Ling Ling, my ass!

As humans, many of us work hard to keep our environment clean, healthy and alive.
We have National Parks, reservations, endangered wildlife funds and various research projects all to make sure that our planet will last forever.

At a very young age, we are told that we should respect the environment. You know, "don't litter", "conserve water" and of course "recycle".

We are also told that every being on the planet has its own special use. Every organism plays its own unique role in the environment and that all of it should be protected and saved.


Well I beg to differ, because I have found an exception:

Pandas.

Fucking pandas.

Those smarmy, self righteous bastards.

Of all creatures on this earth, pandas are the ones that serve no use to the ecosystem.

They do not produce anything useful (except for shit, which can apparently be made into souvenirs...), they don't serve as prey for anything and they don't keep any kind of population in check.

Bamboo population? Yeah right. That shit grows faster than mold on a week old burrito. Pandas or not bamboo is going to flourish. There is so much bamboo and so few pandas that they don't even count.

Pandas. Serve. No. Use.

On top of being useless, they're little bitches, too.

Everyone thinks they're so cute and cuddly,

THEY'RE FUCKING BEARS, PEOPLE!

Do you not realize this?

There is no difference between

and

They're both bears, they're both huge and they both want to tear your limbs off.

Just because they look like fat mimes doesn't mean they're friendly. Or in an invisible box.

Below is a video of a lucky man.

Long story short; fuck pandas.

Hear Ye, Hear ye!

Yesterday was a wonderful day.

Van and I spend the afternoon at the New York Renaissance Faire.

It was a LOT of fun!

Getting there was a horrible hastle. Aside from not being able to properly read a GPS, the god-awful parking situation, and the less-than-accomodating staff, everything was very well put together.

It took us at least 30 minutes to figure out where to go. Turns out that you had to take a bus from the parking lot, to the fair. Then wander around there for 20 minutes while the staff stared blankly at you, desprite your confusion. Only to find out that you have to cross the street to get to it. Simple enough, right?

But, after going through all of that, it was wonderful.

So many colors and characters. Booths and tends and stalls of all kinds of interesting things.

Delicious food and pretty clothing.

V got me some lovely flowers and a turkey leg. Everyone knows that is the way to a girl's heart.

Plants and meat.

One of the coolest things we did, was see the birds of prey show. Enormous creatures, some of them. Owls and condors and hawks and vultures. It was really very cool.

All in all it was really cool. We're definitely going back next year.

The end.

Because I'm A Heartless, Sarcastic Bitch

Another list.

I used to say that I thought I was a rather patient person. As my life goes on and I encounter more people, this theory seems to change a little bit. Perhaps morals are just different from what they used to be. Maybe people have just stopped caring. Who knows. I certainly don't. There are a lot of things that I see kids (and adults, for that matter) doing that I know for sure I would have gotten in HUGE trouble for if I did.
Not to say that my parents were strict, because they definitely were not; they just brought me up to generally be polite, courteous and have manners. I must say that for this I am thankful.

Sadly though, I see how people act these days and it sickens me. I don't mean to be "hoity-toity" or stuck up, but at the rate our race is going, we're about to drive ourselves into the ground.

So, now, it is time for another list!


SKELLYTON'S SOCIAL PET PEEVES 1. Playing music off of your cellphone in public.Whether you're sitting on the bus, walking through the mall or eating at a restaurant, you should NOT have your cellphone out playing your shit-quality MP3's for everyone to hear. Use some headphones. I don't want to know your "Top 10 favorite songs this week" while I am trying to enjoy me meal.I once had a couple come in to Ruby Tuesday's while Van and I were eating, sit down at the table across from us and play music through their cellphone throughout their entire meal. Should I have said something? Probably. Would it have made a difference? No. Why? They were friends with the waiter. Go figure. 2. Take up two parking spaces, because your car is "the shit".There is no need for you to double park your shit. If you do this intentionally, you are a pompous asshole. If you do this accidentally, you are a 16 year old girl that just got her license.Another time, while at the mall, Van and I encountered another bout of douchebaggery. It was a Saturday afternoon and the parking lots were almost all full at the movie theater. It took us at least 15 minutes to find a space, when finally, low and behold, there was one! We begin to pull our car up only to see that someone had very intentionally parked on the line. This irked me horribly. If you are worried about your car getting scratched or bumped, don't take it to the mall. Don't take it to the movie theater at the mall. Don't take it to the movie theater at the mall on the Saturday afternoon. And lastly, don't take it to the movie theater at the mall on Saturday afternoon in POUGHKEEPSIE NEW YORK. I hastily wrote a note that said "You;re car isn't THAT nice, asshole" stuck it on their windshield, then went and enjoyed my film. The end. 3. Pure and simple lazinessLaziness within reason, I can handle. Being so lazy that you cause more strain for someone else, I cannot. Laziness and ignorance go hand and hand, to me.Guess where I was for this one? Yep! THE MALL! Though, this time I was working. Sadly, this happens on a somewhat regular basis. A customer comes in, hustling like their ass in on fire, and comes up to me. They do not say "hi", they do not say "excuse me". The first thing out of their mouth is "I need 'x'". Now, 'x', is usually a CD of sorts. Let's say its The Rolling Stones.
"I need The Rolling Stones."
Usually in this situation, I would like to reply "No. You don't. You WANT the Rolling Stones. You don't need shit." But I don't. I don't say it. Usually, to be honest, I say "okay.""You'll be able to find it a lot faster than I will, I don't have a lot of time.""Its under "R" for "Rolling". All of our CDs go alphabetically.""Where is that?""Under "R". Comes after "Q" and before "S".""You need to show me."Jesusfuckingchristmaythisearthburnbeforemeandsufferonethousandfierydeaths.At this point, I stop whatever I am doing, walk over to the very predominantly labeled "R" section and point to the 4 to 5 rows of Rolling Stones CDs we have."Which one is the latest?""I don't know...here..."I then pick up a CD and look at the date on the back, explaining that CDs have a date on the back. I hand them the one that says "2010""Is this the latest one?""Yes. Its from 2010."They then walk away without a word. Apparently working in retail makes you sub human.

