Thursday, December 3, 2009

No, Mumm Ra, That Is My Cheese Cake!

If my blog were a puppy, it would have died from neglect by now, or at least been taken away by social services. We still don't have Internet in my house, since money is a little bit tight. But I think one of my neighbors has it, hence the fact that I am typing right this very moment. big.
As of now.
There have been a lot of changes.

I dropped out of cooking school, which many people tell me was a bad idea.
Personally, I don't think saving thousands of dollars from going to waste is a bad idea. At some point in the near future I will be changing my major and going to a new school. Most likely for journalism I believe we already went through this. I had been working as a chef for a horrible restaurant called All Shook Up, that charged 9 dollars for a tiny sandwich and didn't have ice cream when they called themselves a "malt shop". Thankfully I am no longer there.
I now work a mediocre job at Best Buy, but I am not complaining. All things considered, I am making money and selling video games, so all is not that bad. I've come to the understanding that sometimes you have to start from the bottom and work your way up. There are no cheat-codes for life, with maybe the exception of the lottery. But that is one of those impossible cheat codes that are really difficult to activate, much like the ones in Earthworm Jim.
Speaking of Earthworm Jim, he is now permanently engraved into my bicep. As I had always said he would be. My sleeve is coming along nicely.

Thanks to some awesome Black Friday sales, we got Left 4 Dead 2 and Dragon Age for outstanding prices. Van and I beat L4D2 on Co-op mode, but need to go through it on single player still. It is a good game, the graphics are nice and the new weapons are useful, but it isn't all that different from the first one. Honestly, it kind of seems the exact same in some parts. Though, I don't own the first one, so I'm alright with that.
Zombies tend to go in a backwards order for me. Always start with the second part. as I did with 28 Weeks later.
Dragon age is pretty awesome, but also very frustrating to me. There are a lot of different controls and settings that I really don't have the patients to deal with. I just want to go and be the most evil of mages. Unfortunately I have to listen to hours of dialog to do so. Alas, it shall be done.
\And while we are on the topic, I will quickly state that I got to level 30 out of 55 on Zombies Ate My Neighbors. No cheats used. Go me.

As of recent we have a new addition to our family: Mumm Ra our little cat-baby.
Well, he isn't so little anymore, but he is still a young one. We found him outside last month and didn't want to leave him. He came right up to me and was more than happy to stay. Now that he is massive and has become a master of parkour. He is also trying to eat my cheesecake.
And yes, the name Mumm Ra did come from ThunderCats.

Yes, that is a chicken hat.

My parents just got to meet Mumm Ra at our first Thanksgiving.
It was a very interesting and slightly horrifying experience, but luckily enough it all turned out okay in the end, despite our power going out an hour into cooking our Turducken in out electric stove and me being rather sick for a few days. In the end all was good and we had enough food for 30 people to feed our little gathering of 6.

I suppose that is all that needs to be said for the time being. When I think of something new and also have Internet, I will keep this updated.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

the horror of the holiday

the horror of the holiday season.
the terror at bestbuy
toddlers dont need
$300.00 ipods

Sunday, November 1, 2009

this lack of interenet makes

this lack of interenet makes me sad.
i apologize to any loyal readers i may have (had).
regardless of situation, there will be sleeve photos.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ridiculous As Usual

Dear Reader,
I don't really know how to tell you this, I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your apartment and I saw you drive over the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.
Please don't hurt me,

then tag 10 random people

Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(Your name)
then tag 10 random people

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken-In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chr├ętien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings from your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

Monday, August 31, 2009

I Do What I Must Because I Can

Another day goes by,
always with more things to do
An angry morning.
I have shanghaied the Culinary's computer lab in order to gain some form of Internet access. At least I can check my bank account now, since I lost my debit card AGAIN.
Thankfully it is all in order and my card is now cancelled with a new one on the way.
Someday I will make a dress out of all of my debit cards that I have gone through.
A visit to Stop N Shop proved successful, and again they twisted my arm into buying 10/10 candy bars. Dirty bastards.
Tonight I feel that I will be making a cake. This sounds like a good plan to me. Perhaps when I go home, after I clean up after Hurricane SpaceMarine and finish picking bids of Kameamea** Testosteroni* pizza out of the carpeting.
Ironically, my GPS has gone missing and I can't seem to find it, or the cord. It seems as through someone may have taken it out of my car. A bad decision on their part.
All things aside, my new job begins tomorrow.
I quit working at Mohonk Want To Kill Yourself And Everyone Around You House and will now be working at an undisclosed location, cheffing it up.
And yes, this means that I will not be finishing my externship, which means that yes, I will not be returning to the Culinary Institute, and yes, I am very happy about this.
Goal: write for Game Informer magazine.
*chicken, bacon, ham, ground beef, sausage, steak, pepperoni. Weighs about as much as a small pit-bull.
**with pineapple

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tea cookies are devilish things.

Tea cookies
are devilish things.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dear Readers It seems as

Dear Readers
It seems as though I no longer have internet access.
I apologize for the lack of updates.
I just saw a vulture eating a cat.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

But I Can't Remember The Sound That You Found For Me.

Scene1: Camera pans to outside of a closed window. A girl, about 20 stands at the window looking outside at the rain. She turns her head to look back into the bedroom, through the doorway. A man, about 30 is seen sleeping on the couch, the television flickering. Girl turns and takes one last look outside before darting from the window.
Camera focuses on front door. Door opens, girl hurries outside, pulling on a coat and carrying a bag. She puts up her hood and runs down the sidewalk. Camera follows behind her.
She slows to a walk.

Scene2: (next day)Man is seen walking down the sidewalk. It is no longer raining.

Scene3: (next day)Girl sits on a bench on the sidewalk. Camera pans down the street to the house. The man is seen glancing out the window, curtains are pulled shut.

Scene4: The girl stands at the counter of a convenience store. Her hair is messy and her clothing is dirty. She counts coins in her hands and places them on the counter, taking her purchases. She leaves the store and walks outside, to what looks like an old factory. She enters the building and makes her way to sit on a crate.
The girl goes outside again. She sits on top of a car.
(Scene fades)

Scene5:(Flashback) Girl, in the house, sits at a kitchen table. The man arrives, carrying bags. He tosses them on the table, then sits on the couch, ignoring the girl. She stands to greet him, then begins removing groceries from the bags, putting them away.
(Scene fades)

Scene6: Return to girl on the car. a woman storms up to the car, silently screaming and waving her arms. The girl slides down and hurries away, brushing back her hair and wiping her eyes. She hurries back to the abandoned building and lays down on boxes, closing her eyes. Camera zooms on her face.
Screen fades, transitioning into a flashback. Camera zooms out from girl's face. She is laying , asleep, on the couch with the man, her head on his chest, his fingers in her hair.
Screen fades, transitioning back to abandoned building. the girl is falling asleep on the ground as the camera zooms out. Fade to black.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Meow Meow!

I have come to the sad realization of "sleeping in for 5 hours means that I wake up at 9 am".

quite a bummer.

My last day off was last Friday and wow does it feel nice to take a bit of a break. But, of course, back to work tomorrow.

Today though, I should go to the store to buy some asprin and other important things. If I go out today, I will. If I don't...I will not. Obviously.

