SHARK SLAYER!!!

Finally some good news! Just what I've been looking for!

Again, I have to keep things vague, just for safe-keeping,

but at least there's a little bit of hope in the future.

So far today, I have:

Tidied up a little bit

Made lunch/dinner with enough for leftovers tomorrow

Cleaned and reorganized my hookah and shisha collection

Found the perfect gift for Van's birthday

Called into the phone company to sort out some issues

I feel pretty productive.

Work at 7 today, until 11, which is kind of shitty, but its hours, so I can't complain too much.

I also need to call Microsoft AGAIN because they've been charging my bank account for no reason.

Easy enough.

Today I also found this article, which made my day and began step one to my "Hope in Humanity Restoration" project (which doesn't actually exist, by the way.)

This awesome guy named Dragan drunkenly jumped into the ocean off of a high-dive and killed an enormous shark that had previously killed a person and injured others. Apparently when he landed on it, he broke it's neck, killing it on impact. Definitely my kind of man.

Raw Food Time?

Raw food time.
I gotta lose this weight.
Its showing more and more.
I CANNOT STAND IT FOR ANOTHER SECOND.

Feel Free to Skip This One. The Other Two Are More Interesting

It's funny how the past sneaks up on you out of nowhere.
One minute, you think that everything you left behind is nothing but dust. Old map markers a few pages back. Then, suddenly it's in front of you again, whether you like it or not.
Its like something that was burned to ashes suddenly rematerialized, plain as day, as if it had never been engulfed by the flames you set to it.
Disgusting.

But inevitable.

This past month and a half has been nothing but that feeling.
Things resurfacing. A cancerous relapse.
Everything that I thought I shed, crawling back over my fresh skin.

I've returned to square one.


As much as I hate to admit it, there hasn't been a day that I haven't cried for the past 20-some days. Frankly, I grow weary of it.

My heart is tired of hurting. The weight of it makes it seem like stones could float with ease in comparison.


It sucks that this blog is turning into more of a diary. Occassionally that happens, but that is not my intention. Hopefully it'll seen be back to the angry, yet interesting jots and tiddles that it used to be.

As of right now though, this might be the only place I have to turn.

See, I'm not looking for advice, I'm not looking for help and I'm not looking for opinions. There are plenty of people that are offering that. It's just simply not what I'm looking for.
At this point, I just need to get everything out. Something is telling me that I time will come where I won't be able to convey my feelins properly, but this will be here to do so. This is just a fallback, I guess.

As I started writing this post, my intention was actually to review a CD that I just purchased. Funny how things start to tie together. I suppose I had best get on that.


Until next time.

Wow. 4 Days Already? Oops!

I could have swore that just yesterday I posted my 30 Day Blog Challenge.

Time to catch up.

Day 2: Talk about your tattoos and piercings.

Easy enough!

My first piercings were, of course, my ears.

I was an infant, it wasn't my choice. I don't remember.

As I grew older, I wanted more. The holes had shifted a little, so now I just ignore them

Now I have 3 new holes in each ear. I've had them normal sized, I've had them gauged to all kinds of crazy ways. Unsuccessfully, I've pierced my nose and ears and other parts. None of it turned out as I hoped, so I just let them be.

Right after my 18th birthday I pierced my tongue. I've had all of those since.

Tattoos, though.

My first one was a hand-drawn honey bee. Not unlike the ones from Whinnie the Pooh. It is on my side, above my hip.

Ink, as many people know, is addicting.

From the bee it then turned to arm tattoos:

3/4 of my right arm is covered, from above my wrist up to my shoulder. All of them are old Sega Genesis games.

It starts with Zombies Ate My Neighbors, then goes to Battle Toads, then Earthworm Jim, then Ecco the Dolphin, then Sonic the Hedgehog. Some the main characters, some the side characters and villains. Today, for example, I got Evil the Cat from Earthworm Jim on my shoulder. Next month I'll be getting the cover from Golden Axe II on the back of my shoulder.

No, there are no real pictures of them online. I have a few pictures of the individual bits, but there are no pictures of its entirety. Soon, my friends, soon.