This post is getting far to long, so perhaps I will continue my list later on.

The Delicious Ice Cream Adventure (Ice Creams of Chincoteague)

Believe it or not, Van and I went to the beach last weekend. Yes, I know, surprising and comical all at the same time.
Luckily though, we did not go to the actual beach part of the beach. Meaning...the water and sand.
Instead we stayed on the nice little island and wandered about eating delicious food.
And that is exactly what I am here to talk about.

As much as I don't want millions of people flocking to Chincoteague, I feel as though it is a place deserving of millions of people.

It is a tiny, tiny little island in Virgina, and I must say that it is wonderful. Though, I kind of wish I could keep it a little secret because lets face it, the place isn;t what it used to be.

Back in the day, when I was little, it was the ultimate place to go for vacation.
There was the beach, a wildlife reserve, a few places to play mini golf, places to fish, a park, a carnival and some awesome restaurants. I could probably name most every store there from memory.

Granted, it still has all of those same things, but now theres even....more...
Everywhere you turn there is a souvenir or Tshirt shop. They've installed a Dairy Queen and a McDonald's. Its gotten a bit out of hand. But it still is a great place.

All of this aside, the main reason I was writing this, is to talk about the ice cream.
Delicious, delicious ice cream.
Ice cream.


First and for most, there is the Island Creamery.



My personal favorite.
Everything there is homemade, the ice cream, the fudge, even the waffle cones.
They always have a wonderful assortment of flavors. Birthday cake might be my favorite.

Van and I went there first. It was our first ice cream experience on the island.
I got my Birthday Cake icrecream on a cake cone, and Van got their variation of a Blizzard. Pony-tracks ice cream (vanilla ice cream, fudge swirl, peanut butter cups), with Reese's pieces and hot fudge all blended in a cup.

We had a very delicate rating system for each ice cream shop. Basically it went something like this:

Service:
Taste:
Originality:
Value:
Experience:

Yes, I realise that spells STOVE....
The rating goes from 1-10.

So, lets take a look at the Island Creamery.

Service: 9
The Island Creamery is always busy. Busy busy busy, with the lines out the door. But, they always move very quickly. Its actually rather impressive. On top of that, they're so friendly! Its great.
Only thing that is keeping them from getting a 10, is the fact that they had an employee there with piercings in her face. As much as I like piercings, I don't like them around my food. Other than that though, flawless.

Taste:9.5
Delicious. Simply wonderful ice cream. That's all there is to say. Its homemade, its tasty.

Originality: 7
They get points because its homemade and they have some ridiculous flavor es (margarita and cantaloupe?)
But, its really just an oddly large ice cream shop. No gimmicks or anything. They don't sing or mix your ice cream for you, but they really don't need to.
Though, I will mention that they do have a thing called the Round Up. 5 scoops of ice cream, 3 toppings, whipped cream and a cherry. If you eat it all, you get your picture taken. Cool enough.

Value: 9
Excellent. I believe that between the two of us, it cost around 8 dollars. I got a single scoop cone (but the scoops are so huge its like a double) and Van got a Blizzard..or something similar. We were stuffed by the end.

Experience: 7
Its cool to see them making the waffle cones there, to browse through their gift shop and to pick out your treats, but there isn;t any unique feel to the shop. Its Chincoteagues primary ice cream store, and that is really what they have going for them.

Over all : 8.3


Next place we went was called Muller's




Muller's was a very small ice cream shop that was set up on the first floor of a house. I assume that the owners live above it. I believe that most of their ice cream is homemade.

Service: 7.5
The staff is extremely friendly and talkative, which is always refreshing.
The only downside it had though, was it took a bit too long to get our food. They seemed to be disorganized, especially when it came to serving multiple customers.

Taste:9.7
Van and I both got root beer floats.
I must say that it was by far the best root beer float I have ever had in my life.
As far as the ice cream goes, I can't really say, as I only had vanilla floating in the most excellent root beer I've stumbled upon. But as I said, this was by far the most amazing float ever.

Originality: 9
The whole house was very quaint and almost Victorian looking. It had a really old-timey feel. Not like 50's old-timey, but even more so. It was wonderful.

Value: 8
Offhand, I can't remember how much we payed. I would be willing to pay 10 dollars for one of those floats though. I'm pretty sure it was under 12 for the both of us though.

Experience: 8
As soon as you walk in the door, you see all of the different things you can try. From peach and waffle sun days to a malted milkshake. They have such a selection and its such a nice little house. It was really great.