But, until I make that decision, I think I will watch Mama Mia (ALL BY MY LONESOME!)

and eat a bagle, that I will not be sharing.

And here is where you can pretend that I put a smily face. I don't use those in my blog. No no.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I Don't Even Really Like Rice Crispy Treats

but I ate one anyway.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I Pose A Theory.

Today I had a horrifying experience.
As a Pagan and an ex-vegan, I still feel the need to treat nature well and with respect, regardless of the situation, but unfortunately work today seemed to focus mainly on the demise of small animals.
Working in a bakery, it is only natural to have mice show up now and again. To me, I figure as long as they aren't getting into the food and making a mess, it should be okay. Unfortunately, the entire reason mice go to places in the first place is so that they can get into the food and consequently, make a mess. Therefor the mice had to go. The proper way to handle this kind of situation would have been to order enclosed traps and relocate the mice to a nearby field, which we have plenty of. I do understand that there are 1. too many mice, and 2. not enough time to do this. So, in the end this means that they must be killed. As much as I don't like the idea of this, it is understood. Personally, I have no problem disposing of a dead mouse. To be honest, I am a little bit afraid of the living ones since I got bit by one as a kid. Though a dead one doesn't bother me. Since this is the case, I was elected head of Mouse Disposal Crew. Actually, I was the only member of mouse disposal crew, due to the fact that we have other things to do other than play with dead mice, and also that they had to be quickly removed since they were decaying and the whole place smelled horribly of dead rodent. Sad to say, I can identify the smell of dead rodent very well.
Moving right along.
As I go to dispose of what I thought would be one or two dead mice in snap traps, I find that my employers have decided to use the least humane form of trap possible: a glue trap. And little did I know that there were not one or two mice, but seven. Two of which were still a alive and stuck in the little gooey trays.
As previously mentioned, it was a horrifying experience to see the small creature staring up at me with its shining, beaded eyes, with it's nose and feet stuck in a thick layer of gel. It immediately began squirming and tugging in fear as I approached. Feeling there was no kind of polite way to dispose of it, I placed a paper towel over the entire tray, covering both the living mouse and the couple dead ones that lay stuck next to it. At this point I was unsure of what to do. Do I put it in the plastic bag and let it suffocate slowly? Do I quickly end it's life by stepping on it? I felt that the second would have been the nicer thing to do, but on the other hand who am I to play God and take a life? it is not my choice when something should die. So instead I tied it into the plastic bag and tossed it into the dumpster. Perhaps the poor creature will free itself from the trap and make its way into a safe dumpster haven. As unlikely as this is, I can hope. The only thing worse than the one still wriggling, was the small mouse that had to have only been a few days old. No larger than my thumb he stood stuck in the glue, ribs fluctuating with each panicked breath as my hand drew closer to pick up the tray. The saddest part of the whole experience was the fact that this small one began squeaking in terror, trying to escape. This was not something I would like to have to do again, although I do know that there is another glue trap in the back room.
Scary that this all happened by 7:00 am.
As the day progressed we had several, and by several I mean anywhere between 5 and 8 people woth arms bigger around than my head, come in to install our new proof box. How exciting. Lucky for me, my space was taken over and I had to relocate to a different table right in the way of every person that walked by with a huge piece of the metal box. Please note my sarcasm. We usually have seven or so people working at the same time in our bake shop, occasionally a dishwasher or another employee from a different part of the building will come in. Today we ended up with a total of 15 people in the room at once. Mind you, this bakeshop is not very large.
One of my co-workers then said "In a perfect world, we would be working at different times." Meaning the bakers and the men that were installing the proof box.
This then got me thinking "What is a perfect world?"
I pondered this thought for quite a while as I put danishes and cinnamon rolls on a tray.
I then finally come to the conclusion that we already live in a perfect world, everything is perfect as it is. This theory is still in the works, considering that I haven't had anyone to discuss this yet, but so far I can not think of a reason why this world is not perfect. Yes, I understand that each individual person is not perfect, but people as a whole are. But then you must break that down. Are only half of the people perfect? No, because no one is perfect. And if no one is perfect, then there is nothing above imperfect. We know nothing greater than imperfection. And if there is nothing greater than imperfection, then imperfection is indeed perfection. If there were anything that was indeed 100% perfect, that would then make something else obsolete. And obsoletion is imperfection. Imperfection is necessary for perfection. Again, I am still testing this theory and I welcome any criticisms and will answer or reply to them in later posts.

Monday, August 3, 2009

"I Lost My Bubsy AND My CoolSpot!"

That sounded dirty....

It becomes problematic when I forget or do not have time to update this for a few days. So many things happen that I need to write down, but when I comes time to do so, I usually can't remember what I intended to write about.

I've been working for about a month now and I really cannot express how miserable it really is. The actual work isn't terribly bad, I suppose, its just a really frustrating situation due to the people there, the way things are handled, things that take place in the building and my ever declining health.

When the job first began, it definitely seemed like waking up at 4 am would be the worst part, but it really isn't so bad at all. Given, I do sleep a little bit later than that, then rush my ass to work every morning, cutting what should be an hour or so long trip down to a 20-30 minute one.
It seems kind of like I'm getting more out of my day. I come home at 3:00, on a good day, and that was a full day of work. Yeah, it is rather boring after that, until Van comes home, but still.
Today, I have off, which is nice. Had off yesterday and got to spend the whole day with Van. We rented the new sonic game, Sonic Unleashed. The graphics are absolutely spectacular, but the game play is a little iffy. The characters are really hard to control, and when Sonic is in Werehog form, he doesn't go too quick. We've only played a few levels though, so I'm sure you can guess what Ill be doing today on my day off.
And laundry.
And eating food.
I hope my dice get here soon, too!
Anyhow, off I go to fight the evil Dr. Eggman!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I Wanna Take A Ride On Your What Now?

So the tattoo is go.
Come August 20th Ill be sitting in a chair getting a needle jabbed into my arm thousands of times.
And for this I am very excited.

oh how this will hurt!
The artist is really excited to work on this one, and really, who can blame him?
I decided on
Zombies Ate my Neighbors
Sonci and Knuckles
Earthworm Jim
and Battle Toads
as the definites.
Ecco the Dolphin, Xmen, Flicky and other ones will be fillers.
The song Poker Face has been stuck in my head for a few days now, and I don't think I've ever even heard it all the way through.
Speaking of modern musi, can I please quickly ask:
Van is nearly home so I shall be going.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Cut This Cake Into Pieces, I Work At A Resort

Finally got home at a reasonable hour today.
What a miracle.
But Im still really tired.
And need to buy groceries.
But, I went to the bank to cash my second check, and this is definitely a good thing, to be able to pay for gas, yes?

Lucky for me I did not burn anything today and I made some badass baklava.
Yeah, baklava.
Be badass.

And some self proclaimed fat 17 year old boy is trying to convince me to download msn so he can 'show me his pair"
Back the fuck off, son!

I hate the Internet.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Do Not Exist

My mind subconsciously feeds me song lyrics that are relevant to whichever situation I am in.
This is something that I just noticed today.

After waking up approximately five seconds ago.

