Feel Free to Skip This One. The Other Two Are More Interesting

It's funny how the past sneaks up on you out of nowhere.
One minute, you think that everything you left behind is nothing but dust. Old map markers a few pages back. Then, suddenly it's in front of you again, whether you like it or not.
Its like something that was burned to ashes suddenly rematerialized, plain as day, as if it had never been engulfed by the flames you set to it.
Disgusting.

But inevitable.

This past month and a half has been nothing but that feeling.
Things resurfacing. A cancerous relapse.
Everything that I thought I shed, crawling back over my fresh skin.

I've returned to square one.


As much as I hate to admit it, there hasn't been a day that I haven't cried for the past 20-some days. Frankly, I grow weary of it.

My heart is tired of hurting. The weight of it makes it seem like stones could float with ease in comparison.


It sucks that this blog is turning into more of a diary. Occassionally that happens, but that is not my intention. Hopefully it'll seen be back to the angry, yet interesting jots and tiddles that it used to be.

As of right now though, this might be the only place I have to turn.

See, I'm not looking for advice, I'm not looking for help and I'm not looking for opinions. There are plenty of people that are offering that. It's just simply not what I'm looking for.
At this point, I just need to get everything out. Something is telling me that I time will come where I won't be able to convey my feelins properly, but this will be here to do so. This is just a fallback, I guess.

As I started writing this post, my intention was actually to review a CD that I just purchased. Funny how things start to tie together. I suppose I had best get on that.


Until next time.