There Ain't No Rest For the Wicked

Sagging, tired eyes

What is this thing you speak of?

"Sleep" is what it's called?

I've lost count of how many days it has been since I've slept well. Going to bed at 6:30 am isn't cutting it. For some reason I keep tossing and turning.

Luckily enough, I've been able to keep myself busy.

So far I've nearly completed my Fallout 3 Laser Rifle prop for my Halloween costume. The rest of my outfit is ready to go. Same with Van's.

The other night I worked the midnight release for Fallout New Vegas. What a wonderful time!

Of course I left the store with my collector's edition copy, I haven't had a chance to play it though.

After leaving the midnight release a little later than 1 am, I drove a friend of mine home, then picked up my other friend, Jason, and we drove to Philly.

In the pouring rain.

At 2 am.

Several Full Throttles, a NOS, a Rockstar and a Venom later....

We got to my parents' house at 6 am, just as Dad was leaving for work.

Almost immediately we went to sleep, just to wake up in 4 hours then drive an hour into Center City.

There we waited at the Rock School of Dance to audition to work at DISNEY WORLD!

This was very exciting.

I figured, though, that we would just do some minor acting auditions and get an interview. I was sorely mistaken.

And sore in general.

Turns out we had to dance for approximately 3 hours. Almost non-stop. After being so exhausted (and sick from drinking all those poisons on an empty stomach that morning...), dancing was the LAST thing I needed to do. I was certain that I was going to faint.

The auditions were out at 5 pm. I felt confident and sweaty and ready to collapse.

With eyes drooping and heads nodding, we finally made our way home, ate dinner, then watched the extremely disappointing Scream Awards.

At 8 o'clock this morning, we woke up and made our way back to New York. Traffic was awful, due to ungodly amounts of construction.

I dropped Jason off at his house, then went to Planet New York and added on to my tattoo.

Now, I'm home, sitting on the couch, typing this with my eyes closed, ready to fall asleep. Maybe I'll make cookies for Van tonight, since I just got some chocolate chip cookie dough from Mom.

Or maybe I'll just lay on the floor until someone scoops me up with a giant spatula...

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

I've come to realize that the people I admire most are complete assholes. For my writing class we have to write two papers on a person. One with good things about them, another with bad things. We had to pick three different people then narrow it down to the one that would be the best. My choices were:



Jimmy Urine
Marilyn Manson
Andy Warhol




Now, if those people aren't a couple of the biggest assholes you've ever heard of, then I am sorry that you have had to deal with more. Let us observe.



Jimmy Urine, who is known for kissing his fans for money, asking them for cash, and also for them to buy him things. Jimmy knows, and uses to his advantage, the fact that his fans will do just about anything. While I was at an MSI show, he took his microphone and claimed it to be magical because he could use it to make people do anything. And he proved his point by getting the entire audience to bark like several different sized dogs, meow like cats, and make buffalo noises, later says "Ah! So that's what those fuckers sound like!" He has admitted that his blatant disrespect for the crowd is simply for his own entertainment. Firing strings of insults into his screaming audience seems to get them more fired up. Perhaps "Mindless" really is a great word to used. He truly is an asshole and an amazing con artist. Though he seems to be lacking in intelligence, that is quite the misconception, considering that he has successfully gotten millions of people to practically bow at his feet, despite the distasteful things he does. And THAT is why I find him fantastic.

"Buy lots of our stuff. Give me some money, stop making more bands. Make an animated series I like to watch instead."

Marilyn Manson is an asshole on an entirely different level. Manson has an intimidating intelligence that give him the ability to put almost anyone in their place. His sense of humor is one that is undetectably sardonic. He tends to take the anti society route other than the anti-musician route. His way of going about things is incredibly offensive in a way that somehow manages to make the ones who are offended look bad. His words and actions reflect his dislike of society, the American way of thinking, and the general monotony of the public. He is an asshole, but for the right reasons.

"Anybody intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit
around and do nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am.
They're going to be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed."

Andy Warhol could almost be called an anti-artist. Though not part of Dada, Warhol had a way of showing people that everything could be bought, that money could fuel anything, and that to him, art was unnecessary while being completely necessary. No only could his painting be considered ridiculous and boring, but also his films. Warhol's film Eat is a 45 minute film that consists of nothing more than a man eating a mushroom.
Warhol took polar opposite things and made them equal. Two of his most famous paintings are a picture of Marilyn Monroe and a picture of a Campbell's soup can. Both vastly different, but both made equal. Andy Warhol considered money to be incredibly important. To him, making money was art and having a good business was the best kind of art. He admitted to being a 'deeply superficial person" and wanting to be "plastic". His vain love of money, his infatuation with the boring, and his ability to con people into eventually thinking that something as simple as a soup can could be art is really what made him an artist. And an asshole.