I got a text from my mother, showing a picture of kids in robes and what not.
(you can guess where they were.)
Apparently she took my cousins to see Harry Potter at midnight.
As soon as I read this text I just got
"If you can keep a secret, I've got a blanket in the back seat on my mind"
REALLY WEIRD THING to be thinking when you get a text from your mom that is a picture of 12 year olds.
I then realized it was from the song Midnight Show by The Killers.

Strange how the almost-human mind works, isn't it?

We desperately need to go to the grocery store. Yes.

In a sweater poorly knit and an unsuspecting smile, little Moses drifts
downstream in the Nile. A fumbling reply, an awkward rigid laugh, I'm
carried helpless by my floating basket raft. Your flavor in my mind swings back
and forth between sweeter than any wine and bitter as mustard greens, light and
dark as honeydew and pumpernickel bread, the trap I set for you seems to have
caught my leg instead! As you plow some other field try and forget my
name, see what harvest yields, and, supposing
I'd do the same I planted rows of peas but by the first week of July
they should have come up to my knees but they were maybe ankle high. Take
the fingers from your flute to weave your colored yarns and boil down your fruit
to preserves in mason jars, but now the books are overdue and the goats are
underfed, the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead.
You're a door-without-a-key, a field-without-a-fence you made a holy fool of me
and I've thanked you ever since. If she comes circling back we'll end where
we'd begun like two pennies on the train track the train crushed into one.
Or if I'm a crown without a king, if I'm a broken open seed if I come without a
thing, then I come with all I need. No boat out in the blue, no place to
rest your head,the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Just Because.

Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?
Yes I have.

The last person you kissed romantically; was it a drunken or sober kiss?
Sober. Sleepily, but sober none the less.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Of course I do!

Do you prefer the ocean or pool?
Neither, I am afraid of both. But if I HAD to pick one...The pool. There's less stuff in there and I could just sit on the side and put my feet on the step.

What is in your backpack right now?
Its empty.
But I do have another one that is full of knives. :D

Hold hands with anyone last night?
Yes indeed I did!

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
That would be Vanny.

Have you ever been told that you were going to hell?
Every day. And I say "thats okay, because I know when I get there, all of my friends will be waiting for me with drinks saying "God! Its about fuckin time!"

Where were the last three places you went:
To do laundry, verizon store, mcdonalds.

Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own?

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before?
Yep. Understandably.

How many people have you liked in the past six months?

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yes I do.

Next time you will kiss someone?
About 7 o'clock tonight.

Who was the last person to make you smile?
Not sure, really.

Could you go a day without music?
Most likely not.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
I need to get more.

Are you wearing any jewelry?
Does a tongue-ring count?

What are you doing?
Waiting for laundry, playing on habbo, filling this out.

When was the last time you saw someone attractive?
This morning.

Does anyone love you?

Have you told anyone you love them today?
Of course!

Describe your current shirt.
Misfits tank top that I made.

Are you wearing pants right now?

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
For the most part.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

What do you have to do tomorrow? work work work work.

Can you honestly say you listen to all kinds of music?
Yes sir I do..

Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing?

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
Probably. I don't remember.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?

Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about?
Of course.

When did you first make out?
Like..last year. hahaha.

Where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other?
In the car or when I'm home alone cooking something.

What is your middle name?

How many languages can you say "Hello" in?
More than I care to count right now.

What's the last thing you watched on TV?
I honestly don't remember... we don't have a TV that plays television shows.

Could you go forever without smoking marijuana?
Yep. it would make me a fatty.

Do you like to cuddle?

Is their someone in your life you know you couldn't live without?
Oh yes.

Is there someone that you think about more that ten times a day?
More than 100 times a day.

Whats something that keeps you going when you feel like your falling apart?

Do you have a close relationship with your parents?
Some days.

If you want something bad enough do you believe it will happen?
you kind of have to make it happen.

Is there something that means more to you than anything in the world?
someTHING? I don't really know.

Are you more outgoing or shy?
Pretty damn outgoing, except for the first 15 minutes you know me.

Has someone ever hurt you so badly that you can't forgive them?
Oh yeah.

Have you ever liked someone you know you shouldn't?

If your parents knew all your secrets how disappointed would they be?
I really don't think they'd be all that surprised.

Are you more of a comfy dresser or do you dress to impress?
My job requires me to dress professionally. And I usually try to look half decent. It doesn't always happen though.

What are you thinking of right now?
I'm really not thinking at the moment.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as the same sex?

Why do you feel the way you feel?
Because I have a headache, the laundry is heavy, I spilled a plant all over the floor and I want Van to come home.

So, what if you married the last person you intimately kissed?
I must say that I would be very happy.

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
Billy or Garret

Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren't dating?
Yeah, not recently though.

Does the last person who had their arms around you mean something to you?
Only the world.

Who did you last hug?

Will tonight be a good night?

9 things people may not know about you:
1. I used to be able to spin plates.
2. I've only ever had one cavity.
3. One time I started crying in Texas Road House because the song "I've Got Friends In Low Places" came on.
4. I feel bad about the tin foil tiara.
5. I once told a deaf girl that she should "really listen to this song because its awesome." Didn't think that one through....
6. I used to do baton twirling.
7. Bubble Tea might be one of my favorite things.
8. I haven't intentionally worn matching socks since I was in 9th grade.
9. I really like soup.

8 ways to win my heart:
1. Do something 'just because'
2. Ask a lot of questions about anything.
3. Hold a conversation.
4. Be patient with me.
5. Don't try too hard to impress me.
6. Have a sense of humor.
7. Know things about me/remember things.
8. Be Van.

7 things that cross your mind a lot:
1. People I know.
2. Food.
3. Things I have done.
4. Things I have seen.
5. The Future.
6. Music.
7. Random thoughts.

6 things You Do Before You Fall asleep:
1. Change my clothes.
2. Set 4 alarms.
3. Jump into bed.
4. Steal all the pillows and blankets.
5. Make Van turn out the light because I'm afraid of the dark.
6. Curl up next to him.

5 things you notice in the opposite/same sex:
1. How
2. much
3. I
4. love
5. him?

4 things you want to do before you die:
1. Open a bakery.
2. See tons of bands live.
3. Get married.
4. live happily.

3 places you want to travel to:
1. Romania.
2. New Zealand.
3. Japan.

2 things you want to say to two different people:
1. I love you!

1 thing you hope to see before you die:
The world more clearly.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Teen Internet Suicide Volume 2

As many of you may already know, a few months ago a 13 year old girl committed suicide because of a fake myspace that one of her ex friends had made. This old friend had created a fake page, pretending to be a boy that was interested in her. This "boy" then told her that he didn't want to be friends with her because she wasn't nice to her friends, then started calling her things like a slut and fat. The girl took this to heart and ended her life.
The girl that made this fake myspace was assisted by her mother. So, basically, this woman helped her daughter bully another girl so badly she killed herself.
The news just said today that this mother has had her charges dropped and conviction removed.

I cannot explain how infuriating this is.

A full grown woman succumbed to middle school drama, created a fake myspace, and got another girl, her neighbor, killed.
If you look at their terms of service (which very few people do) it even talks about things like this.
"This Terms of Use Agreement...constitutes legally binding terms and applies to your use of the MySpace Services."