Over all: 8.4




After Muller's we went to Build Your Own Cookie



After playing a competitive round of mini golf in 97 degree weather, we decided...well...I decided that ice cream was a must. The closest to the golf course was BYOC, or Build Your Own Cookie.
Seemed interesting enough!

BYOC is literally a horse-trailer with 2 tables outside. The tables were both made out of stacked up 10 gallon buckets, a table top and an umbrella. You walked up to the window and picked the following
1 cookie, 1 ice cream flavor and 1 topping (more cost more.) You then got your treats, then stood at the tables. This is fairly normal for Chincoteague, as several places are stand-outside style.


Service:10
This is the one place that I will give a 10/10 for service. This lady did it right! She was very friendly when we got there and ordered, she was very quick also.
Then, while Van and I were outside eating, she came outside with two cups of ice water for us. She mentioned that eating these always made her thirsty. It was very nice of her. I was extremely impressed.

Taste: 7
The cookies were enormous and delicious, they were also homemade. That is the only reason I am giving this score a 7 instead of a 5. The ice cream was just Hershey's ice cream, which was disappointing, since you can get wonderful homemade ice cream almost anywhere on the island.

Originality: 8.5
Cookie sundaes? Awesome. I've never done that before. There is definitely nothing else like it on the island.

Value: 6
It cost us over 10 dollars for two sundaes. They were good,yes. The cookies were homemade, yes. But the ice cream was not. I could buy 2 cartons of ice cream and 3 boxes of cookies for that price.

Experience: 7.5
It was really fun standing outside eating ice cream. The staff was friendly and the cookies were great. It was perfect after that oh so strenuous mini golf.


Total: 7.8


Lastly we have the famous Mr. Whippy. Mr Whippy (aside from Dairy Queen) is the primary source for soft-serve ice cream.



Service: 5
Typical teenager working their summer job. I was certainly not impressed. Considering their large menu, they were not very patient while we were deciding our orders.

Taste: 8
I really enjoy soft serve ice cream. Mr Whippy is by far my favorite place for it. Sure, its not the most exciting thing ever, but it is still good. I got a vanilla cone dipped in cotton candy shell. It was pretty good, I must say. Van got an Oreo sundae. He seemed to also enjoy his.

Originality: 8
The over-all feel of the shop is very lodge-like. They have interesting toppings and flavors, cute names for their menu items, and their own ice cream truck.

Value: 8
Mr. Whippy is both yummy and inexpensive. It was under 10 dollars for both of us, and we got large portions.

Experience: 8
Aside from the service, the overall experience was good. It isn't as unique as an old fashioned ice cream shop, or standing outside to eat, but in general it is a good experience. The store was clean and the service was fast.

Over all: 7.4




In the end, I would have to say that The Island Creamery is my favorite for just good ol ice cream. They would be my number one pick each time. Fast service, awesome ice cream and a nice shop. But, if you're looking for the best root beer float in town, Muller's is the way to go!

Surprisingly Uncool

Today I would like to bring a sense of enlightenment to the seemingly very confused world. Perhaps its just Poughkeepsie that suffers from these horrible phenomenons, but just in case it is the rest of the world too, I will continue on.
Here I would like to remind people that just because you think something is cool, doesn't mean that it actually is.
Now, I by no means claim to be a cool person. I mean, honestly, I write a blog for Christ's sake. But still, there are some people out there that need to get a grasp on what is or is not socially acceptable. So, today I bring you:

THINGS PEOPLE THINK ARE COOL

1. Car-balls

I don't understand what makes these cool or funny. They're stupid and disgusting, plane and simple. Do you not have any of your own, so you feel the need to tack a set of fake junk onto your bumper? Come on, guys. Give it up. Neuter your pets. The last thing we need is a bunch of stray Hummers running around.

2. Tacky-ass Ghetto nails.

No matter what your occupation, if you have nails that are more than an inch long, you instantly look like you run the cash register at the local 7-11. And I am instantly going to assume that you're going to sell me a Slurpee. Wild Cherry, bitch.

3. Douche-Beard

Although it sounds like you might be a bad-ass pirate, actually HAVING a douche-beard simply makes you an ass. If you spent half as much time learning proper English as you did carving hieroglyphics into your head, you would be a much more respectable human being. Instead you look like you just allowed a lawn-mower to take creative freedom of your face.

4. Tribal Tattoos

Unless you're a Maori or fucking Tony the Tiger, you need to stay away from the tribal ink. You either look like a wrestler, or look like a frat boy. Neither of which are respectable personas for the day-to-day civilian. There is nothing else like having solid splotches of meaningless black ink over your body to say "I think I'm a bad-ass, so does my orange-tan girlfriend!" They're gggggggrrreat!

5. Plymouth Prowlers

A wedge of cheese on wheels. Enough said.



6. Keytars
Perfect for the kid whose mom made them practice hours of piano everyday before they could watch t.v. We all know that all you wanted to do was join a rock band. Just like we all know you will always be a total dweeb for the rest of your life. Keytar = significantly uncool.


7. 3-wheeled motorcycles

Too bad-ass for a 4-wheeler, too chicken for a chopper. Looking for the perfect balance? You didn't find it. Move along. You're a tool. Tack a side-car onto it and you'll be the whole hardware store.

PANEER PAKORA!

