You Don't Even Want To Know

I will start by apologizing for the negativity that is seeping from every crooked letter and every punctuation in this post.

These past few days may have been some of the worst days of my life.

What makes it even worse is the fact that I can't even write about it here due to potential legal issues.

The other day I was flown to Texas to testify in court.

First I had to drive to Philadelphia, which is no big deal, as this happens about once a month.

From Philadelphia I flew to Houston, Texas. No big deal, right? Wrong.

The flight was connecting, of course, so I could get to my actual destination. Unfortunately, though, that flight left 20 minutes after my first flight touched ground. God knows it could take 20 minutes just to get off of a plane. Naturally, my first flight was ten minutes late. Fantastic.

Finally I made it in and went to the gate, which turned out to be changed. The new terminal was "all the way across the airport", according to one of the not-so-accommodating staff members. So, off I ran, taking the train for the second time to get to the proper terminal. Did I get there? Yes. Did the employee tell me the right terminal? No. Of course, I had to hope back on the plane and finally made it to the proper gate.

Just in time for the plane to be leaving.

I missed my freaking flight.

So, after more frustration, my flight was switched and I had to fly to Dallas. Then from Dallas, to my destination.

It was a nightmare.

My feet hurt, my stomach was sick, I hadn't slept in 36 hours and I had to face what felt like a reoccurring nightmare.

We will shorten this whole, lengthy story by saying I was driven to the court house, testified then spent the night and the next day in a large hotel. The court case did not go at all as planned. If anything, it was the complete opposite of what we were hoping for.

In the hotel, the food was mediocre and I found fleas in my room. Luckily I got my room switched and got to watch cable for a while, so that was good.

The next day I was driven back to the airport, hoped on a tiny jet, flew back into Houston, then went back onto another plane to Philly. That flight was filled with screaming, shrieking, whining children and a lady that chomped on her gum as if she were a goat.

The whole situation was a horrible, horrible nightmare that still has my eyes watering when I think about it too hard.

Another few days in Philly to recover, then back to New York.

Honestly, I'm not even writing this post so people can read it, but more for my own well-being. it just sucks that I can't even write what I want to.

Recently I haven't been able to talk to Van much, not just because of not being home, but because of work schedules and just issues.

He has so many of his own problems that I can't help but feel like I am a complete and total burden to him more than anything else.

Not too long ago we got new that we were going to have to move out of our apartment. Van will be moving into his family's house, I will be moving into my friends' house.

Thanksgiving is going to be crappy, and Christmas is going to be even worse. I'm dreading every upcoming moment for the next 6 months.

There is just too much going on right now for me to handle and I don't know what to do.

I can't get a hold of my best friend, either, so I really feel like I have no one right now.

Sure, I have my parents, as I'm staying in their house, but as soon as I leave here and go back to New York, I'm going to be completely alone again.

I don't feel like writing anymore.

There Ain't No Rest For the Wicked

Sagging, tired eyes

What is this thing you speak of?

"Sleep" is what it's called?

I've lost count of how many days it has been since I've slept well. Going to bed at 6:30 am isn't cutting it. For some reason I keep tossing and turning.

Luckily enough, I've been able to keep myself busy.

So far I've nearly completed my Fallout 3 Laser Rifle prop for my Halloween costume. The rest of my outfit is ready to go. Same with Van's.

The other night I worked the midnight release for Fallout New Vegas. What a wonderful time!

Of course I left the store with my collector's edition copy, I haven't had a chance to play it though.

After leaving the midnight release a little later than 1 am, I drove a friend of mine home, then picked up my other friend, Jason, and we drove to Philly.

In the pouring rain.

At 2 am.

Several Full Throttles, a NOS, a Rockstar and a Venom later....

We got to my parents' house at 6 am, just as Dad was leaving for work.

Almost immediately we went to sleep, just to wake up in 4 hours then drive an hour into Center City.

There we waited at the Rock School of Dance to audition to work at DISNEY WORLD!

This was very exciting.

I figured, though, that we would just do some minor acting auditions and get an interview. I was sorely mistaken.

And sore in general.

Turns out we had to dance for approximately 3 hours. Almost non-stop. After being so exhausted (and sick from drinking all those poisons on an empty stomach that morning...), dancing was the LAST thing I needed to do. I was certain that I was going to faint.

The auditions were out at 5 pm. I felt confident and sweaty and ready to collapse.