"The following are examples of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited to post on, through or in connection with the MySpace Services. MySpace reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in MySpace's sole discretion, violates this provision, including, without limitation, removing the offending Content from the MySpace Services, terminating the Membership of such violators and/or reporting such Content or activities to law enforcement authorities. Prohibited Content includes, but is not limited to, Content that, in the sole discretion of MySpace:

8.1 is patently offensive or promotes or otherwise incites racism, bigotry, hatred or physical harm of any kind against any group or individual;

8.2 harasses or advocates harassment of another person;...

...8.7 constitutes or promotes information that you know is false or misleading or promotes illegal activities or conduct that is abusive, threatening, obscene, defamatory or libelous;... "

Telling someone that they are worthless and that people hate them until they kill themselves should definitely be considered harassment.

You can read both of the articles, the one discribing her death, and the most recent one, by clicking on the links above.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Don't Touch This!

Lack of updates? Definitely.
Lack of sleep.
Of course.
For those of you that don't know, I have started my my externship at Mohonk Mountain House. Seems like a decent place for the most part, yeah?
Exception: being there by 6 am.
Meaning I need to wake up at 4 am.
Can I real quick get a "no bueno!"?
The hour-long car ride doesn't really help, though I have been making it there at exceptional times! Luckily this job hasn't been as bad as I thought and I only came home crying once. Also, I got to make food for Steven King, which is nothing to complain about, really. made some awesome cheesecakes, some blood orange curd tartlets, and quite a lot of other things over these passed few days. And today was my first day off. It was nice to get to sleep in and I am happy to know that I do force myself to wake up by 4:30 now, automatically, which means I am getting used to the schedule. Now if only I could get home at 3:30 like we originally planned, instead of 6:30 or 7:00 like I have been doing recently.
And speaking of the drive there, tomorrow Michele and I are going to get 2 for $3 Egg McMuffins. Hell. Yes. This is an exciting day for me.
We also had our training the other day and oh how I wish I could find the training videos they made us watch. One was about not touching other people's syringes or bloody razors if we happen to come across them while working. so pretty much the whole idea of the video was something along the lines of "Don't put your hands where you can't see them, or you will get AIDS".
Well, if I had a nickle!
Another video was on how not to hurt your back.
Awesome, thanks for telling me all of this now.
On a completely different note, I have found a recent obsession with an incredibly stupid website called Habbo Hotel. It's really lame and rather boring, but it is something to do when I'm just sitting around. It's pretty much like a really ghetto beta version of The Sims. To be perfectly honest, it really isn't even all that fun and to do anything cool you have to pay, which is something I am not willing to do to play a game online.
But I digress.
I finally got to sleep in today, my next day off isn't until next Sunday, so I am going to go look around for something to eat. I'm thinking...bagels.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


The empty hot chocolate mug is taunting me.
For some reason I have always been one to drink hot chocolate when it is really warm out and get cravings for ice cream in the winter. Never made a whole lot of sense.

Last update was the 20th, I see, quite a while ago that was!
Van took off of work for a week, so I felt no need to spend my time typing on a blog while he was here! my work starts tomorrow and in all honesty I do not look forward to this. The good news is I have to be there at 6, meaning I have to leave the house at 5 instead of at 4 like I had thought I would. Never is there a reason to complain about another hour of sleep.

yesterday we watch The Never Ending Story 2. Also known as "A Sad Attempt At Almost Trying To Make A Sequel But Failing Miserably"

I really don't think the same people even made it. The only actor that was the same, was the man that owned the book store. Even Falkor looked different and all of the character's voices were different people. It is quite evident that they did not even try.
We all know that the first movie consisted primarily of people screaming each other's names and that is about it, but of course it is a kid's movie from the 80's so one really couldn't ask much more than that.
Strange news though: there is rumor of a remake. This is indeed exciting.
Van and I decided that it will just be Alan Rickman as Falkor, in a dog suit, giving Shia LaBouf a piggy-back ride through the land of Fantasia, which I have decided is just a parking lot behind a Walmart with the streetlamps adorned with crepe-paper birthday streamers. The Nothing will be played by Johnny Depp and The Emptiness will be Helena Bonham Carter. Danny DiVito will be Morla, the giant turtle.
Sick. Sicksicksick.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Raise Your Hand If You've Ever

stuck your finger in your cat's mouth while it was yawning.

Friday, June 19, 2009

No Need To Read This One

Words cannot express the amount of sour that my mood is.
You may disregard that horribly constructed sentence.
The lack of happiness I am feeling at this moment is incredibly overwhelming, and because of this I am confused.
My bad day did nothing but get exponentially worse and now here I am sitting on a smelly couch in my living room with no desire to go to bed because I can't stop crying.
I would really like to bake some stupid cookies, but Stop N Shop and closed and I don't have baking soda or baking powder. Fuck this shit.
Goodnight. I wish I could vent.

Oven Mit Shark

Is an oven mit.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Star Blog.

There is a tremendous amount of constant rain as of now and I cannot help but think "I do not exist" thanks to The Messes of Me by mewithoutYou. A good song, for those of you who do not know. Today will be one of those lonely days, because I do not particularly want to be driving around in this weather.

Now I would like to talk about one of my most hated companies: Starbucks.
Anyone who knows me knows that I do hate Starbucks, but also that I drink the shit when I have the money to. It really is quite a shame and I wish it didn't have to be that way. I have gone on many quests and searches to find a cheap, local alternative for the place, but every local alternative turns out to be even more expensive. But then again, when I go and get something stupid like a "Vanilla Bean Frappuchino" I look at it and wonder why I didn't just go get a vanilla milkshake from McDonalds for $1.58. I really don't know.
But, moving right along, Starbucks has unleashed a series of mutant possessed zombie coffee grinders. Yes.

The Starbucks Barista Blade Grinders

Yes, that would be it. You can see, clearly, that is is obviously of some demonic decent. Also the fact that they tend to turn on by themselves and refuse to shut off, sometimes when people are cleaning them. Someone get the Ouija board, these things have got something to say! Perhaps they require a blood sacrifice.
Apparently most Starbucks customers do not know how to properly handle appliance possession, so Starbucks has recalled 530,000 of them. Silly, silly people.

And speaking of silly people, lets touch on the story of 56 Star girl.

Some 18 year old girl in Belgium went to get her face tattooed (Because THAT was a good idea in the first place....) and ended up with 56 stars tattooed on the side of her face. The artist said that she had told him 56, the girls claims to have fallen asleep during the tattooing.

From first hand experience, I would NOT fall asleep while getting a tattoo, ESPECIALLY one on my face. Also, why would the artist continue tattooing her when she was asleep if she only asked for 3? For sure he knew that he would get sued, and the only plus side to her have 56 stars is that he would be able to charge more, but when you get a tattoo, you pay half of the amount before you even go to your appointment, so I definitely call bullshit on this girl.

The artist said that she looked in the mirror several times while it was being done and said that she liked it, and that everything was fine until her father showed up. Now she is suing the tattoo company and getting most of them removed. Way to go.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Guess Who Won't Be Sleeping Tonight???

To anyone that doesn't know, if there is any one thing that I am absolutely terrified of, it's sharks. I am terrified of sharks and I would just as soon blow of my head with a shotgun than set foot in an ocean.
Due to a recent dream that I had, my mother felt the need to send me a facebook page called "Not being eaten by sharks"
I joined. Unfortunately there were pictures

You may click the picture to go to the website of the photographer.