Day 3: Write About Your Favorite Television Program

I wish I could write about my favorite television program, but I actually don't have one.

In all honesty, I avoid watching TV if I can. I really like movies and games, but TV, I could do without.

Back in the day, Queer as Folk was one that was frequently played in my house. When I was younger I liked Invader Zim. As of right now? There really aren't any. Its a struggle to find something enjoyable.

Day 4: Write About Your Closets Friends

That is pretty hard to do at this point in my life.

Many of my friends, I don't talk to anymore. The ones that I do speak to, we don't have the "best friends" relationships.

Wow.

This...actually really sucks.

Another One Of These

I stole this from my friend's Tumblr.

And also I just need something to keep my mind off of my life right now.

So, Day 1.

My middle name is Elise.
When I was younger, I didn't really like it. The name was far too girly for my taste. To this day, it still surpasses any level of femininity that I could ever muster, but regardless, I have no qualms with the name.
As I got older, I began to appreciate it, mostly because of the fact that my parents got it from the song Für Elise, by Ludwig van Beethoven.

You Don't Even Want To Know

I will start by apologizing for the negativity that is seeping from every crooked letter and every punctuation in this post.

These past few days may have been some of the worst days of my life.

What makes it even worse is the fact that I can't even write about it here due to potential legal issues.

The other day I was flown to Texas to testify in court.

First I had to drive to Philadelphia, which is no big deal, as this happens about once a month.

From Philadelphia I flew to Houston, Texas. No big deal, right? Wrong.

The flight was connecting, of course, so I could get to my actual destination. Unfortunately, though, that flight left 20 minutes after my first flight touched ground. God knows it could take 20 minutes just to get off of a plane. Naturally, my first flight was ten minutes late. Fantastic.

Finally I made it in and went to the gate, which turned out to be changed. The new terminal was "all the way across the airport", according to one of the not-so-accommodating staff members. So, off I ran, taking the train for the second time to get to the proper terminal. Did I get there? Yes. Did the employee tell me the right terminal? No. Of course, I had to hope back on the plane and finally made it to the proper gate.

Just in time for the plane to be leaving.

I missed my freaking flight.

So, after more frustration, my flight was switched and I had to fly to Dallas. Then from Dallas, to my destination.

It was a nightmare.

My feet hurt, my stomach was sick, I hadn't slept in 36 hours and I had to face what felt like a reoccurring nightmare.

We will shorten this whole, lengthy story by saying I was driven to the court house, testified then spent the night and the next day in a large hotel. The court case did not go at all as planned. If anything, it was the complete opposite of what we were hoping for.

In the hotel, the food was mediocre and I found fleas in my room. Luckily I got my room switched and got to watch cable for a while, so that was good.

The next day I was driven back to the airport, hoped on a tiny jet, flew back into Houston, then went back onto another plane to Philly. That flight was filled with screaming, shrieking, whining children and a lady that chomped on her gum as if she were a goat.

The whole situation was a horrible, horrible nightmare that still has my eyes watering when I think about it too hard.

Another few days in Philly to recover, then back to New York.

Honestly, I'm not even writing this post so people can read it, but more for my own well-being. it just sucks that I can't even write what I want to.

Recently I haven't been able to talk to Van much, not just because of not being home, but because of work schedules and just issues.

He has so many of his own problems that I can't help but feel like I am a complete and total burden to him more than anything else.

Not too long ago we got new that we were going to have to move out of our apartment. Van will be moving into his family's house, I will be moving into my friends' house.

Thanksgiving is going to be crappy, and Christmas is going to be even worse. I'm dreading every upcoming moment for the next 6 months.

There is just too much going on right now for me to handle and I don't know what to do.

I can't get a hold of my best friend, either, so I really feel like I have no one right now.

Sure, I have my parents, as I'm staying in their house, but as soon as I leave here and go back to New York, I'm going to be completely alone again.

I don't feel like writing anymore.

Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

This passed week has been mostly wonderful!

Isn't that a good thing?

