Down The Rabbit Hole

I wish I were falling somewhere half as interesting as Wonderland.

Today was a day of much-needed adventuring and business.
After sitting around the house for a week or so, it was nice to go out for a little.
Yeah, okay, I wandered around the mall for 6 hours, but it was better than sitting home alone doing nothing.
(Though...that could have been some valuable Fallout time...)

I found some parts for my Halloween costume, got some more tobacco for my hookah (which you can review on my other blog, if you click to my profile) and saw Jackass 3D.


Let me tell you, Jackass 3D was the best 11 dollars I have spent in a long time.
If you're into that kind of crap, I definitely recommend it. Plus, Johnny Knoxville is my "From-the-waist-up" celebrity crush. It gave me a much needed laugh, which I was thankful for.



Sometimes you just need to watch a guy get punched in the dick, you know?

Ling Ling, my ass!

As humans, many of us work hard to keep our environment clean, healthy and alive.
We have National Parks, reservations, endangered wildlife funds and various research projects all to make sure that our planet will last forever.

At a very young age, we are told that we should respect the environment. You know, "don't litter", "conserve water" and of course "recycle".

We are also told that every being on the planet has its own special use. Every organism plays its own unique role in the environment and that all of it should be protected and saved.


Well I beg to differ, because I have found an exception:

Pandas.

Fucking pandas.

Those smarmy, self righteous bastards.

Of all creatures on this earth, pandas are the ones that serve no use to the ecosystem.

They do not produce anything useful (except for shit, which can apparently be made into souvenirs...), they don't serve as prey for anything and they don't keep any kind of population in check.

Bamboo population? Yeah right. That shit grows faster than mold on a week old burrito. Pandas or not bamboo is going to flourish. There is so much bamboo and so few pandas that they don't even count.

Pandas. Serve. No. Use.

On top of being useless, they're little bitches, too.

Everyone thinks they're so cute and cuddly,

THEY'RE FUCKING BEARS, PEOPLE!

Do you not realize this?

There is no difference between

and

They're both bears, they're both huge and they both want to tear your limbs off.

Just because they look like fat mimes doesn't mean they're friendly. Or in an invisible box.

Below is a video of a lucky man.

Long story short; fuck pandas.

Because I'm A Heartless, Sarcastic Bitch

Another list.

I used to say that I thought I was a rather patient person. As my life goes on and I encounter more people, this theory seems to change a little bit. Perhaps morals are just different from what they used to be. Maybe people have just stopped caring. Who knows. I certainly don't. There are a lot of things that I see kids (and adults, for that matter) doing that I know for sure I would have gotten in HUGE trouble for if I did.
Not to say that my parents were strict, because they definitely were not; they just brought me up to generally be polite, courteous and have manners. I must say that for this I am thankful.

Sadly though, I see how people act these days and it sickens me. I don't mean to be "hoity-toity" or stuck up, but at the rate our race is going, we're about to drive ourselves into the ground.

So, now, it is time for another list!