"I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked
the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting
money. "

Now, these people are not the typical kind of asshole that just cut people off while driving or don't tip (though I wouldn't put it past some of them...), they're the kind of people that others see as assholes because of how they blatantly surface controversial and dist respectful viewpoints simply to stir other up. Each did it for his own separate reason, and each reason has a lot of truth behind it. Whether a pop artist, musical artist, or performance artist, each is a con artist and in the end, a brilliant, brilliant asshole.

I Am Willing To Let The Jetset Life Kill Me

Its been a few days. I've been sick. It blows. Ah well.

I have two goals. Two major goals. One being bigger than the other.

1. Go see the Misfits this weekend. I really need to go get tickets and find someone to go with, but at this point, I'd walk to the venue and go by myself. Its important. Sure it is fun to go to shows with friends and cheer and have a great time, but I really go to see the band, not make conversation. Maybe that sounds really horrible, but if I wanted to just hang out with my friends, a concert would not be the best place...I'd say pick somewhere like the Starbucks in Barns And Noble or something. Or maybe a pool-hall? I don't know. When I go to a concert, I got for the music and the music ONLY.
But anyway. The Misfits are the last band I need to see before I die. Yeah, sure, there are other ones that I wouldn't mind seeing, such as Wu-Tang,The Weakerthans, Leathermouth, Dr. Acula, Marilyn Manson and Protest The Hero, but they really aren't 100% necessary. I've already seen all the other ones I needed to (My Chemical Romance, Queen, Mindless Self Indulgence, Spice Girls [hell yes.], Horrorpops [Hell Yeah!], Taking Back Sunday and mewithoutYou.) some more than once. There have been bands that I was supposed to see up to five times (cough, My Chemical Romance) but things went horribly wrong. (Such as mothers thinking they were a bad influence [funny now she likes them and we listen to them in the car], food poisoning, fear that they were going to drop dead at the show AFTER the food poisoning, outrageous snow and the inability to get there. Thankfully I FINALLY made it to two of their shows. And now that I live in two different places, I'll get to see them a few more times when they start touring again. Oh shit. Tangent.)
Damn. Where was I?
OH! Bands.
I really do love the Misfits. There is something slightly 'b-movie" about them and it's fantastic. Who would think? They really are the last band I need to see before I die. With my luck, I'll get struck by lightning as soon as I stepped out of the venue. But I think I'd be okay with that.


Next on the list:


2. Get a role in The Umbrella Academy movie. I would go to ridiculous lengths just to get a walk-on. RIDICULOUS. Though I would LOVE to play The Rumor. But, I can deal with walk on or extra. Or even just scooting around the set with a tray of little sandwiches and redbull for the cast. I don't care.

I honestly think that I am supposed to be acting. I really do. I miss it so much and its something that is continuously changing. When you act, you're never just doing the same thing. Its always something different. And that's perfect for someone like me who can't sit still. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy cooking and baking. This is the profession that will keep me going and stable and guarantee a career for me in the future. Though, I would love more than anything to act.
I think I'm going to finish my associates in baking, then go on to do acting instead, because that it what I really want to do. I just feel like if I stop with culinary now, I'll never really get the job. I'll be stuck doing something I hate. I feel like this is what will help me get by in life. Unless I somehow become a famous actress. And we all know how likely that is. I don't know. I wish it weren't so out of reach. Being a train-ride away from Manhattan is fantastic, only problem is that it makes me that much farther from LA. Maybe someone with great connections will stumble upon this or something. If someone ever contacted me about acting in a feature film, I would drop everything but my pants and hop on the next plane to whatever location.

Hell, I would even miss the Misfits show.

"Antichrist Superstar" vs. "Queen Of The Internet"

"Just as the industrial goths followed NIN, the scene kids follow Jeffree Star,
who really is just a pink-powdered, ultra-femme, sparkles and frosting covered
version of Marilyn Manson."

A quote from my last post.


In this post we will observe the few similarities and vast differences between the two teen idols that both have been noted as "before their time".


Let us observe the physical.
*insert slide-show click here*

VS.

See what I mean when I say "pink-powdered, ultra-femme, sparkles and frosting covered version of Marylin Manson." ? The similarities between Mr. Manson and Mr(s?). Star are striking. Though, it seems as though Jeffree is simply a silicone-sealed generic Manson knock off.
Fascinating. I feel as though nothing more needs to be said about the physical appearance.