It's been a while since there has been any updates here, and for that I apologize. This may be a lengthy one.

First things first:

Fallout New Vegas.

Has is been taking up a lot of my time?

The answer is "yes".

At this point I am at level...18? And well on my way. So here comes the "review", so to speak.

The beginning of the game may have been the biggest disappointment I have faced since Sonic the Hedgehog became 3D.

The storyline was god-awful, the startup of the game was slow, the area was boring and the new features were confusing.

Total play time before throwing down the controller: 45 minutes.

Total time spent bitching because the game sucked: 5 days.

Eventually I had some more spare time and I finally mustered up the patients to guts to pick it up again.

Same thing.

Total play time: An hour and 15 minutes.

Faith in Bethesda: Diminished.

"Oh, it gets better," they said.

"Keep playing!" They said.

Fine.

"You can launch Ghouls into outer space!" They said.

...

Well... in that case...

Controller back in hand, I trudged onward through the Mojave wasteland, trying to make the best of things.

Total playtime: 32 hours and 15 minutes.

Ultimately, it redeemed itself, making it a more playable game. Less frustrating, too. Here is a quick run through of what is good and not so good.

Good:

The dialog. I was extremely impressed with the dialog, this time around.

In Fallout 3, you could walk around and another character would make a nasty, offhand remark about you. Though, as soon as you clicked on them to speak, they were cheery as can be.

Here, that changed that. When they're mean, they're mean. When they're nice, they're nice. It is refreshing. Other than that, the dialog options are great.

Creatures and people.

The new characters and creatures in the game are awesome! Robotic dogs, firebreathing geckos, Elvis impersonators. Its great. A lot less run-of-the-mill.

Companions.

The companions you have follow you are swell. They also give you a lot of neat-o perks.

Let me tell you, Boone is just the bee's knees.

Fame:

Instead of just having good or bad karma, you gain fame an infamy amongst the other colonizations and groups in the wasteland. This is really nice, actually, because instead of having EVERYONE shooting at you, you only have a few people. Though, the disguises and outfits don't work as well as I had hoped they would...

Mediocre:

The storyline.

Perhaps Im just not far enough along yet, but I think that I like the other storyline a little bit better....

Housing:

It takes a bit longer to get your house here, I feel, but the options are greater. The first house you get, there is little or no attachment to the tow you're in. No reason to stat, reall. Evertually you get a really badass one.

Perks: There are some good ones, but there are also a lot of the same ones.... its disappointing. On top of that, you only get to choose a perk every-other level, which confused and upset me in the beginning.

Weapon mods:

Cool in theory, but a little too complicated for my liking. Especially the ammo. It is too time consuming and the menu screens are too cluttered for my to bother taking my time on it.

Bad:

THE BUGS AND GLITCHES.

This may be the reason that I permanently lay this game to rest. There are too many quest-breaking bugs. It stutters, freezes and stalls. People and items don't show up where they need to be, and we have has some file corruptions that set us back HOURS.

Ammo mods/Creation:

I hate this and try to avoid it at all cost. Too much of a pain in the ass for me.

Snow globes:

I miss the bobble heads! And they give you money, instead of skill points... Oh well...

Overall, its pretty cool, but it doesn't quite hold a candle to Fallout 3. After falling in love with those characters, it really sucks to have to start over again. The bugs in the game are excruciating and frustrating (along with the lengthly loading screens...)

I would recommend picking it up, for sure. But I may actually recommend that you wait until there is a patch out for it or you will just be wasting your time.

When not playing Fallout, I have been working overnights (hence the lack of updates.) Personally, I think it is awesome. Most of it was physical labor, which was a nice chance. Getting in to work at 9, then leaving at 9 in the morning was actually pretty sweet. (McDonald's bacon, egg and cheese bagels for dinner! YES!)

I didn't really like sleeping all day though. Didn't get to see Van very much either. But other than that, it was nice. A lot of hours and a lot of moving around. I dig.

Finally I caved and applied for college again. I just need to get my transcripts sent in. I'm going to be a High School English teacher. This is something I look forward to.