I'm currently in Philly, getting ready to go to sleep. Tomorrow we leave the house wicked early to go back up to New York.
Its cruise time!
Off to the Bahamas I will go.
Unfortunately there will be no way for me to update while I am gone, as it costs a WICKED crazy amount to use the Internet on cruise ships. So any updates will have to wait until I return.
Anyhow, the real reason I came on here was to rave about an Indian restaurant that just opened up around my parent's house. Its called Aman's and its in North Wales, PA.
It was wonderful.
I got a Boti Kabab, which was cooked lamb. Came with bosmati rice. Also tried one of their vegetable samosas.
But, what really impressed me was this;
My favorite Indian dish is paneer pakora. I love it. It is delicious. I could eat it all day long.
For those of you who don't know what it is, its basically fried cheese with a curry sauce on the inside. So, so good. Now, I;ve been to several Indian restaurants, and I have yet to find it anywhere. I'm not sure if its a regional thing, if its an Americanized dish, or if its just uncommon.
There was a place I used to go to called Greater India, and honestly, it was some of the best food I've ever had. But the owner was not very nice, so we stopped going there about three years ago. Since then, I have been on a quest to find delicious paneer pakora, and sadly, I have not found it.
Until today.
Whilst looking on the menu, I did not see it anywhere, and I was immediately saddened, but, considering that its a brand new restaurant, not even a week old, I asked the waiter if they by any chance made it, but it wasn't on the menu.
He said no, but he was then kind enough to go ask the chef, just in case.
And, the chef, was kind enough to make it for us anyway, even though they don't sever it there!
It was very surprising and very nice. I was incredibly impressed.
So, I figured I would write a nice little review, just in case anyone in the Buck's county area is looking for a great Indian restaurant. I highly recommend Aman's. And who knows, maybe you will see me there, because I will definitely be going back again!

We Travel Like Gypsies but With Worse Luck and Far Less Gold

For some reason yesterday, I felt the overwhelming desire to move to Montana.
There doesn't seem to be much out there, it is definitely less expensive, and its a ten hour drive to get to Seattle, making it an even shorter flight. All in all it seems like a great idea. More peaceful than New York, and also the first place I'll live that doesn't have a ridiculous crime-rate.





Can't be all that bad, right?

I Pose A Theory.

Today I had a horrifying experience.
As a Pagan and an ex-vegan, I still feel the need to treat nature well and with respect, regardless of the situation, but unfortunately work today seemed to focus mainly on the demise of small animals.
Working in a bakery, it is only natural to have mice show up now and again. To me, I figure as long as they aren't getting into the food and making a mess, it should be okay. Unfortunately, the entire reason mice go to places in the first place is so that they can get into the food and consequently, make a mess. Therefor the mice had to go. The proper way to handle this kind of situation would have been to order enclosed traps and relocate the mice to a nearby field, which we have plenty of. I do understand that there are 1. too many mice, and 2. not enough time to do this. So, in the end this means that they must be killed. As much as I don't like the idea of this, it is understood. Personally, I have no problem disposing of a dead mouse. To be honest, I am a little bit afraid of the living ones since I got bit by one as a kid. Though a dead one doesn't bother me. Since this is the case, I was elected head of Mouse Disposal Crew. Actually, I was the only member of mouse disposal crew, due to the fact that we have other things to do other than play with dead mice, and also that they had to be quickly removed since they were decaying and the whole place smelled horribly of dead rodent. Sad to say, I can identify the smell of dead rodent very well.
Moving right along.
As I go to dispose of what I thought would be one or two dead mice in snap traps, I find that my employers have decided to use the least humane form of trap possible: a glue trap. And little did I know that there were not one or two mice, but seven. Two of which were still a alive and stuck in the little gooey trays.
As previously mentioned, it was a horrifying experience to see the small creature staring up at me with its shining, beaded eyes, with it's nose and feet stuck in a thick layer of gel. It immediately began squirming and tugging in fear as I approached. Feeling there was no kind of polite way to dispose of it, I placed a paper towel over the entire tray, covering both the living mouse and the couple dead ones that lay stuck next to it. At this point I was unsure of what to do. Do I put it in the plastic bag and let it suffocate slowly? Do I quickly end it's life by stepping on it? I felt that the second would have been the nicer thing to do, but on the other hand who am I to play God and take a life? it is not my choice when something should die. So instead I tied it into the plastic bag and tossed it into the dumpster. Perhaps the poor creature will free itself from the trap and make its way into a safe dumpster haven. As unlikely as this is, I can hope. The only thing worse than the one still wriggling, was the small mouse that had to have only been a few days old. No larger than my thumb he stood stuck in the glue, ribs fluctuating with each panicked breath as my hand drew closer to pick up the tray. The saddest part of the whole experience was the fact that this small one began squeaking in terror, trying to escape. This was not something I would like to have to do again, although I do know that there is another glue trap in the back room.
Scary that this all happened by 7:00 am.
As the day progressed we had several, and by several I mean anywhere between 5 and 8 people woth arms bigger around than my head, come in to install our new proof box. How exciting. Lucky for me, my space was taken over and I had to relocate to a different table right in the way of every person that walked by with a huge piece of the metal box. Please note my sarcasm. We usually have seven or so people working at the same time in our bake shop, occasionally a dishwasher or another employee from a different part of the building will come in. Today we ended up with a total of 15 people in the room at once. Mind you, this bakeshop is not very large.
One of my co-workers then said "In a perfect world, we would be working at different times." Meaning the bakers and the men that were installing the proof box.
This then got me thinking "What is a perfect world?"
I pondered this thought for quite a while as I put danishes and cinnamon rolls on a tray.
I then finally come to the conclusion that we already live in a perfect world, everything is perfect as it is. This theory is still in the works, considering that I haven't had anyone to discuss this yet, but so far I can not think of a reason why this world is not perfect. Yes, I understand that each individual person is not perfect, but people as a whole are. But then you must break that down. Are only half of the people perfect? No, because no one is perfect. And if no one is perfect, then there is nothing above imperfect. We know nothing greater than imperfection. And if there is nothing greater than imperfection, then imperfection is indeed perfection. If there were anything that was indeed 100% perfect, that would then make something else obsolete. And obsoletion is imperfection. Imperfection is necessary for perfection. Again, I am still testing this theory and I welcome any criticisms and will answer or reply to them in later posts.