And I hope to GOD that this is photoshopped. It definitely made me pee myself.

the second picture is indeed photoshopped.
Lucky, lucky bastards.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Harpo Productions

Due to someone missreading something I had written on facebook ("I am currently making fudge and listening to opera"), I came to wondering"If Oprah Winfrey recorded an album and was giving a record deal, how many people would buy it?"
The breakdown of buyers would have quite an interesting breakdown, imaginably.

I believe it would consist mainly of stay-at-home moms and 4-chan-ers.
But the 4 chan-ers would probably just download it anyway.

Please think about this for a few.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Sense There's Something In The Wind

To whom it may concern:
I hope my constant posting keeps you entertained in some way shape or form, on an almost-daily basis.
Regards, Skellyton

I need to bake something. A cake, most likely, but I do not have the funds nor the material to do so. At some point, I will think of something to bake. Until then, I shall twitch like a junkie going through withdrawal. Perhaps it isn't that bad, but I really would like something interesting and productive to do. I can only play so much Soul Calibur and do so much cleaning before I lose my mind. Today might be a good day to venture down to the little pond that is behind my apartment complex. Birds and other little creatures live there, but it is overcast today, so I don't know if they would be out or not. I've already had a handful of seeds thrown on me today. Ah well.

Currently I sit here, wrapped like an ancient mummy in heat-wrap bandages, snacking on a bottle of tylenol. Thankfully everything is doing better. Should be perfectly fine by tomorrow. Yay!

Now it seems to be time to find something to eat and perhaps sleep more to get rid of this silly headache. I honestly feel like a ragdoll somethings, I must say!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I have been playing Soul Calibur for so long that my television has stopped reminding me what time it is....
god damn fucked up neck.
Time for a nap soon, then time to pop MORE aspirin.

I Will Treat You Well

Out of all the people I subscribe to, I rarely have anything to read!!!!
I suppose most people don't have quite as much free time as I do or something. Ah well.
Off to drown myself in aspirin and Gatorade, then perhaps find something to eat!

Monday, June 8, 2009

I''m so punk I sit around on FACEBOOOOK!!!!!!

Made it back home safely. Everything is pretty good for the most part.
Iim currently sitting on my couch drinking a ton of yellow gatorade trying to get rid of a headache that has been hanging around since yesterday. Theres somethiing about this area and allergies, it seems like everyone has them.
I think we're starting a new RP, but I don't understand it yet.
Perhaps Ill think of something to do today until Van gets home.
I had a dream about the grocery store. It wasn't a very good one, but a person I used to know showed up in it. Very strange. Grocery store dreams are always very vivid to me.
Anyhow, I'm going to stop typing now, not because I have something better to do, but because I don't have anything else interesting to say!

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I miss my Vannerpuss!!!!!!!!!

Going home tomorrow morning. Got a gigantic bag of grapefruits and 9 mangoes! Woohoo! Along with some chicken and some eggs and some cheese and some veggies! Hooray for balanced meals!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Mullet With Headlights

Black and purple???

What The Effing Crap, That Angel Guy Just Felt Me Up...


I sat in my bed with my laptop, then went downstairs into the kitchen, only to go into the garage and into the car. From the car to Costco, where I left the line I was standing in for 15 minutes for a chicken bake. There were at least 5 little whirling dervishes running around as their parents told them to stop running, take things out of their mouths and keep their hands to themselves. I got in line for the chicken bake. My mother and I walked around Costco for and hour, picking up random things for me to take to the apartment. It was almost dinner time, so there were a lot of people. We exited the car. We drove from Homegoods to Costco. In Homegoods we found nothing that we needed. The movie got out at almost 5 oclock. It was a very good one. We stood in line at the movie theater for 5 minutes or so to see UP at 3:20. My favorite manager does not work there any more. We dropped my dad off at home. My salad was far too spicy. My parents and I went to Dominic's to get things too eat. From the house to the car. I was in my room on my laptop looking for upright basses. I filled out a questionnaire for the hospital I was at. I set my bag on the ground after I got in the house after the 4 hour car ride. We loaded the car with everything. Breakfast was great, my grandmother made thin pancakes. I woke up, didn't sleep to well. I was sleeping.

Love Demon, I Am.

Currently I am on a quest to find a perfect upright bass. Unfortunately I do not have the kind of money that I would need to purchase one, so I will be waiting on incredibly long time. For a while now I have wanted to play rockabilly style bass, but this is kind of out of reach considering that there are very few people that hold this similar interest. And honestly, what good is just a bassist? regardless, I have found the bass that I want, I am not sure of the price. Though I did look on the website, and the basic that I want is approximately 890 dollars. Perhaps a it more due to the paint job.


Though I doubt many readers here are interested in finding an upright bass, the website is here, just in case sad, upright bassists has stumbled upon my site.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Sticky Wicket

I am currently writing from my grandmother's house in Virginia. We just came back from my cousin's graduation and party. It was generally pretty nice.
It has been a very long day with a lot of driving. More driving tomorrow. Back to Philadelphia, perhaps going to go see a movie with my mother. On Saturday I will go to my friend Robby's graduation party, then go back home on Sunday. I could really got for some sleep so I think I will go within the next few minutes.
Actually, no, I'm going to go to bed now. I apologize for how bland this post was.

Whirling dervish.

Hopefully that made it less bland.

Also, I just did the spell check, and there were no misspellings found. Go me.
And I still think you need to get a facebook, Vanny.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Anorexia Verbosa

Click to embiggen

And this is HILARIOUS.

The Ultimate Nightbane

Hey, V, check this one out:

1. Cat head:
-Have the head of a cat
4d6 SDC, +1 Initiative, Horror +4

2. Doll-like features
-make small and cute
+6 PB, Size reduced by 17, Horror, +10

3. Flower child
-add tiny flowers, make it cute/sweet, more attractive, bugs wont attack
1D6 SDC, 1D6 MA, +7PB

4.Over-sized carnivorous mouth
-perfect for chomping
2D6 SDC, +1 Horror

5.No face
- a completely smooth surface, hides the mouth.
+4 Horror

-make it jelly-like
4D6 SDC +1 Horror

7. Plastic
-make the whole thing look plastic or rubber
5D6 SDC, +1 Horror

8. Unusual skin color
-completely white
+1 Horror

9.Misshapen facial features
-the cat eyes, perfectly round and black, the nose small and yellow
+3 Horror

10.Weapon hand
-just for the hell of it, two daggers (turns out you can change the hands into weapons at will,m so they can be normal hands at some point.)
+2 strike/perry, +2 Horror

Put that together and what do you have?!


I don't know how to do all the different calculations and what not. But I do know that she has a horror factor of 27.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Deja Vue Much?

I would not recommend reading this blog if you are planning on seeing the movie S. Darko.
Therefor, I suggest you read this blog, instead of watching such a horrid and monotonous flick.

