SHARK SLAYER!!!

Finally some good news! Just what I've been looking for!

Again, I have to keep things vague, just for safe-keeping,

but at least there's a little bit of hope in the future.

So far today, I have:

Tidied up a little bit

Made lunch/dinner with enough for leftovers tomorrow

Cleaned and reorganized my hookah and shisha collection

Found the perfect gift for Van's birthday

Called into the phone company to sort out some issues

I feel pretty productive.

Work at 7 today, until 11, which is kind of shitty, but its hours, so I can't complain too much.

I also need to call Microsoft AGAIN because they've been charging my bank account for no reason.

Easy enough.

Today I also found this article, which made my day and began step one to my "Hope in Humanity Restoration" project (which doesn't actually exist, by the way.)

This awesome guy named Dragan drunkenly jumped into the ocean off of a high-dive and killed an enormous shark that had previously killed a person and injured others. Apparently when he landed on it, he broke it's neck, killing it on impact. Definitely my kind of man.

Mumm Baby!

10. Talk about your pets or the pets you would like to have.

Mumm Ra is my cat-baby.

I love him dearly.

He is currently curled up next to me, sleeping.

Almost 10 pounds.

Hes getting so big!!

AAand

someday I would like to have a crow.

It is 2:07...

And I cannot decide if I want to go to sleep or play Left4Dead2 some more today...

Did I mention that I made a MINOTAUR for D&D?

MINOTAUR!

I love them.

...

okay, one more time:

MINOTAAAAAUUUUURRR!

As If I Couldn't Get Any More Freaked Out...

There are bedbugs at the mall I work at.

Though, I think they got rid of them already...


I'm about ready to shave my head and douse myself in a bleach/kerosene mixture.

Ling Ling, my ass!

As humans, many of us work hard to keep our environment clean, healthy and alive.
We have National Parks, reservations, endangered wildlife funds and various research projects all to make sure that our planet will last forever.

At a very young age, we are told that we should respect the environment. You know, "don't litter", "conserve water" and of course "recycle".

We are also told that every being on the planet has its own special use. Every organism plays its own unique role in the environment and that all of it should be protected and saved.


Well I beg to differ, because I have found an exception:

Pandas.

Fucking pandas.

Those smarmy, self righteous bastards.

Of all creatures on this earth, pandas are the ones that serve no use to the ecosystem.

They do not produce anything useful (except for shit, which can apparently be made into souvenirs...), they don't serve as prey for anything and they don't keep any kind of population in check.

Bamboo population? Yeah right. That shit grows faster than mold on a week old burrito. Pandas or not bamboo is going to flourish. There is so much bamboo and so few pandas that they don't even count.

Pandas. Serve. No. Use.

On top of being useless, they're little bitches, too.

Everyone thinks they're so cute and cuddly,

THEY'RE FUCKING BEARS, PEOPLE!

Do you not realize this?

There is no difference between

and

They're both bears, they're both huge and they both want to tear your limbs off.

Just because they look like fat mimes doesn't mean they're friendly. Or in an invisible box.

Below is a video of a lucky man.

Long story short; fuck pandas.

Stolen

I totally jacked this from a friend's Tumblr.

Since I prefer to blog instead of...Tumble... I will be posting it here instead.

I tend to fall behind on my blogging, and hopefully this will make a good habit out of it, since I do like to document things. So, I guess today I will start with my blog challenge. Though that will be in my next post.



30 Day Tumblr Blog Challenge

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

Until then, enjoy this video of an octopus killing a shark.






Time to contact the octopus adoption agency.

Come In To My Parlor

Arachnophobia: the fear of arachnids, more commonly; spiders.

This, thankfully, is one thing I do not suffer from. My boyfriend, on the other hand....

So here today I have written a list to make the little 8 legged creepy-crawlies a little more bearable.

10 Things You Should Be Glad Spiders Can't Do

1. Fly. Yes, some can sail on threads, others can jump, but let us be thankful that they can't hover, float, fly, or propel themselves through the air. Because that really is the last thing that we need.
2. Shoot lasers. I don't think I need to touch on this any further
3. Speak. Luckily enough for us, they can't crawl under our beds and taunt us in our sleep.
4. Swim. Yes, there are water-striders, but none of them are diving through the depths as a dolphin would, jump through the oceans and rivers.
5. Communicate with other species. Last thing we need is an army of rats being lead by a spider armada.
6. Breed with other species. Spider-cat hybrids. That's all I have to say.
7. Mind control.
8. Create civilizations
9. Shoot barbs.
10. Implant their eggs into your flesh.