Right now all I can think about is food, so I'm going to go and perhaps play Fallout until Van wakes up. My sleeping schedule is all screwed up now, so I just woke up a little while ago and its 4 AM (I think? Daylight savings time has confused me a little bit, since the clock on my computer is already wrong?)

Off to scrounge up some Lucky Charms.

What A D-Bag

First off, I have no idea what to write about. It seems like the topics for me to cover are dwindling.
So, if anyone has anything that they want to read about, feel free to let me know and I'll get to it.
Lets make this blog more "reader happy", if that makes sense.


Secondly, I just watched the movie Funny People, and I seriously think that it made me depressed. 2 hours of a sick comedian's life spiraling out of control? Great.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about depressing shit. I rather enjoy watching fucked up movies about drugs and gangs and crap like that. Not if I expect it to be funny though.


Thirdly, I'm about to slaughter my neighbors. Not only were they pounding on the wall with a hammer today, but now they're stomping around like a herd of cattle upstairs. Its really not difficult to walk lightly.


And lastly:

FUCK FOUR LOKO

*No, that is not me. My puke was blue and full of Funyuns.

There Ain't No Rest For the Wicked

Sagging, tired eyes

What is this thing you speak of?

"Sleep" is what it's called?

I've lost count of how many days it has been since I've slept well. Going to bed at 6:30 am isn't cutting it. For some reason I keep tossing and turning.

Luckily enough, I've been able to keep myself busy.

So far I've nearly completed my Fallout 3 Laser Rifle prop for my Halloween costume. The rest of my outfit is ready to go. Same with Van's.

The other night I worked the midnight release for Fallout New Vegas. What a wonderful time!

Of course I left the store with my collector's edition copy, I haven't had a chance to play it though.

After leaving the midnight release a little later than 1 am, I drove a friend of mine home, then picked up my other friend, Jason, and we drove to Philly.

In the pouring rain.

At 2 am.

Several Full Throttles, a NOS, a Rockstar and a Venom later....

We got to my parents' house at 6 am, just as Dad was leaving for work.

Almost immediately we went to sleep, just to wake up in 4 hours then drive an hour into Center City.

There we waited at the Rock School of Dance to audition to work at DISNEY WORLD!

This was very exciting.

I figured, though, that we would just do some minor acting auditions and get an interview. I was sorely mistaken.

And sore in general.

Turns out we had to dance for approximately 3 hours. Almost non-stop. After being so exhausted (and sick from drinking all those poisons on an empty stomach that morning...), dancing was the LAST thing I needed to do. I was certain that I was going to faint.

The auditions were out at 5 pm. I felt confident and sweaty and ready to collapse.

With eyes drooping and heads nodding, we finally made our way home, ate dinner, then watched the extremely disappointing Scream Awards.

At 8 o'clock this morning, we woke up and made our way back to New York. Traffic was awful, due to ungodly amounts of construction.

I dropped Jason off at his house, then went to Planet New York and added on to my tattoo.

Now, I'm home, sitting on the couch, typing this with my eyes closed, ready to fall asleep. Maybe I'll make cookies for Van tonight, since I just got some chocolate chip cookie dough from Mom.

Or maybe I'll just lay on the floor until someone scoops me up with a giant spatula...

Today was a day of much-needed adventuring and business.
After sitting around the house for a week or so, it was nice to go out for a little.
Yeah, okay, I wandered around the mall for 6 hours, but it was better than sitting home alone doing nothing.
(Though...that could have been some valuable Fallout time...)

I found some parts for my Halloween costume, got some more tobacco for my hookah (which you can review on my other blog, if you click to my profile) and saw Jackass 3D.


Let me tell you, Jackass 3D was the best 11 dollars I have spent in a long time.
If you're into that kind of crap, I definitely recommend it. Plus, Johnny Knoxville is my "From-the-waist-up" celebrity crush. It gave me a much needed laugh, which I was thankful for.



Sometimes you just need to watch a guy get punched in the dick, you know?

I Am Not A Violent Person

I just have no problem with ripping someone's arm off then beating them to death with it.