Let us observe the musical
*slide change*


Marilyn Manson

Manson is well know for his anti religious, anti society lyrics, attitude and behavior. Songs such as This Is The New Shit, Antichrist Superstar, Disposable Teens, Heart Shaped Glasses, and The Beautiful People have clearly communicated a dislike for the standstills in society and conformity.
Here is a sample of lyrics from Marilyn Manson's song Are You The Rabbit?:

So ask your self before you get in,
I know the insurance won't cover this.
Are you the rabbit or the headlight,
And is there room in your life
For one more breakdown?

You can't escape,
Can't escape
All your demons.
All you demons,
"Watch out, watch out, for your lovers."



This song is from Manson's latest album, which was release in 2007. It relates to strong human emotion, life situations, and relies on mental visualization. These common themes in Manson's songs are part of what has kept his music popular over the years.

Jeffree Star

With songs like Heart Surgery (Isn't That Bad...), Miss Boombox, Cupcakes Taste Like Violence, Plastic Surgery Slumber Party and We Want Cunts, Jeffree Star has made it clear that his focus will be on things such as glamor, "scene", trends, fashion, and elitism.

Here is a sample of lyrics from Jeffree Star's song Eyelash Curlers and Butcher Knives (What's The Difference:

Spit on the dance floor to know where you are
Slip to the beat drivin' in my pink car
Know you love
And I love that I'm Jeffree Star

Cameras are flashin',
everyone's askin' what I'm gonna do tonight..
Who I'm gonna do tonight..

We have our haircut, eyes shut we're already there
Don't know their names an I dont really care
Cuz I only suck dick and just to be fair,
You're not on the menu, you'll never compare

Songs such as this appeal to the newest trend wave of the 2000's. Glamore, sex, and vanity. This path has been taken by artists before, but never to such an embarrassing extent. Jeffree Star's music focuses entirely on trends and his attempt to be something new and 'scary' to the public.

Here are two photographs of each artist's live performances:

Let us observe the artistic
*slide change*

Marilyn Manson is not only known for his musical career, but also his artistic abilities. He has a vast gallery of watercolor paintings that he has done. His recent art show "The Golden Age Of Grotesque" sold over 30 pieces. Here are a few examples of his artwork.

Jeffree Star shows his artistic ability through fashion and makeup. He is a well known MAC makeup artist in California. He was discovered at nightclubs.

"Star was able to mollify his obsessive compulsive disorder with his mother's makeup and fineries and eventually this quiet desire for beauty got louder and louder; from this grew his unnatural and many say unholy desire to take over the underground. On weekends, Jeffree hit the Hollywood clubs, where he would dress in outlandish mini dresses and 9 inch high heels. This is where he met Celebrities that loved his makeup work and tapped his number into their cell phones. While other kids where studying and doing homework, Jeffree was in mansions and music videos, doing makeup and making tons of money.
Eventually, his club going discipline worked to his advantage; suddenly everyone knew his name. Everyone was everywhere, claustrophobic, smothering, and strangely and perpetually, comforting. Everyone wanted a picture taken with him and everyone wanted to know where he was going next. He now attends shows and kids maul him. He gives out more autographs than bands, and he spits more profound makeup advice than MAC or Revlon."

Example of his makeup work here.

and finally

Let us observe the intellect
*slide change*

Here we will observe the intellect of our two musical artists simply be the things that they say. I will show each of their quotes one after the other.

Marilyn Manson

“When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?”

Jeffree Star

"My life is just another reminder that I'm the reason
teenage girls shove their fingers down their throats and little boys question
their sexuality."

Marilyn Manson

“I never said to be like me, I say to be like you and make a
difference.”

Jeffree Star

"sorry if we can't all be unoriginal, but I have a
mold to break."

Marilyn Manson

“A lot of people don't want to make their own decisions. They're too scared.
It's much easier to be told what to do. Americans talk so much about being
individualistic, but they don't want you to be an individual because if you
think for yourself then you're not going to be a part of any trend that they
want you to be a part of. They don't want you to think for yourself. They tell
you they do so that you're happy and you're stupid and you're sheep. Anybody
intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit around and do
nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am. They're going to
be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed. These people are
artists. These people are musicians. They're taking it out and trying to express
it that way. The rest of the world, who are just willing to accept it, are gonna
be doing their everyday jobs, and they're going to be trapped in a rut, and
they're never gonna see it until the day they die, and they're gonna be
disappointed when they don't go to heaven anyway 'cause they were too stupid to
realize that it's not going to happen.”

Jeffree Star

"I'm everything we fear today among society."

Marilyn Manson

“I view my job as being someone who is supposed to piss people off.
I don't want to be just one-of-the-guys. I don't want to be just a smiling face you see on television presenting some vapid kind of easily-digestible
garbage."