SKELLYTON'S SOCIAL PET PEEVES 1. Playing music off of your cellphone in public.Whether you're sitting on the bus, walking through the mall or eating at a restaurant, you should NOT have your cellphone out playing your shit-quality MP3's for everyone to hear. Use some headphones. I don't want to know your "Top 10 favorite songs this week" while I am trying to enjoy me meal.I once had a couple come in to Ruby Tuesday's while Van and I were eating, sit down at the table across from us and play music through their cellphone throughout their entire meal. Should I have said something? Probably. Would it have made a difference? No. Why? They were friends with the waiter. Go figure. 2. Take up two parking spaces, because your car is "the shit".There is no need for you to double park your shit. If you do this intentionally, you are a pompous asshole. If you do this accidentally, you are a 16 year old girl that just got her license.Another time, while at the mall, Van and I encountered another bout of douchebaggery. It was a Saturday afternoon and the parking lots were almost all full at the movie theater. It took us at least 15 minutes to find a space, when finally, low and behold, there was one! We begin to pull our car up only to see that someone had very intentionally parked on the line. This irked me horribly. If you are worried about your car getting scratched or bumped, don't take it to the mall. Don't take it to the movie theater at the mall. Don't take it to the movie theater at the mall on the Saturday afternoon. And lastly, don't take it to the movie theater at the mall on Saturday afternoon in POUGHKEEPSIE NEW YORK. I hastily wrote a note that said "You;re car isn't THAT nice, asshole" stuck it on their windshield, then went and enjoyed my film. The end. 3. Pure and simple lazinessLaziness within reason, I can handle. Being so lazy that you cause more strain for someone else, I cannot. Laziness and ignorance go hand and hand, to me.Guess where I was for this one? Yep! THE MALL! Though, this time I was working. Sadly, this happens on a somewhat regular basis. A customer comes in, hustling like their ass in on fire, and comes up to me. They do not say "hi", they do not say "excuse me". The first thing out of their mouth is "I need 'x'". Now, 'x', is usually a CD of sorts. Let's say its The Rolling Stones.
"I need The Rolling Stones."
Usually in this situation, I would like to reply "No. You don't. You WANT the Rolling Stones. You don't need shit." But I don't. I don't say it. Usually, to be honest, I say "okay.""You'll be able to find it a lot faster than I will, I don't have a lot of time.""Its under "R" for "Rolling". All of our CDs go alphabetically.""Where is that?""Under "R". Comes after "Q" and before "S".""You need to show me."Jesusfuckingchristmaythisearthburnbeforemeandsufferonethousandfierydeaths.At this point, I stop whatever I am doing, walk over to the very predominantly labeled "R" section and point to the 4 to 5 rows of Rolling Stones CDs we have."Which one is the latest?""I don't know...here..."I then pick up a CD and look at the date on the back, explaining that CDs have a date on the back. I hand them the one that says "2010""Is this the latest one?""Yes. Its from 2010."They then walk away without a word. Apparently working in retail makes you sub human.

This post is getting far to long, so perhaps I will continue my list later on.

Surprisingly Uncool

Today I would like to bring a sense of enlightenment to the seemingly very confused world. Perhaps its just Poughkeepsie that suffers from these horrible phenomenons, but just in case it is the rest of the world too, I will continue on.
Here I would like to remind people that just because you think something is cool, doesn't mean that it actually is.
Now, I by no means claim to be a cool person. I mean, honestly, I write a blog for Christ's sake. But still, there are some people out there that need to get a grasp on what is or is not socially acceptable. So, today I bring you:

THINGS PEOPLE THINK ARE COOL

1. Car-balls

I don't understand what makes these cool or funny. They're stupid and disgusting, plane and simple. Do you not have any of your own, so you feel the need to tack a set of fake junk onto your bumper? Come on, guys. Give it up. Neuter your pets. The last thing we need is a bunch of stray Hummers running around.

2. Tacky-ass Ghetto nails.

No matter what your occupation, if you have nails that are more than an inch long, you instantly look like you run the cash register at the local 7-11. And I am instantly going to assume that you're going to sell me a Slurpee. Wild Cherry, bitch.

3. Douche-Beard

Although it sounds like you might be a bad-ass pirate, actually HAVING a douche-beard simply makes you an ass. If you spent half as much time learning proper English as you did carving hieroglyphics into your head, you would be a much more respectable human being. Instead you look like you just allowed a lawn-mower to take creative freedom of your face.

4. Tribal Tattoos

Unless you're a Maori or fucking Tony the Tiger, you need to stay away from the tribal ink. You either look like a wrestler, or look like a frat boy. Neither of which are respectable personas for the day-to-day civilian. There is nothing else like having solid splotches of meaningless black ink over your body to say "I think I'm a bad-ass, so does my orange-tan girlfriend!" They're gggggggrrreat!

5. Plymouth Prowlers

A wedge of cheese on wheels. Enough said.



6. Keytars
Perfect for the kid whose mom made them practice hours of piano everyday before they could watch t.v. We all know that all you wanted to do was join a rock band. Just like we all know you will always be a total dweeb for the rest of your life. Keytar = significantly uncool.