Star Blog.

There is a tremendous amount of constant rain as of now and I cannot help but think "I do not exist" thanks to The Messes of Me by mewithoutYou. A good song, for those of you who do not know. Today will be one of those lonely days, because I do not particularly want to be driving around in this weather.

Now I would like to talk about one of my most hated companies: Starbucks.
Anyone who knows me knows that I do hate Starbucks, but also that I drink the shit when I have the money to. It really is quite a shame and I wish it didn't have to be that way. I have gone on many quests and searches to find a cheap, local alternative for the place, but every local alternative turns out to be even more expensive. But then again, when I go and get something stupid like a "Vanilla Bean Frappuchino" I look at it and wonder why I didn't just go get a vanilla milkshake from McDonalds for $1.58. I really don't know.
But, moving right along, Starbucks has unleashed a series of mutant possessed zombie coffee grinders. Yes.

The Starbucks Barista Blade Grinders

Yes, that would be it. You can see, clearly, that is is obviously of some demonic decent. Also the fact that they tend to turn on by themselves and refuse to shut off, sometimes when people are cleaning them. Someone get the Ouija board, these things have got something to say! Perhaps they require a blood sacrifice.
Apparently most Starbucks customers do not know how to properly handle appliance possession, so Starbucks has recalled 530,000 of them. Silly, silly people.




And speaking of silly people, lets touch on the story of 56 Star girl.


Some 18 year old girl in Belgium went to get her face tattooed (Because THAT was a good idea in the first place....) and ended up with 56 stars tattooed on the side of her face. The artist said that she had told him 56, the girls claims to have fallen asleep during the tattooing.


From first hand experience, I would NOT fall asleep while getting a tattoo, ESPECIALLY one on my face. Also, why would the artist continue tattooing her when she was asleep if she only asked for 3? For sure he knew that he would get sued, and the only plus side to her have 56 stars is that he would be able to charge more, but when you get a tattoo, you pay half of the amount before you even go to your appointment, so I definitely call bullshit on this girl.


The artist said that she looked in the mirror several times while it was being done and said that she liked it, and that everything was fine until her father showed up. Now she is suing the tattoo company and getting most of them removed. Way to go.

You Know You're A Total Fatass AND A Nerd When...

...you use the light from your laptop's screen so you can open your Fruit-By-The-Foot
...you can correctly identify each species of fish in your Sea Life gummies
...you feel the need to say "phone home" whenever you eat Reese's Pieces
...you eat Funyuns and Mountain Dew on a weekly basis
...you understand the meaning behind Funyuns and Mountian Dew
...you have fought TeddyGrams "to the pain"
...you align your M&M's not only by color, but also in the shape of tetris blocks
...you have written cryptic things in EasyCheese
...you know the cake is a lie, but you eat it anyway
...you also think the cake is great. So delicious and moist
...you know that Sonic's favorite is chili dogs
...you have made and devoured lambas bread
...you will gladly eat elevensies.
...you have used alphabet soup/cereal to write out CSS, Java, or HTML codes
...you have used an old, no longer working CD-rom, DVD, or any other compact disc as a plate
...you refer to your macaroni and cheese as a "series of tubes"
...you don't mind if your caloric intake is "OVER NINE-THOUSAND"
...you refer to eating as "chargin ur lazer!"
...youCANhascheezburger
...you know D&D as two things. Dungeons and Dragons or Dunkin' Donuts

that is all for now. Live long and pasta.

Bitches Love Me 'Cause They Know That I Can Rock.

What an awesome weekend, really!
It started out rocky, because of my practical. I definitely did NOT do as well as I hoped. Applestrip is not my forte, apparently, but I did know that ahead of time. It's amazing what nerves can do to you.
I don't have a picture of what it's supposed to look like, but I do have a picture that shows what it did look like.



Jabba no like-a apple strip! Jee panwa waffmula chone patogga che lickmoomoo!



But then after class Van and I went to the movies and saw Wolverine.
Can I mention...the awesome?
It was pretty good. not my favorite of all of them, but it was really good none the less.
Deadpool was in it, so that just made it awesome. And Gambit.

We then came home, slept, woke up the next morning and lazed around for a bit, which is always really nice. The weather has been great.
Theeeeeeennnn we went to the Melting Pot. Aaaaahhhhh. Delicious. More food that we even knew what to do with. It was an incredibly nice night. And I definitely brought one of the fondue forks home.


And that's only 1/3 of it. talk about being a fat kid! Mmmmm.