With eyes drooping and heads nodding, we finally made our way home, ate dinner, then watched the extremely disappointing Scream Awards.

At 8 o'clock this morning, we woke up and made our way back to New York. Traffic was awful, due to ungodly amounts of construction.

I dropped Jason off at his house, then went to Planet New York and added on to my tattoo.

Now, I'm home, sitting on the couch, typing this with my eyes closed, ready to fall asleep. Maybe I'll make cookies for Van tonight, since I just got some chocolate chip cookie dough from Mom.

Or maybe I'll just lay on the floor until someone scoops me up with a giant spatula...

PANEER PAKORA!

I'm currently in Philly, getting ready to go to sleep. Tomorrow we leave the house wicked early to go back up to New York.
Its cruise time!
Off to the Bahamas I will go.
Unfortunately there will be no way for me to update while I am gone, as it costs a WICKED crazy amount to use the Internet on cruise ships. So any updates will have to wait until I return.
Anyhow, the real reason I came on here was to rave about an Indian restaurant that just opened up around my parent's house. Its called Aman's and its in North Wales, PA.
It was wonderful.
I got a Boti Kabab, which was cooked lamb. Came with bosmati rice. Also tried one of their vegetable samosas.
But, what really impressed me was this;
My favorite Indian dish is paneer pakora. I love it. It is delicious. I could eat it all day long.
For those of you who don't know what it is, its basically fried cheese with a curry sauce on the inside. So, so good. Now, I;ve been to several Indian restaurants, and I have yet to find it anywhere. I'm not sure if its a regional thing, if its an Americanized dish, or if its just uncommon.
There was a place I used to go to called Greater India, and honestly, it was some of the best food I've ever had. But the owner was not very nice, so we stopped going there about three years ago. Since then, I have been on a quest to find delicious paneer pakora, and sadly, I have not found it.
Until today.
Whilst looking on the menu, I did not see it anywhere, and I was immediately saddened, but, considering that its a brand new restaurant, not even a week old, I asked the waiter if they by any chance made it, but it wasn't on the menu.
He said no, but he was then kind enough to go ask the chef, just in case.
And, the chef, was kind enough to make it for us anyway, even though they don't sever it there!
It was very surprising and very nice. I was incredibly impressed.
So, I figured I would write a nice little review, just in case anyone in the Buck's county area is looking for a great Indian restaurant. I highly recommend Aman's. And who knows, maybe you will see me there, because I will definitely be going back again!

D:

I miss my Vannerpuss!!!!!!!!!

Going home tomorrow morning. Got a gigantic bag of grapefruits and 9 mangoes! Woohoo! Along with some chicken and some eggs and some cheese and some veggies! Hooray for balanced meals!

Snail.

Moving out today, for real. Just emptied my ENTIRE room and when Vanny gets back from work with take it all to our apartment. Woohoo!
Its been a long, tiring year and wow is it nice to know that I won't have to go to class every day for a little while. I find it exciting. Over the next few weeks I'll be moving all of my things into the apartment and setting it up so it's actually livable. Hooray!
Going back to Philly today, my Aunt and Uncle are there too, havent seen them in a year or so.
Anyhow, I havent really slept in a few days so Im going to go do that now.

Arrrgggg

What a weekend.
I feel like my Monday posts are usually started that way.
This is a good thing. Good weekends = good things.
We learned (again) that my navigational skills are that of a bat with no sonar.
After about an hour or so of delay, we made it home at almost 2 oclock to a slightly confused, but pleasantly surprised mother.
Van go to discover the wonders of Wegmans and how awesome Wawa is and the glory that is Yumyum's donuts.
Hell yes.
Excellent.
My grandparents and my neighbors came over for desserts and got to meet Van too.
That all turned out very well.
This makes me happy.
Good weekend.

Now I am curled up in the fetal position crying because my cramps are so bad I can't walk. Awesome.
Goodnight.

Meowth, That's Right!

Scratch that.
I am so not sleeping tonight.