7. 3-wheeled motorcycles

Too bad-ass for a 4-wheeler, too chicken for a chopper. Looking for the perfect balance? You didn't find it. Move along. You're a tool. Tack a side-car onto it and you'll be the whole hardware store.

I am pretty lost right now
in a way no GPS could help me
Kind of strolling about
with no reception
in a country where I don't speak the language.
I don't really know what to do with myself for the time being.
In between being very, very sad, I am also bored, confused and frustrated.
Help?

I think I came back to New York too early.
Should have waited another day.
But I had been gone so long that I wanted to see Van again.
And now I have to go to work, which I shouldn't, but I've been away for quite some time and have no money at the time being.
So I need to keep going.
and I need more jobs.
Looking at perhaps a bookstore?
That might be nice.
Since I like to alphabetize.

HUGERUNONSENTENCE

Look at how sexy this blog looks. Yeah, go ahead... look at it... take it in... there ya go.



Now that we have that out of our system lets move along.

Another day off today.
Hours have been bad.
Too much spare time.
Yet not enough.


I've been painting again, which tends to be a good sign.
Its been all water colors, mostly of pictures of sushi.
my cat is about to pounce on my hands, so please pardon any interruption.


Today is not going to be a good day.
I hate to have such negativity, but my stomach hurts, so I can't help it.
Ah well.


This weekend is a barbecue at work. I think I will be making cheesecake and mountain dew cupcakes.


Now, lets move onto something more interesting.

I watched A Clockwork Orange last night, and I will be the first to admit that I thought it was a horrible movie. Not only was it two hours and 17 minutes too long, but it made little to no sense.
Now, I know there is some hipster out there reading this saying that I am blind and ignorant for not understanding, and I am intellectually inferior, but strangely enough, I am okay with that.
I've read all of these blogs and reviews and websites that say that it is one of the most disturbing movies of all time. Most sites rank it in the top 10 or 15.
Honestly, I'd have to go with...no. Perhaps I am a sick, strange person for not finding this movie disturbing in the least, but I can;t really help that. The violence was not graphic, and most of the time the scene just cut away instead of showing what happened.
I suppose for its time it was very disturbing, but in this day and age, it wasn't much.
In all honesty, I though Reservoir Dogs had more of an edge to it, along with Requiem for a Dream.
Kids these days.

The most disturbing movie I've seen is Untracable. That is by far the most fucked up film I couldn't bear to stomach. It just freaked me out.
I can deal with Saw, which isn't really saying much, but for some reason Untracable really got to me.

Some day I'll grow some balls and watch Audition, but I think I'll wait a little bit on that one.


Moving right along, I saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid at the theater yesterday.
Could have been cute, yes, but it had one of the LEAST likeable main characters of any movie I have ever seen. What an annoying little brat. Next to Alice in Wonderland (the new one, of course. I'll touch on that later.)
I will admit that it had quite a few funny parts, and I would watch it again, but the main character was just a pain in the ass! Thats kids for you.

Now, for anyone that actually reads this and HASNT seen Alice in Wonderland yet, here are my thoughts on it:

It was worth seeing...just to see it, I guess. The visuals were spectacular, and they kept some of the original quotes in, but honestly, they should have gone all or nothing with it. The girl that played Alice was an awful little wretch, I thought. Thankfully they didn't over-do Johnny Depp's part like I thought they would.I'm sure I would have loved it 3 or 4 years ago when I basically breathed Tim Burton films, but after seeing everything he's done already, it was very run of the mill and predictable, with the same cast and the same music he has in every other movie he does.If you like Tim Burton, and you like Alice in Wonderland, this is the best way I can put it:Just because your two favorite foods are chili dogs and chocolate milkshakes, doesnt mean that theyre going to be any good if you blend them together.


Yes, that was taken from my Facebook, incase you were curious.



At this point, I think I am going to make something to eat!

No, Mumm Ra, That Is My Cheese Cake!

If my blog were a puppy, it would have died from neglect by now, or at least been taken away by social services. We still don't have Internet in my house, since money is a little bit tight. But I think one of my neighbors has it, hence the fact that I am typing right this very moment.
Life...is big.
As of now.
There have been a lot of changes.