We hardly made it home on such full stomachs. We definitely learned how contagious yawning really is.

Sunday was rainy, so no baseball, but we did have RP night and made food and kicked vampire ass.

DAMN.

I just went back and read what I wrote.

Starwars (mentioning Jabba the Hutt, and Huttese)

XMen (mentioning several of the characters)

RPing (self explanatory)

Vampires

I am the biggest nerd on the face of the planet.

But I digress.

I will spend most of the day packing up my dorm, since I am leaving in 3 weeks. it's about time that I start putting things in boxes and bags so it's not a complete disaster being put off until the last possible second. So I'll get a lot of my clothing packed up.

I'm really excited for my next class.

I finished cakes (just barely!)

and I am now going into Individual Production Pastries. My favorite!

it should be an awesome class.

Now, for something completely out there and incoherent. I only know of one, maybe 2 people that will understand this. Van and I talked a little bit about it yesterday, I believe.

I really wish people could know certain things about me. I really can't say or explain what they are, for my own safety and sanity, but lets call it an illness.

I really wish that the people I associate with, work with or come in contact with could see that I have this illness. It would help them understand why I act the way I do, do the things I do, say what I say. They would be able to understand my actions, everything would make so much more sense. it would be exponentially helpful to both myself and people around me, but it's really not that easy. Van made the point of saying that if everyone could see that I was this way, that would just give them one more thing to latch on to and pick apart. And this is true, but i would have to wonder if it would be worth it. It would almost be like wearing a medical ID bracelet that said I was bipolar, or something similar. People would understand why I act the way I do, but on the other hand it would be more likely that they would treat me differently, perhaps negatively, because they knew that about me.

But, they would understand little things like why I don't speak to people when I'm angry, why I act incredibly nonchalant when something goes wrong and why it seems like I don't care about anything. Why I paint, why I write, why I play music when something in wrong. Why I don't talk about my problems, ever. I know it upsets people on occasion when I don't tell them why I am upset or what is bothering me. It just goes with that. It goes with my nature, and it goes with my, for lack of a better term, "illness". If I could get rid of it, sometimes I think I would. But I have a feeling that someday I may need it for something. We'll see.

*BAMF!*

Post 101

This here is my 101st blog post.
Not too shabby for only having this since November.

Good news: got my extern, fer sure. training agreement and everything.
SO, come July 1st, I will be working at Mohonk Mountain House.
Only 30 minutes away from here.
Exciting, no?
It should be awesome.




Now it's time for some



SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING

*cough*

Maybe Someday...

Today sucked. I'm not even going to lie. It really really did. It was alright until I got to class. At that point, it all just started falling downhill.

I had to make biscotti for my practical. I fucking hate biscotti. No one likes biscotti. Fuck biscotti. With my awesome phonetic skills, I successfully managed to misread and totally destroy the recipe by attempting to make chocolate chip biscotti instead of chocolate. Sooo I had to figure out how to somehow change chocolate chip into chocolate. Little did I realize that one require baking soda while the other required baking powder. And on top of all of this, the oven I used broke without my knowledge. Needless to say I had some really shitty biscotti. Needless to say, I failed my exam. Awesome. Two more to go, though.

After class I went to the gym again.
It was later this time, it was pretty full. As soon as I walked in the room, I instantly felt as if I had transformed from human to meat. I walked in, and I just wasn't even a person anymore. I ignored this and just put in my headphones and listened to my music while I ran and lifted weights. But I could still see the people just staring at me and watching me lift weights and just look at me in ways I really prefer to not be looked at in. I really made me feel like shit. I was actually a bit self conscious as I was lifting; not because I can't lift much, but just because I could tell how a lot of the guys were staring. It really made me feel shitty. I don't even take it as a compliment anymore.
And then of course, I had Broski and Beaver stop by to hang out a bit. A few lines were crossed with some things that were said. Starting with something that had happened one night when I had been drinking and did some ridiculous and regrettable things that I honestly did not know happened. And of course I had a few of those empty blank spaces in my mind were filled in about what really did happen that time. Nothing that I am happy about nor proud of, nor really wanted to remember. Especially aloud in a room full of other people that honestly did not need to know about all of that. Continuing on, I also learned that I was the fulfiller of a couple 'guy fantasies', which truth be told made me feel absolutely sick and disgusted with myself. Strangely, at this point i can understand why I look like a half-rack of spare ribs to someone.
I'm going to bed.
fuck it.




Do you remember how it was when you bled? When you loved and burned in those flames that you've kept because Vesta's long been sleeping . And now you've come to accept that your anatomy defines more than a few of the gaping holes in our social fabric; more than a few one night stands, more than a few prison bars melted into wedding bands.
We've made you all the peasants and we've made ourselves the kings, our queens are still subordinate as an angel without wings .We make it easy to belong which means it's easy to be wrong "Put some plastic in your tits, and you'd look better as a blond." I remember when you were hopeful and you never thought your life would be lived inside a coffin with a moral sacrifice and a million social obligations, labels and expectations. You were young and modern seventeen in vogue and vague pursuit of a cosmopolitan dream. When you bled on the bed as you fed those expectations as a whore and not a human, you embraced with hesitation the very parameters of all you can be; not a mother, not an aunt, not a sister who's not subdued, because dignity's not physical and your flesh means more than you. I know we'll wake up one day with a gun to the back of our brains. You'll be asking for your rib and I'll smile and call you brave. Maybe someday when this bloody skull has dried I'll know our city is in ruins when our greatest source of pride is a monument of dicks and ribs and gender crowns we wore where underneath, a plaque will read, "No woman is a whore."