Just Your Typical Thundercats Ho

Today I had planned on writing a blog about how every woman has "Jaguar mode". No, this has nothing to do with "cougars" or anything of the sort. Jaguar mode is when a woman gets so incredibly irrate that when she yells or screams she no longer sounds like a human being, but like a wildcat singing a thrashmetal song. This tends to be a very rare experience and only happens when a women is as angry as she can possibly be.

To better describe this, I had clips from two movies in mind, but I couldn't find the second one that I needed. First bit from was Forgetting Sarah Marshall. There is a scene about two-thirds of the way though the movie where Rachel encounters her ex-boy friend and more or less flips shit on him. I found that clip and will post it below.
The second bit was from Knocked Up. In that scene, the character Allison screams mercilessly at a rather confused Seth Rogen in a gynecology office. Unfortunately I could not find the clip from that.
But, those were my two best examples of women going into jaguar mode.
It really is a terrifying experience.

Here is the clip from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It is relatively short, but the part that I speak of is only within the last 10 seconds or so, and she only does it for about 3 seconds, as jaguar mode rarely lasts longer than that.

Well, I suppose after all of that I did make the post I had originally planned on. So now you may carry on with your lives.

Good day.

Oh, and if you are curious as to what sound I am refering to, is would be this, which is technically a bobcat:

The Busy!

Mostly out of boredom I have been doing some online RPing. Just because I can. And that is all I have to say about that.

The other day a buddy of mine and I went to go see Protest the Hero in Albany. It was a 2(ish) hour long drive in the blistering heat, but it was definitely worth it.

A great show, I must say. The first three bands were not bad. One instrumental, the other two were just your standard hardcore/metalcore band. Protest did really well. Sang all the good songs too. I am very happy that I got to see them. One more left, then my list is complete. The Weakerthans.

I will most likely have to go to Canada to see them, but that isn't a problem at all! It actually sounds like a lot of fun.

I think that is all I have to say for now.
So until later, have some art.

Some are just anthromorphic creatures. Im working on a set of zodiac based ones.

The Cthulhu is probably my favorite.

No, Mumm Ra, That Is My Cheese Cake!

If my blog were a puppy, it would have died from neglect by now, or at least been taken away by social services. We still don't have Internet in my house, since money is a little bit tight. But I think one of my neighbors has it, hence the fact that I am typing right this very moment.
Life...is big.
As of now.
There have been a lot of changes.

I dropped out of cooking school, which many people tell me was a bad idea.
Personally, I don't think saving thousands of dollars from going to waste is a bad idea. At some point in the near future I will be changing my major and going to a new school. Most likely for journalism I believe we already went through this. I had been working as a chef for a horrible restaurant called All Shook Up, that charged 9 dollars for a tiny sandwich and didn't have ice cream when they called themselves a "malt shop". Thankfully I am no longer there.
I now work a mediocre job at Best Buy, but I am not complaining. All things considered, I am making money and selling video games, so all is not that bad. I've come to the understanding that sometimes you have to start from the bottom and work your way up. There are no cheat-codes for life, with maybe the exception of the lottery. But that is one of those impossible cheat codes that are really difficult to activate, much like the ones in Earthworm Jim.
Speaking of Earthworm Jim, he is now permanently engraved into my bicep. As I had always said he would be. My sleeve is coming along nicely.

Thanks to some awesome Black Friday sales, we got Left 4 Dead 2 and Dragon Age for outstanding prices. Van and I beat L4D2 on Co-op mode, but need to go through it on single player still. It is a good game, the graphics are nice and the new weapons are useful, but it isn't all that different from the first one. Honestly, it kind of seems the exact same in some parts. Though, I don't own the first one, so I'm alright with that.
Zombies tend to go in a backwards order for me. Always start with the second part. as I did with 28 Weeks later.
Dragon age is pretty awesome, but also very frustrating to me. There are a lot of different controls and settings that I really don't have the patients to deal with. I just want to go and be the most evil of mages. Unfortunately I have to listen to hours of dialog to do so. Alas, it shall be done.
\And while we are on the topic, I will quickly state that I got to level 30 out of 55 on Zombies Ate My Neighbors. No cheats used. Go me.

As of recent we have a new addition to our family: Mumm Ra our little cat-baby.
Well, he isn't so little anymore, but he is still a young one. We found him outside last month and didn't want to leave him. He came right up to me and was more than happy to stay. Now that he is massive and has become a master of parkour. He is also trying to eat my cheesecake.
And yes, the name Mumm Ra did come from ThunderCats.


Yes, that is a chicken hat.