Jeffree Star

"I’m a billboard, advertising your aging confidence,
self-destruction and sagging self-esteem."

Marilyn Manson

“The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to
accept. They'd rather sit in front of the TV and let that tell them what they're supposed to like, what they're supposed to buy, and what they're supposed to laugh at.”

Jeffree Star

"Hi, my name's Jeffree Star and one time God told me
it was unhealthy to be so popular, that's probably why I'm sick all the
time."

Marilyn Manson

“You should have to pass an IQ test before you breed. You have to
take a driving test to operate vehicles and an SAT test to get into college. So
why don't you have to take some sort of test before you give birth to children?
When I am President, that's the first rule I will institute.”

Jeffree Star

"The vanity sanctuary will keep me safe and you can
try to break me down but you’re only hurting yourself, just like you’re supposed to be doing. "

Marilyn Manson

“In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just
haven't been on the show.”

Jeffree Star

"People need to hate me because they hate
themselves. They want to believe the rumors about me because they don't have their own rumors. I'm here to stay, with my diamond rims and pink lipstick, so get used to it and worry about yourself before you try and be negative towards me."

Marilyn Manson

"I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing
control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I
always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society.”

Jeffree Star

"Sure, everybody wants to play God, but for me it's a
full-time job."

Marilyn Manson

“[According to an official statement,] the complaints are from religious
preachers who simply want publicity. Marilyn Manson isn't against God, but against organized religion, ... are just like any other heavy metal show, with
kids dressed in black with painted faces. They're not dangerous.”

Jeffree Star

"Half super bitch and half mega cunt. He is a self admitted boyfriend thief and makeup addict, he is a photo junkie and designer clothes slut, he is brazenly sexual and openly subversive; he has become a role model for the new post 911 America. The world feels like a funeral and Jstar is the high heeled embalmer, filling the world with reality and plastic mixed with
disaster. "

Marilyn Manson

“Is adult entertainment killing our children? Or is killing our children entertaining our adults?”

*end slide show*

Here we have compared and contrasted two alternative music cult icons. We have seen the difference between then physically, artistically, musically and intellectually, we are now able to form valid opinions on the direction that the entertainment of today is going.

“This is the culture you're raising your kids in. Don't be surprised if it blows up in your face.”

-Marilyn Manson

Mall/Maul

I've been to the mall twice today, buying nothing either time. Wait, no. I actually bought food both times. Anyway.
While walking by HotTopic, I felt the need to stop and stare at the store from across the mall. That used to be the place to be. That was where it's at. At least amongst all the "alternative" kids. But that then go me to thinking.
It started with all the 80's Guns N Roses, Billy Idol, Poison, stuff. It didn't do too well at first, but it got there. The kids that originally went there were all the industrial goth kids that followed Marilyn Mason like he was some holy prophet, or Nine Inch Nails. Either, or.
And of course, anything the goth kids do, the punk kids have to do, but in their own way.
Or something. So you have the two of them doing whatever, then onto the grunge kids that didn't wash for weeks on end. And it was all good.
Then something happened.
Somewhere between the death of emotive-hardcore and the birth of post-hardcore, the mall goths began to rise in the early 2000's. Slipknot, Korn, etc. And there was nothing wrong with this, until the constant message of death and self hate was being taken from the music.
Im not saying that the message of death and self hate is what the music was trying to communicate, but that was the way it was taken. That then began to morph into what would now be called "emo". Taking the term out of context and using it as something entirely redundant, describing an incorrect genre of music along with a kind of person. Now, mid 2000's the "emo" kids began to show up, further glorifying the idea of death. Not the idea of killing or hurting others, but the idea of killing and hurting one's self. Suicide and self mutilation became a trend. It became cool. Agony, depression and self loathing was a common theme. Within four years, the trend then evolved into what is no known as "scene". Basically the same style as "emo" (though dwelling a bit more on being elitists) but instead of cutting themselves with razors, they cut themselves with credit cards.* Just as the industrial goths followed NIN, the scene kids follow Jeffree Star, who really is just a pink-powdered, ultra-femme, sparkles and frosting covered version of Marilyn Manson.
I suppose that it is simply natural for older generations to fear for the younger, but honestly I do a lot more than just fear for the generation after me. A low price has already been put on life by my generation and the one before, and it seems to be rapidly going downhill. I am terrified to know what the next "trend" is. The next "cool" "hip" thing. I really am afraid to know what is going to happen next and what horrific fashion will appear in the next two years among those "alternative" kids and among the "scene". We will all find out sooner to later. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. All we can do is hope for the best.

*thanks to Jenny's friend Ian