Band: Protest The Hero
Song: Turn Soonest To The Sea
Album: Kezia

turn soonest to the sea - Protest the Hero

*edit
And I just found out that Protest The Hero is playing with The Number 12 Looks Like You in the city on May 9th. Hooooolllyyyyy shit. Forget going to see GWAR. I am saving all my money and trecking my ass down there. Best. Line-up. Ever. (Misery Signals, Scales The Summit, Falls From Grace will also be there.) Ohgodohgodohgod.

I NEED THIS!

BAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

and in the meantime I shall make tshirts that say the following:


NSFW


1337


I CAN HAS

PWN3D

"Chemicals, Man, They'll Fuck You Up."

After watching SLC Punk a few too many times, I found the need to buy ridiculous clothing. Patterned sports-coats in assortments of colors, the brighter the better, pants of unusual hues, tshirts with horrible sayings, and fantastic shoes and hats. Top it all off with a bandanna around the neck. This has been a habit of mine. My wardrobe looks something like:

Black, black, black, black, black, SHAZAM!, black, black, black...

Its freaking awesome.

Just thought I would mention that.

Clashing colors might be my favorite thing ever and I really do love to look like I jumped right out of Wonderland. Gotta love making everyone around you feel like they just dropped acid.

I have a poster for the band The Clash next to my bed.
Every day I roll over and see it
then obey what it says:

CLASH

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

I've come to realize that the people I admire most are complete assholes. For my writing class we have to write two papers on a person. One with good things about them, another with bad things. We had to pick three different people then narrow it down to the one that would be the best. My choices were:



Jimmy Urine
Marilyn Manson
Andy Warhol




Now, if those people aren't a couple of the biggest assholes you've ever heard of, then I am sorry that you have had to deal with more. Let us observe.



Jimmy Urine, who is known for kissing his fans for money, asking them for cash, and also for them to buy him things. Jimmy knows, and uses to his advantage, the fact that his fans will do just about anything. While I was at an MSI show, he took his microphone and claimed it to be magical because he could use it to make people do anything. And he proved his point by getting the entire audience to bark like several different sized dogs, meow like cats, and make buffalo noises, later says "Ah! So that's what those fuckers sound like!" He has admitted that his blatant disrespect for the crowd is simply for his own entertainment. Firing strings of insults into his screaming audience seems to get them more fired up. Perhaps "Mindless" really is a great word to used. He truly is an asshole and an amazing con artist. Though he seems to be lacking in intelligence, that is quite the misconception, considering that he has successfully gotten millions of people to practically bow at his feet, despite the distasteful things he does. And THAT is why I find him fantastic.

"Buy lots of our stuff. Give me some money, stop making more bands. Make an animated series I like to watch instead."

Marilyn Manson is an asshole on an entirely different level. Manson has an intimidating intelligence that give him the ability to put almost anyone in their place. His sense of humor is one that is undetectably sardonic. He tends to take the anti society route other than the anti-musician route. His way of going about things is incredibly offensive in a way that somehow manages to make the ones who are offended look bad. His words and actions reflect his dislike of society, the American way of thinking, and the general monotony of the public. He is an asshole, but for the right reasons.

"Anybody intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit
around and do nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am.
They're going to be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed."

Andy Warhol could almost be called an anti-artist. Though not part of Dada, Warhol had a way of showing people that everything could be bought, that money could fuel anything, and that to him, art was unnecessary while being completely necessary. No only could his painting be considered ridiculous and boring, but also his films. Warhol's film Eat is a 45 minute film that consists of nothing more than a man eating a mushroom.
Warhol took polar opposite things and made them equal. Two of his most famous paintings are a picture of Marilyn Monroe and a picture of a Campbell's soup can. Both vastly different, but both made equal. Andy Warhol considered money to be incredibly important. To him, making money was art and having a good business was the best kind of art. He admitted to being a 'deeply superficial person" and wanting to be "plastic". His vain love of money, his infatuation with the boring, and his ability to con people into eventually thinking that something as simple as a soup can could be art is really what made him an artist. And an asshole.

"I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked
the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting
money. "

Now, these people are not the typical kind of asshole that just cut people off while driving or don't tip (though I wouldn't put it past some of them...), they're the kind of people that others see as assholes because of how they blatantly surface controversial and dist respectful viewpoints simply to stir other up. Each did it for his own separate reason, and each reason has a lot of truth behind it. Whether a pop artist, musical artist, or performance artist, each is a con artist and in the end, a brilliant, brilliant asshole.

We Only Come Out At Night

If you haven't noticed yet, I have a slight problem with the media and the way it portrays things. The media has a habit of either warping things to seem really bad, or making really bad things seem like they're okay. Either that or they publicize something to the point of where it is dangerous. [See "Wasn't That A Stardust Fantasy", "Teen Commits Suicide Live On Webcam" or "Though I Did Love Who Wants To Be A Superhero" ]
More and more recently the media has been publicizing certain kinds of people that have been glamorized into being seen as "cool". My first example is pirates.