For some reason, I cannot sleep in my room anymore. I always had trouble sleeping when I lived in my house anyway and I never knew why. Still don't. There must be something in here that is keeping me awake, giving me these eerie things. There is always something dashing by out of the corner of my eye, or crawling up. I really don't know what any of it is, but I don't like it being here. A few minutes ago I tried to get rid of it, but nothing really worked, I tried what I could. The last few times I slept here I couldn't sleep and was up all night with the lights on. It's gotten to that point again. I can only sleep well in my dorm or at Van or Chux house, that's about it. It's not like my room is a scary place. Yeah, I do have a poster from the grudge and a porcelain doll that stares at me in my sleep, but those aren't really the scary things. I even have a Meowth stuffed animal; that could make anything not scary anymore, but for some reason, my room is just plain creepy. I need to get my tree friends over here to do something about it. This whole house is crawling with things. I don't even know what most of it is, I can just tell that it's there, keeping me from walking in the hallways at night. There is no way in hell I could walk around my house at night. I get freaked out walking from my room to the bathroom and it is literally 8 feet away. Two steps. Its just so creepy and gives off such bad vibes.

Sleep sounds absolutely wonderful right about now, but I keep waking up. It is horrid.
Someone come make everything better? My feet are cold.


Better think of my answers now because I know the questions will be asked. Like if I brought the joy I found in the confessions of a mask. The tip of my tongue's already touching the top of my mouth. It's meaning manifest in mercy burning down the house. It's true that tactless teem totem-poles turn tolerance to tired taboos. It's true that a bullet never knocks on the door, it's about to come crashing through. Walking one last mile in big steps as your alter-wine; doing it in tattered shoes that aren't even mine because my own are in a box locked up with possessions I can't have. Like the gunman with his future and the prison priest's golden calf. Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes and try to feel a trembling fetal life inside that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed. Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast. Like a little girl on a bed that was years ago deceased. Resurrected last night with a letter she can't trace, resurrected to be killed and maybe born again; I'll always be Kezia so long as any hope remains.

Very good song, but I do not like the way they pronounce Kezia. The way they do is probably the correct way, but who knows. There is Caroline (care-oh-lin) and Caroline (Care-oh-line), along with Madeline (Mad-uh-lin) and Madeline (Mad-uh-line). They pronounce is kuh-ZI-uh with a long "I" sound, while I pronounce is KEZ-ee-uh. Hm. They way they pronounce it does sound more biblical, which makes sense considering it is a biblical name.
I could seriously listen to Protest The Hero all night long. The more I listen, the more I like them. They really are one of the most amazing bands I have ever heard in my entire life. It would actually be worth buying their album instead of just downloading it. They are worth giving my money to. That will now be on my list of things to do. Until then I will sit here and listen to them happily and not think about the scary things in my room. Perhaps I will fall asleep at my laptop. At least my face will be warm.

You Said I Make You Laugh, Well You Make My Heart Sing

I went home for the weekend and boy oh boy. Always an adventure, I guess.
Got home right late last night and went straight to bed. Got up this morning and went to the grocery store to make a plethora of different baked goods. perhaps I will post a picture or two. Ive been fighting this food all day long, but on the way back from the grocery store we noticed that a bookstore nearby is going out of business. I went in to take a look and left with 14 comic books for about...a dollar. So that was awesome.
And other than that, Ive been baking like a fool for most of the day. I went out to eat with Jess and she came over for a little bit. We did some catching up like we always do. Then came back and now I'm baking even more food. Hooray.
Tomorrow I'm going to breakfast with Robby at IHOP, which is one of our haunts, then back to school.
Mom is meeting Van, I think and I'm actually a little bit nervous. Aaaah!
haha.
It should go well though.
Anyway. I have cherry turnovers burning in the oven.

THUNDER...THUNDER...THUNDERCATS..HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

On The Road Again

Long ride home today. Lots of snow. Ian was nice enough to drive me home. We were doing great for about an hour then all of a sudden we got enveloped in a whirling cyclone of frost.

Alright, that was a little bit dramatic.

But I think you get my point. It was a really dangerous drive. Lots of snow. New York to Philly. Quite the adventure. It took HOURS. But we did eat at the Eveready Diner today. yum. Aaaaand... get Starbucks. shhhhh... But honestly, it makes me feel like a spoiled, pretty Cali girl or something when I drink starbucks. Especially when I wear my white coat, sunglasses, or if I'm texting on a phone. I just feel like a shitty person.

But I got home and we went to eat at a grody Texmex place. It was kind of sick. And I went to the bookstore. The bookstore really is an enjoyable place. I enjoy hanging out there.

We then came home and watched Hellboy 2. Abe is such a great character. He's my favorite. See? Isn't he cute??

Anyway.

I'm sleepy. Goodnight.

Ps- Totally saw the 30 Days Of Night graphic novel in the book store today.

MUST. HAVE.