Imagine this:
Take every event that happened in Donnie Darko, every little event, tweak it juuuuuuuuuust slightly, and make it...bad. A monstrous heap of shabby allusions

Burn down a building
Movie theater scene
Car wreck
Someone dies in a car wreck/gets hit by a car
Worm holes
Over-done fast motion cloud shots
Time travel, time travel, time travel
Giant bunny suit
"wake up."
Someone Sparrow
Count-down to the end of the world
Overly-Christian people

Its just one big, bad, reoccurring, poorly executed dream.
Take the acting, make it bad, take the "special effects" and make them worse.
And, of course, the main characters are total bitches.
If you liked Donnie Darko AT ALL, I highly suggest not watching this. If you've never seen Donnie Darko, still, don't watch it. Yes, it is that bad.
And if you go and watch the "making of", everyone involved even says that they were reluctant to do it, some cast members even said that they didn't want to be involved. They even KNEW that they should toy with such a thing. Too bad they didn't listen.

At least they didn't play Mad World...

Monday, June 1, 2009

Chips and Dip

My house currently smells of sage and ranch dip. Funny what all the different characters I know can bring to the table. Well. The coffee table.
Or, perhaps, the RP table.

The drama is ever ensuing as always. The continuous battles of people and their miscommunication, lack of loyalty, and pride that coils their ever bending spine.
Surely they must know that they are indeed weakening themselves with the useless, self absorbed pressure that they place upon their own shoulders. They must see this in one way or another, if not I can;t help but feel some kind of pity for them. Sympathy, no. With hands like shovels they did themselves into a pit, then soon a grave for their own esteem and honor, buried face to the ground.
Alas, off to RP and eat ranch dressing. I have not time for these petty issues.


Now that I have spent the passed few hours lookign aroudn on the internet, primarily Ebay for a nice dice set, I have found two. One set was 10 10d, black with red numbers, and the 1 is an Ankh. They're very nice. The other is a 7 dice set of several different kinds, I believe a d4, d6, d10, d12, d20, percent, and one more. I don't recall what though. They were Chessex Ice Blue Precision dice. Very cool.
As "cool" as polyhedronal dice can get...

While looking at the facebook, it really seems like all of the kids that are seniors this year at my old schoo do NOT want to go on the senior trip.
(Senior trip- a 3 day trip to the middle of bumfucknowherevirginia with no cell phone service where the seniors of the school or encouraged to bond and worship together whilest taking part in semi-widerness activities and jesustime.)
The majority of my class seemed to enjoy it, but if you couldn't already tell by my writings, gettin jesusy up in the highschool hood/wilderness is not number one on my list of favorite things to do in my free time.
It really does seem like the ones that are going this weekend seem to be dreading it more than anyone would imagine. I will have to investigate further to see what the matter could be.
Moving on.
I have one hour of tutoring left to go to before I take my exam tomorrow. I had best pass it this time. If not there will be some incredible problems. Let us hope for the best.
After my tutoring I will go pick up Van from work and then we will return back to our comfortable home and I shall sit in my "MWAHAHA!" chair.

Anyhow, i just got disracted by feeding a crow and now I may be late for tutoring. I shall return, blogworld.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

My Power Level Is Over 9000!

So it has been a long week with no internet. Little did we realize that someone in our building must have wireless, because, well, so do we now.
We have lived in our apartment for about one week now and have successfully gotten groceries, furniture, and all of our things.
I have made deviled eggs twice. I have also lost count of how much tea I have drank. Many cups. At least 4 just today.
I have watched quite a few movies too and rented four today.
We also just wrapped up RP night. Soon I will purchase my own D20's. and they will be devine.
I did just find a grat t-shirt at

Anyhow, off to watch a movie!

Saturday, May 23, 2009


Moving out today, for real. Just emptied my ENTIRE room and when Vanny gets back from work with take it all to our apartment. Woohoo!
Its been a long, tiring year and wow is it nice to know that I won't have to go to class every day for a little while. I find it exciting. Over the next few weeks I'll be moving all of my things into the apartment and setting it up so it's actually livable. Hooray!
Going back to Philly today, my Aunt and Uncle are there too, havent seen them in a year or so.
Anyhow, I havent really slept in a few days so Im going to go do that now.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Like A Fish.

Today it was discovered that things taste so much better when they are drunk from a mug.
A lack of cups caused this small theory to be tested and I found that it was proven true.
Water from a cup seems very bland, but, when it is a short ceramic cup with a handle, it is a delicious and flavorful beverage!
Although the above statement is not entirely truthful, I can say that drinking from a mug does make it more enjoyable. Same goes with chocolate milk and cranberry juice. I have not yet tried with anything carbonated or alcoholic. I do remember as a child drinking milk from a mug on occasion. But then again I also remember drinking soda from a sippy-cub when I was 16. perhaps I am degenerating?
The only reason why it would taste better is because it is in a smaller portion, therefor making it less boring and monotonous. Perhaps things taste even better from shot glasses? Though I do know that everything would taste better out of these shot glasses.
Anyhow. I still have at least 7 more 6 ounce glasses of water to drink today.

It all depends on the life being led & the quality of the pancakes.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

You Know You're A Total Fatass AND A Nerd When... use the light from your laptop's screen so you can open your Fruit-By-The-Foot can correctly identify each species of fish in your Sea Life gummies feel the need to say "phone home" whenever you eat Reese's Pieces eat Funyuns and Mountain Dew on a weekly basis understand the meaning behind Funyuns and Mountian Dew have fought TeddyGrams "to the pain" align your M&M's not only by color, but also in the shape of tetris blocks have written cryptic things in EasyCheese know the cake is a lie, but you eat it anyway also think the cake is great. So delicious and moist know that Sonic's favorite is chili dogs have made and devoured lambas bread will gladly eat elevensies. have used alphabet soup/cereal to write out CSS, Java, or HTML codes have used an old, no longer working CD-rom, DVD, or any other compact disc as a plate refer to your macaroni and cheese as a "series of tubes" don't mind if your caloric intake is "OVER NINE-THOUSAND" refer to eating as "chargin ur lazer!"
...youCANhascheezburger know D&D as two things. Dungeons and Dragons or Dunkin' Donuts

that is all for now. Live long and pasta.


I have 68 hours to have everything packed and be OUT of my dorm room. This isn't even funny.
We just got the news that there needs to be a deposit for electric. awesome.
I have 15 minutes before class. So much to do. Not nearly enough time for any of this. Thankfully we're finishing desserts today, tomorrow we get them all ready for grand buffet, which isn't too bad. Then on Friday we have graduation where we will be helping serve the food for the graduates.
And on top of this, I am getting an AWESOME ear infection.
Hopefully I'll actually have something positive to write about soon.
But. I will have pictures of the apartment to put up soon.
Maybe some pics of me and Van?
I don't know if I want all you creeps to know exactly what I look like.

(See, right here I would normally put a winking smiley face, but I hate using those in blogs.)
Anyway, gotta run.
Time to put the mirror glaze on some lemon lime curd & cream cheese mousse.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I'm leaving on a jetplane

All my bags are packed, Im ready to go...

I have an overwhelming amount of things that need to be safely boxed and taped before 10 am on Saturday.
What a clutter I have!
I have accumulated some of the must unusual bits and bobs over the passed year and I honestly don't know what to do with the majority of it!
Today i dug a pile of boxes out of the dumpster, proving yet again that I am indeed some kind of gypsy. There are currently 5 boxes and 4 suitcases full of random shenanery. (That would be the object form of shenanigans, since shenanigans seems to explain actions more than objects.)
I also found today that if I had wings they would be approximately 31 feet long. How heavy those would be!
Good day.