Since Disney's Pirates Of The Caribbean, pirates have been views as cool, funny and even sexy. People want to be pirates, people want to dress like pirates, people think that pirates are these wonderful, glamorous things. In reality, pirates are just thieves, murderers, rapists and generally criminals. They were outlaws that killed people and stole their things, raped women, burned down buildings and many other acts of violence. If someone were doing that today, they would not be viewed as a hero, they would not be viewed as funny, and they would not be viewed as glamorous. Granted we really don't see people sailing around and acting like pirates anymore, but the fact that they are viewed as something cool is really just damaging.

The next, and probably more extreme example, is vampires.
Vampires, as according to myth, are the spirits of people that either: 1. Committed suicide; 2. Were murdered and want revenge. Granted that there are several other myths, I'm going to generally stick to the "evil spirits wanting revenge" one for now. There are so far no real "positive" reasons why vampires would exist. Aside from that, vampires are scary things. They're meant to be scary. They go and kill people, drain them of their life and energy, and are generally very dark. Vampires have been given the image of sexy and seductive, which is more or less true based on the 'forbidden' factor, also their hypnotism, but the fact that they are now seen as "good" things, is really a horrible misconception. Vampires are not teen heartthrobs, nor are they happy and friendly creatures that want to be "bffz" with everyone.
To make matters worse, we have vampire people coming out in the open. Not only are they coming out in the open, they're killing other people. The publicity of vampires and vampirism is making it seem like being a 'vampire' is cool. I'm not going to get into full detail about the subject, but the idea of it is frightening. People are coming out and acting like vampires, and killing other people.

I really must pin a lot of this on the media of today. Between the news and entertainment, we're fueling people's minds with violent ideas and letting them think its okay. So, if you just so happen to be reading this, I challenge you to go look at the news and find something positive that has happened recently. And I don't mean "Man Saves Dog With Broken Leg" or "Kid Sells 5000 Boxes Of Cookies". Just try it.

Half Cheese, Half Hawaiian

Being a pizza delivery person must be terrible.
Not because of the driving, not because of the late hours, not because of the bad pay, but because off all the people you see.
It must be such a mental trip.
One minute you're delivering five pizzas to a seven-year old's birthday party. There are bright balloons and streamers, children running through the family's yard laughing and yelling, parents gathered around talking, and the birthday child grinning from ear to ear. You walk in the door to meet a mom or dad who, though flustered, smiles and thanks you, handing you a tip. The next minute you're back in your car again, driving to the next house with two pizzas. Someone answers the door, their eyes are puffy from old tears, they're still in pajamas, they're alone. You know they're going to eat both by themselves, they tip twice as much as anyone else would because they think that don't have anything better to use the money on.
Next stop: a family of four, the table is set, they're getting ready to sit down together, unlike the next house where a teenage kid answers the door, shoves a twenty at you, and closes the door as muffled screaming, crashing, and yelling escapes.
And that is only a few situations. this isn't even mentioning the football games, the college parties, the sleepovers, the bulimic, the lonely person that would love to have someone to share it with.
So many different people.

"Wasn't That A Stardust Fantasy?"

Again, with the Little Miss Sunshin-ery.

I forgot about the actual beauty pageant part of the movie, and how they have actual pageant girls.

Can I just mention how absolutely horrifying pageant girls are?

The ones that are six or seven years old and they have more makeup on than a drag queen.

The fact that these parents dress up their little kids like rodeo-princess Barbie and make them sing and dance and brainwash them into thinking that what they're doing is truly what they want to do is sickening. Being told from that young of an age that they need to wear make-up, they need to be skinny, they need to look perfect and beautiful and that they need to win. What miserable life are they going to have to live because of their mothers what want their daughters to be something they could never be. What kind of irresponsible parent would try to live vicariously through their child? They couldn't achieve their own goals, so they push their children to live an unhealthy lifestyle. It makes me truly and honestly ill. People wonder why anorexia, bulimia, intentional self mutilation syndrome, depression and anxiety and suicide are so common. It is because of things like this:

"To be a total package child, you must make sure ever part of your look is prefect."

-http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/282237/tips_for_childrens_beauty_pageants.html

They are expected to be a "total package child" and live up to impossible standards. Each one trying to "out-pretty" the other, because that is what their parents want them to do. It is so unnatural for a child to act the way they have to act and dress the way they have to dress. Turns out that aliens really do exist.

"Everbody just...pretened to be normal, okay? Like everything is normal here."

The suicidal gay uncle, the heroin addict grandfather, the over-achieving father, the mute son, the daughter that just wants to please, and the mother that tries to cope with it all.

These are all extremes, but really every family is like the main characters of Little Miss Sunshine.

I continue to think about this as I watch the movie. Every one's family is so crazy, but so normal at the same time. Every family has problems, every family has a slightly unhinged member, every family goes on some kind of whirlwind adventure at one pointt or another. Its really very interesting to think about it. Not every family has a gay suicidal uncle that is depressed yet scholarly, but they still have the family member that will desperately need some kind of help but is no longer trusted. Everyone may not directly have that mute son, but there is still the family member that wants nothing more than to get as far away from everyone as possible. Every family has someone that has an addiction, or a problem, but they still want the best for everyone else. But everyone does not have heroin addict grandpa. As I watch this movie, I think about how despite the dramatization, the Hoover family is just like every other family. Just as crazy, just as disheveled,just as problematic.

The only difference is that every family doesn't have a yellow Volkswagen bus.