My parents just got to meet Mumm Ra at our first Thanksgiving.
It was a very interesting and slightly horrifying experience, but luckily enough it all turned out okay in the end, despite our power going out an hour into cooking our Turducken in out electric stove and me being rather sick for a few days. In the end all was good and we had enough food for 30 people to feed our little gathering of 6.


I suppose that is all that needs to be said for the time being. When I think of something new and also have Internet, I will keep this updated.
Ta.

I Pose A Theory.

Today I had a horrifying experience.
As a Pagan and an ex-vegan, I still feel the need to treat nature well and with respect, regardless of the situation, but unfortunately work today seemed to focus mainly on the demise of small animals.
Working in a bakery, it is only natural to have mice show up now and again. To me, I figure as long as they aren't getting into the food and making a mess, it should be okay. Unfortunately, the entire reason mice go to places in the first place is so that they can get into the food and consequently, make a mess. Therefor the mice had to go. The proper way to handle this kind of situation would have been to order enclosed traps and relocate the mice to a nearby field, which we have plenty of. I do understand that there are 1. too many mice, and 2. not enough time to do this. So, in the end this means that they must be killed. As much as I don't like the idea of this, it is understood. Personally, I have no problem disposing of a dead mouse. To be honest, I am a little bit afraid of the living ones since I got bit by one as a kid. Though a dead one doesn't bother me. Since this is the case, I was elected head of Mouse Disposal Crew. Actually, I was the only member of mouse disposal crew, due to the fact that we have other things to do other than play with dead mice, and also that they had to be quickly removed since they were decaying and the whole place smelled horribly of dead rodent. Sad to say, I can identify the smell of dead rodent very well.
Moving right along.
As I go to dispose of what I thought would be one or two dead mice in snap traps, I find that my employers have decided to use the least humane form of trap possible: a glue trap. And little did I know that there were not one or two mice, but seven. Two of which were still a alive and stuck in the little gooey trays.
As previously mentioned, it was a horrifying experience to see the small creature staring up at me with its shining, beaded eyes, with it's nose and feet stuck in a thick layer of gel. It immediately began squirming and tugging in fear as I approached. Feeling there was no kind of polite way to dispose of it, I placed a paper towel over the entire tray, covering both the living mouse and the couple dead ones that lay stuck next to it. At this point I was unsure of what to do. Do I put it in the plastic bag and let it suffocate slowly? Do I quickly end it's life by stepping on it? I felt that the second would have been the nicer thing to do, but on the other hand who am I to play God and take a life? it is not my choice when something should die. So instead I tied it into the plastic bag and tossed it into the dumpster. Perhaps the poor creature will free itself from the trap and make its way into a safe dumpster haven. As unlikely as this is, I can hope. The only thing worse than the one still wriggling, was the small mouse that had to have only been a few days old. No larger than my thumb he stood stuck in the glue, ribs fluctuating with each panicked breath as my hand drew closer to pick up the tray. The saddest part of the whole experience was the fact that this small one began squeaking in terror, trying to escape. This was not something I would like to have to do again, although I do know that there is another glue trap in the back room.
Scary that this all happened by 7:00 am.
As the day progressed we had several, and by several I mean anywhere between 5 and 8 people woth arms bigger around than my head, come in to install our new proof box. How exciting. Lucky for me, my space was taken over and I had to relocate to a different table right in the way of every person that walked by with a huge piece of the metal box. Please note my sarcasm. We usually have seven or so people working at the same time in our bake shop, occasionally a dishwasher or another employee from a different part of the building will come in. Today we ended up with a total of 15 people in the room at once. Mind you, this bakeshop is not very large.
One of my co-workers then said "In a perfect world, we would be working at different times." Meaning the bakers and the men that were installing the proof box.
This then got me thinking "What is a perfect world?"
I pondered this thought for quite a while as I put danishes and cinnamon rolls on a tray.
I then finally come to the conclusion that we already live in a perfect world, everything is perfect as it is. This theory is still in the works, considering that I haven't had anyone to discuss this yet, but so far I can not think of a reason why this world is not perfect. Yes, I understand that each individual person is not perfect, but people as a whole are. But then you must break that down. Are only half of the people perfect? No, because no one is perfect. And if no one is perfect, then there is nothing above imperfect. We know nothing greater than imperfection. And if there is nothing greater than imperfection, then imperfection is indeed perfection. If there were anything that was indeed 100% perfect, that would then make something else obsolete. And obsoletion is imperfection. Imperfection is necessary for perfection. Again, I am still testing this theory and I welcome any criticisms and will answer or reply to them in later posts.

Raise Your Hand If You've Ever

stuck your finger in your cat's mouth while it was yawning.