A Diva Is A Female Version Of A Hustla!

It's been a few days, hasn't it? Only 3 or so, but still, thats a lot, I think.
4 days until I leave for extern!
I am very excited to have a month off before I have to start working!
Van and I move in together this weekend. Thats exciting! And then back to Philly again.
There is so much to do and so little time. I need to pack everything desperately!!
I don't even know where to start at this point, I think I need some boxes to put everything in.
And my allergies are killin me!

I saw a ton of birds today, perching on railings as I walked by. I cant believe how many there are. its ridiculous.
Anyhow. Off to class or clean or something! SO MUCH TO DO!

Friday, May 15, 2009

I am slowly but surely hating this school more and more as time goes by. I would hate to think that I won't be returning after extern, but the more I think about it, the more likely it seems. This school has the worst system of all time and its really bothering me now. Im not going to sit here and rant for twenty minutes about how pissed off I am. Lets just say that culinary math is NOT my forte. I am so mad right now Im on the verge of puking.
I have delt with far too much shit this passed week and I cannot handle it. I have exactly 7 days left until I can get the fuck out of here and if this fucking costing bullshit holds me back, I'm bailing.
I honestly should have just stuck with acting.
I really should have.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

5 Fruity Flavors.

So I just ate a gummy Lifesaver with no hole in it.
Had it decided to get lodged in my throat
I would have died.
Thank you, Wrigley's, for making the only candy that is deadly when it is defective.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Put It In The Pantry With Your Cupcakes

Cover songs seem to be one of the best things I have ever discovered. Sometimes. You can either find really good covers, or really really bad covers. Rarely do you find one that is just okay. It is currently 8:43 PM and I am going to go get food at approximately 9:15. Between now and then I shall compose a list of cover songs. the good and the bad.

Good Covers

Boys Of Summer - The Ataris (Don Henley)
Astro Zombies - My Chemical Romance (Misfits)
My Sharona - The Number Twelve Looks Like You (The Knack)
Leaving On A Jetplane - MXPX (John Denver)
Mrs. Robinson - Pennywise (Simon And Garfunkle)
Come On Eileen - No Doubt (Dexy's Midnight Runners)
Ziggy Stardust - Bauhuas (David Bowie)
brown Eyed Girl - Reel Big Fish (Van Morrison)
Something - Radiohead (The Beatles)
Mad World - Gary Jules (Tears For Fears)
Mad World - Evergreen Terrace (Tears For Fears)
Zero - Evergreen Terrace (Smashing Pumpkins)
Video Killed The Radio Star - Amber Pacific (The Buggles)
Bring The Pain - Mindless Self Indulgence (Method Man)

Not So Good Covers

Landslide - The Dixie Chicks (Fleetwood Mac)
Leaving On A Jetplane - Jewel (John Denver)
Leaving On A Jetplane - Aerosmith (John Denver)
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me - Violent Femmes (Culture Club)
Nazi Punks Fuck Off - Napalm Death - (Dead Kennedys)
Uptown Girl - Weezer (Billy Joel)
White Wedding - Murderdolls (Billy Idol)
Paint It Black - The Black Dahlia Murder (The Rolling Stones)
Low - Brokencyde (Flo Rida)
I Will Survive - Cake (Gloria Gaynor)
Men In Black - Forever The Sickest Kids (Will Smith)
War Pigs - Faith No More (Black Sabbath)
Under The Bridge - Gym Class Heroes (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

And it's only 9:05, but I feel as though 13 of each is plenty. Maybe Ill put more some other time, why use em all up now.
But now, next time you're out looking for cover songs, there some you should get and some others you should avoid at all cost.
Unless of course you're Van, because I have a cover CD for you, so you don't need to download *COUGH* I mean, legally buy.... any of them.
THAT IS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

funny graphs
see more Funny Graphs

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Starwars kick? Yes.
Watched Fanboys yesterday, it was hilarious.

Last class.
8 days left.
Last class.
Bad class.
Fuck class.
Good class.
Big problems.

Dear Darth Vader,
I am writing to inform you that you are not my father.

As much as you would like to believe that you are, I must tell you the truth.
As much as you would like to think that you have some authority over me, you do not.
Even if you did, I do not believe in authority, regardless.
I have been trained by multiple Sith lords and Emperors. The same ones that trained you, as a matter of fact.
It would be greatly appreciated, Lord Vader, if you would please cease to attempt teaching me the ways of the Jedi when you, Sir, are of the dark side. I know my ways far better than you do. We are equally matched in art of wielding light sabers, so please keep your technique under your mask and I shall do the same.
Please, do not try to re-teach me my fortes, I am capable of doing so myself. Your haughty attitude and "prestigious" mindset impress no one but yourself. Had you not been blowing the Sith Lords they would have no use for you. Please refrain from speaking to me again, for you are of no use to me.
(Not) Yours Truely,
Skellyton Skywalker
PS- You should do something about that Asthma.

Monday, May 11, 2009


What a weekend.
I feel like my Monday posts are usually started that way.
This is a good thing. Good weekends = good things.
We learned (again) that my navigational skills are that of a bat with no sonar.
After about an hour or so of delay, we made it home at almost 2 oclock to a slightly confused, but pleasantly surprised mother.
Van go to discover the wonders of Wegmans and how awesome Wawa is and the glory that is Yumyum's donuts.
Hell yes.
My grandparents and my neighbors came over for desserts and got to meet Van too.
That all turned out very well.
This makes me happy.
Good weekend.

Now I am curled up in the fetal position crying because my cramps are so bad I can't walk. Awesome.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Gatorade and Naps.

I'm running out of things to read and need to find more blogs to subscribe too. perhaps I will search more on that later. Perhaps not. Currently, (not so currently) I am writing a paper on cardamom, saffron, and vanilla. Not the most exciting of things, but at least its not the industrial revolution. It really is a bummer that I don't have microsoft word on my computer. Life would be so much easier if I did. Alas. Back to the spices.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

-Salvador Dali

2 weeks from Friday I will be out of here. How exciting is this? VERY! I cannot wait. I've been living in a dorm room for far too long.

Yesterday my roommate and I discovered that you can change your language on Facebook to "Pirate". Its pretty funny, really, but gets kinds of hard to read and understand after a while. Requires a bit too much thinking for just looking on Facebook.

Salvador Dali's birthday is this Monday.

WHY IS ROBERT PATTINSON PLAYING DALI IN AN UPCOMING MOVIE?! This... is painful. It truly is. The guy that plays a dead wizard and a shitty vampire is casted to play one of the greatest artists of all time? Salvador deserves much better than this.

Little Ashes

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

It Has Returned one of the funniest websites of all time.

I just spent a few hours sitting here and coding all of this stuff for the new layout. It really isnt all that different, when it comes to the actual style, but all the colors and what not have changed. I haven;t dug into HTML and CSS in quite a while. (This is CSS, in case anyone was wondering.) I definitely get into this mode where nothing else really exists and there is nothing but numbers and letters and symbols. I can honestly sit here and stare at a screen for hours, just tweaking things around. It is a horrid addiction. I probably should have gone to school to be a web designer or something. I'm not horrible at it, really, and I certainly miss all the coding and what not. It is good stuff.
This is my 105th post.
I really did not think I would be using this site so much, but I am glad that I do. It gives me a way to vent or just say little things that may or may not matter to anyone else. Anyone could stumble upon this at any time and they may really enjoy reading these odd little quips that show up here and there.
I do apologize for the lack of interesting things. It really seemed to have gone better in the beginning, and now it just seems to be a day to day of my life, which no one is all that interested in hearing about. Such silly little things. A good one shows up every now any then.