Not really, though.
I realize, after going back and reading these, that I seem really, really mean. Or bitchy. Or hateful.
This is partially true, I will admit.
Part of this I blame on working kitchen jobs, part of this I blame on working retail jobs.
My sense of humor comes in to play. I suppose one could say that I have a "violent" sense of humor.
But I don't mean it, for the most part.

I'm nice, I promise.


Or maybe I'm just a MINOTAAAAAUUUURRR!

Bet you weren't expecting that, huh?!

Lastly, I'd like to say that I freakin love Snoop.

It is 2:07...

And I cannot decide if I want to go to sleep or play Left4Dead2 some more today...

Did I mention that I made a MINOTAUR for D&D?

MINOTAUR!

I love them.

...

okay, one more time:

MINOTAAAAAUUUUURRR!

As If I Couldn't Get Any More Freaked Out...

There are bedbugs at the mall I work at.

Though, I think they got rid of them already...


I'm about ready to shave my head and douse myself in a bleach/kerosene mixture.

Android.

I am so paranoid.
This is terrible.

Recently, I had fleas in my house. Luckily enough, I killed them all, and will be respraying next week.

On top of that, the media keeps fueling our minds with the threat of bedbugs.


All of this has led me to being extremely itch all the time.
I feel like I have things crawling all over me. It is driving me crazy!!!

Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It...

For any of you hookah smokers out there, I've started a blog on shisha reviews.
Feel free to take a look and comment with your opinions and experiences.

Thanks!


Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It!


I promise I'm not as mean in this one.

As Promised

To any of you who haven't read my reviews before,
You will quickly learn that I specialize in tearing things apart.
I know, I know, this is unfair, but that is just how it is.
Unfortunately, the bad almost always outweighs the good.

If there is a movie where a basket of kittens get violently and graphically tortured, no one is going to give a shit if the protagonist finally gets with the love interest.

Violently and graphically tortured kittens outweigh a kiss.

The bad outweighs the good.

(I am in no way, shape, or form suggesting that a basket of kittens get violently and graphically tortured in The Social Network, so don't get your hopes up, sociopaths.)

Now, the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem.

That is exactly what I'm doing here: admitting that I violently and graphically torture movies in my reviews.
So, I will try my hardest not to be to brutal with this one.


(Insert shitty "Windows Movie Maker" transition here)


The Social Network.


Let me start by telling you that I only had minimal knowledge of what this movie was about before I went to see it.
So little, actually, that about 40 minutes into the movie, I noticed what the main character's name was, leaned over to my friend, and said "Wait...Mark Zuckerburg? Isn't that the guy who made Facebook?"

No shit, Sherlock, go back to the kiddie table.

I though that this movie was a fictional tale about social networking, fabricated for the entertainment of the Internet-saturated youth of today.
Oh, was I wrong.

It turns out that this movie was the history of Facebook.

FACEBOOK!

REALLY?

Why would ANYONE be interest in seeing that?

Had I known that, I probably would have waited to rent it, accidentally kicked it under the couch, forgotten about it for weeks, and had a movie-ticket's worth of late fees by the time I finally found it.

Luckily though, it wasn't wretched.

So, allow me to paint a picture for you;

The film starts out with our hero(???), and his girlfriend at a bar, babbling almost incoherently back and forth in a tedious, somewhat indistinguishable monotonous exchange that made me pray and pray that the entire movie wasn't going to be like this.

Turns out it was simply a way to show what a DICK our main character is.

Though, our dickish main character's dialog was kept up in the same excruciating fashion throughout the entire movie. (I will admit that it was funny, if you could keep up.)

The whole middle of the movie was a back-and-forth, dizzying switch between camera angles and parts of the story, trying to explain multiple lawsuits. Not only were they explaining lawsuits, they were explaining them backwards. Kind of. It wasn't bad though, just took a little getting used to.

One thing I couldn't get used to was the GOD DAMN FILTERS that they used.