Found a fun website

Have fun with that one.

And take note of the new little clickies at the bottom of this blog.
I believe they say "cool" "funny" and "interesting"
feel free to clicky.

I'm Captain Brasch From Dalmasca!!

I like the YouTube.
Discovered Mega64 a while ago and just found more of their stuff. The first I saw was Assassin's Creed, then Parappa. I really wish they would do Deadspace, Soul Caliber, Sonic, or something more recognizable.

Must do some day

Don't listen to Ondor's lies!

eating Sandwiches, yum, yum, yum!


I would first-off like to give a big "FUCK YOU!" to the Culinary Institute Of America.
At the beginning of every 3 weeks we have to print out a course guide, recipes, indexes, powerpoints, and other various sheets. Today I used approximately one third of a package of paper to print everything. Though, strangely, I should have used a good one and a half. After printing a stack of papers about 1/2 thick, I realized how much paper I saved by printing FOUR PAGES PER SHEET. Meaning I should have FOUR TIMES THE AMOUNT I JUST PRINTED. That would be about the size of a phone book.
Honestly. Do you think that just because we can 'afford' to go to school here that we also have money pouring out of our asses and we can just spend it on anything, like enough ink to black out the Amazon or enough paper to create full scale model's of the pyramids?
Uh, no.

And the sad thing is, we don't even use all of them. Half the we don't used a good amount of the things we print. And this is incredibly frustrating. With all the money we pay to go here, couldn't they at least give us a handbook or something? Even if we have to return it after each class? Because this is getting ridiculous. My printer was just RAPED by the amount of work it just had to do.

Bad. day.

I have a hangover and I didn't even drink last night.

fuck this shit.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Bitches Love Me 'Cause They Know That I Can Rock.

What an awesome weekend, really!
It started out rocky, because of my practical. I definitely did NOT do as well as I hoped. Applestrip is not my forte, apparently, but I did know that ahead of time. It's amazing what nerves can do to you.
I don't have a picture of what it's supposed to look like, but I do have a picture that shows what it did look like.

Jabba no like-a apple strip! Jee panwa waffmula chone patogga che lickmoomoo!

But then after class Van and I went to the movies and saw Wolverine.
Can I mention...the awesome?
It was pretty good. not my favorite of all of them, but it was really good none the less.
Deadpool was in it, so that just made it awesome. And Gambit.

We then came home, slept, woke up the next morning and lazed around for a bit, which is always really nice. The weather has been great.
Theeeeeeennnn we went to the Melting Pot. Aaaaahhhhh. Delicious. More food that we even knew what to do with. It was an incredibly nice night. And I definitely brought one of the fondue forks home.

And that's only 1/3 of it. talk about being a fat kid! Mmmmm.

We hardly made it home on such full stomachs. We definitely learned how contagious yawning really is.

Sunday was rainy, so no baseball, but we did have RP night and made food and kicked vampire ass.

I just went back and read what I wrote.
Starwars (mentioning Jabba the Hutt, and Huttese)
XMen (mentioning several of the characters)
RPing (self explanatory)
I am the biggest nerd on the face of the planet.
But I digress.
I will spend most of the day packing up my dorm, since I am leaving in 3 weeks. it's about time that I start putting things in boxes and bags so it's not a complete disaster being put off until the last possible second. So I'll get a lot of my clothing packed up.
I'm really excited for my next class.
I finished cakes (just barely!)
and I am now going into Individual Production Pastries. My favorite!
it should be an awesome class.
Now, for something completely out there and incoherent. I only know of one, maybe 2 people that will understand this. Van and I talked a little bit about it yesterday, I believe.
I really wish people could know certain things about me. I really can't say or explain what they are, for my own safety and sanity, but lets call it an illness.
I really wish that the people I associate with, work with or come in contact with could see that I have this illness. It would help them understand why I act the way I do, do the things I do, say what I say. They would be able to understand my actions, everything would make so much more sense. it would be exponentially helpful to both myself and people around me, but it's really not that easy. Van made the point of saying that if everyone could see that I was this way, that would just give them one more thing to latch on to and pick apart. And this is true, but i would have to wonder if it would be worth it. It would almost be like wearing a medical ID bracelet that said I was bipolar, or something similar. People would understand why I act the way I do, but on the other hand it would be more likely that they would treat me differently, perhaps negatively, because they knew that about me.
But, they would understand little things like why I don't speak to people when I'm angry, why I act incredibly nonchalant when something goes wrong and why it seems like I don't care about anything. Why I paint, why I write, why I play music when something in wrong. Why I don't talk about my problems, ever. I know it upsets people on occasion when I don't tell them why I am upset or what is bothering me. It just goes with that. It goes with my nature, and it goes with my, for lack of a better term, "illness". If I could get rid of it, sometimes I think I would. But I have a feeling that someday I may need it for something. We'll see.


Friday, May 1, 2009

Post 101

This here is my 101st blog post.
Not too shabby for only having this since November.

Good news: got my extern, fer sure. training agreement and everything.
SO, come July 1st, I will be working at Mohonk Mountain House.
Only 30 minutes away from here.
Exciting, no?
It should be awesome.

Now it's time for some



Thursday, April 30, 2009


Its official. We are all going to die.
It's over. Its over. Its the end.
The apocolypes is here.
Z-day is en rout
we have met
the end.


The virus strain is mutating into something more dangerous.

Zombie aporkalypse, here we come.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I refuse to wear pants

I refuse to wear pants today.
The end.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

Awesome luck yesterday. I think not.
Within the first 30 minutes of class I managed to hit the floor. Campus safety took me to the hospital, which was, as usual, a miserable experience.
The doctors, after forgetting about me again, told me that I had passed out for absolutely no reason what so ever. Then sent me back to school after being in a hospital bed for 3+ hours. Quite a large amount of SUCK that was. So much for making carrot cake.
I don't even know what happened. I remember mumbling that I didn't feel too good, getting tunnel vision, then having some really weird dream that I think actually was about carrots. Next thing I know, I wake up and there are people standing around me, the school nurse was already there. First thing she says: "You're really pale."
First thing I say: "Can I have that bucket?" then "Mom's gonna say I have swine flu..."
But lets rewind real quick.
"You're really pale."



"Your heart rate is very low..."


Random people from the class: "Your eyes stayed open when you went down..."

Maybe I'm a fish.

Took me to the doctor, they covered me in wires and stickers, kept asking me if I wanted a blanket (because there was no POSSIBLE way I could have passed out from heat?) and 2 hours later asked if I was dehydrated and needed to be hooked up to fluids.
Awesome. Way to go St. Francis.

So then I went back to school and ate some chicken tenders.

On the walk back from my dorm there was this HUGE hawk eating baby birds out of a nest. I wish I had a better camera to take a picture with, but all I had was my phone. Oh well.

Not bad for a camera phone.

But I swear, that bird was STARING ME DOWN.
I was going to be his next snack.