I felt like I was watching the first 10 seconds of an Asthma medication commercial throughout the ENTIRE MOVIE. And when it wasn't an Asthma medication commercial, it had the feel of a modernized Western. Maybe if Walker Texas Ranger banged Juno McGuff.
Something like that.
Horrible filters. Horrible filters that were difficult to see past (ba'dum-tss!)

That was perhaps my biggest complaint about the movie.

I had one more problem, though. Not from my own personal experience, but I feel like it could have easily been an issue, especially for either the older generations or the younger generations.

If you understood a large amount about computers, then this movie would be easy for you to follow.
If you understand a lot about the law, it would be even easier.
And if you understand a bit about business, then it would be easier yet.

If you don't know much about any of the previously stated; good luck. You're gonna need it.

The film is about Harvard students.
They talk and act like...well...Harvard students.

So, if you're an older person that only operates the computer to check your email when you remember or to play Solitaire because the TV is out, then this movie will be miserable for you to watch. Stay home and open up that DVD your grand kids got your for Christmas that you haven't touched yet.

If you're twelve years old and have no idea how life works yet, go watch the Guardians of Gahoole or whatever the hell it is, because you're not going to understand it and you're going to sit in the theater texting your BFF the whole time. Then I'm going to reach over and break your phone in half then stuff it in your cherry slushy. (Do I smell a euphemism?!)

Now, as I say in almost every blog of mine:

Moving right along.

The acting was pretty on-par (with a few awkward exceptions,), the story, in the end, was interesting enough, and the cinematography was...acceptable. The oh-so-anticipated musical score, though, was god-awful.

Have you ever seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"?

At one point in that movie, the main character talks about his job as a composer. He explains that he doesn't compose music, really, but just dark and ominous tones.

It felt like they hired him for this movie.

Dark and ominous tones.

Dark.
And.
Ominous.
...

Tones.

That's pretty much what we had going on here.

But let's try to think positively.

One of the strongest points of the movie, was character development, but I feel like that's nothing special since it was based on REAL PEOPLE. There were no "characters" to "develop".
But over all, the characters were interesting.
While watching it, I felt for them.
When one got fucked over, I was a little pissed. When something good happened, it made me happy.
They weren't just empty shells, so that was good.
Everything about it was very realistic (no shit...) From the emotions, to the consequences of the character's actions, to the way they spoke, to the way they dressed. Even the events of the movie were realistic, so that was very uplifting. My time wasn't totally wasted.
Well, not all of it.
About....eh.... an hour and fifty minutes of it.
A story that could have easily been told in ten minutes was drug out to about two hours.

It was like listening to your drunken uncle at thanksgiving.

You know, the one you try to avoid being alone with because he's going to hold you hostage and tell you his life story for the 6th time?
Kind of like that.

The movie was just a bit long.
(and then ended really abruptly, so you had no idea when it was finally going to be over.)

So, i the end, I'd say "sure, go see it".
Its worth seeing once. I wouldn't buy it, I wouldn't see it again in the theater unless someone else was paying for my ticket and begged me to go.
Maybe I'll rent it once.
Its worth a one time see, so may as well.
We all know that if you don't, you're just going to sit home and F5 your News Feed for two hours anyway.

3/5 stars.

Forget "Sexy", is JT Going to Bring Myspace Back?

Today I am going to see The Social Network
(I know, I know, I'm so behind! It's been out for a whole two days already!)

So I will be back to bitch and rant about it.

(That's actually pretty unlikely, as it got a 97% from Rotten Tomatos.)

I guess we will find out.

Then you all can read yet ANOTHER review.

The Final Day

Day 30- Who are you?





A picker, a grinner, a lover, a sinner

No...
no that's not right...

a bitch, a lover, a child a mother..

no... thats not right either...

When I know, you will know.

Na Na Na!

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned


I have learned:

The importance of keeping your professional life and personal life separate,
Everyone thinks that they are right.
I'm awesome at Fallout 3.

The new My Chemical Romance song is phenominal!

Does that count??

Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?


Uh. Lets see,

Gained 15-20 pounds.

Sleeve tattoo

Long hair.

Thats about it.

Kinda sucks.