I dropped out of cooking school, which many people tell me was a bad idea.
Personally, I don't think saving thousands of dollars from going to waste is a bad idea. At some point in the near future I will be changing my major and going to a new school. Most likely for journalism I believe we already went through this. I had been working as a chef for a horrible restaurant called All Shook Up, that charged 9 dollars for a tiny sandwich and didn't have ice cream when they called themselves a "malt shop". Thankfully I am no longer there.
I now work a mediocre job at Best Buy, but I am not complaining. All things considered, I am making money and selling video games, so all is not that bad. I've come to the understanding that sometimes you have to start from the bottom and work your way up. There are no cheat-codes for life, with maybe the exception of the lottery. But that is one of those impossible cheat codes that are really difficult to activate, much like the ones in Earthworm Jim.
Speaking of Earthworm Jim, he is now permanently engraved into my bicep. As I had always said he would be. My sleeve is coming along nicely.

Thanks to some awesome Black Friday sales, we got Left 4 Dead 2 and Dragon Age for outstanding prices. Van and I beat L4D2 on Co-op mode, but need to go through it on single player still. It is a good game, the graphics are nice and the new weapons are useful, but it isn't all that different from the first one. Honestly, it kind of seems the exact same in some parts. Though, I don't own the first one, so I'm alright with that.
Zombies tend to go in a backwards order for me. Always start with the second part. as I did with 28 Weeks later.
Dragon age is pretty awesome, but also very frustrating to me. There are a lot of different controls and settings that I really don't have the patients to deal with. I just want to go and be the most evil of mages. Unfortunately I have to listen to hours of dialog to do so. Alas, it shall be done.
\And while we are on the topic, I will quickly state that I got to level 30 out of 55 on Zombies Ate My Neighbors. No cheats used. Go me.

As of recent we have a new addition to our family: Mumm Ra our little cat-baby.
Well, he isn't so little anymore, but he is still a young one. We found him outside last month and didn't want to leave him. He came right up to me and was more than happy to stay. Now that he is massive and has become a master of parkour. He is also trying to eat my cheesecake.
And yes, the name Mumm Ra did come from ThunderCats.


Yes, that is a chicken hat.


My parents just got to meet Mumm Ra at our first Thanksgiving.
It was a very interesting and slightly horrifying experience, but luckily enough it all turned out okay in the end, despite our power going out an hour into cooking our Turducken in out electric stove and me being rather sick for a few days. In the end all was good and we had enough food for 30 people to feed our little gathering of 6.


I suppose that is all that needs to be said for the time being. When I think of something new and also have Internet, I will keep this updated.
Ta.

I Pose A Theory.

Today I had a horrifying experience.
As a Pagan and an ex-vegan, I still feel the need to treat nature well and with respect, regardless of the situation, but unfortunately work today seemed to focus mainly on the demise of small animals.
Working in a bakery, it is only natural to have mice show up now and again. To me, I figure as long as they aren't getting into the food and making a mess, it should be okay. Unfortunately, the entire reason mice go to places in the first place is so that they can get into the food and consequently, make a mess. Therefor the mice had to go. The proper way to handle this kind of situation would have been to order enclosed traps and relocate the mice to a nearby field, which we have plenty of. I do understand that there are 1. too many mice, and 2. not enough time to do this. So, in the end this means that they must be killed. As much as I don't like the idea of this, it is understood. Personally, I have no problem disposing of a dead mouse. To be honest, I am a little bit afraid of the living ones since I got bit by one as a kid. Though a dead one doesn't bother me. Since this is the case, I was elected head of Mouse Disposal Crew. Actually, I was the only member of mouse disposal crew, due to the fact that we have other things to do other than play with dead mice, and also that they had to be quickly removed since they were decaying and the whole place smelled horribly of dead rodent. Sad to say, I can identify the smell of dead rodent very well.
Moving right along.
As I go to dispose of what I thought would be one or two dead mice in snap traps, I find that my employers have decided to use the least humane form of trap possible: a glue trap. And little did I know that there were not one or two mice, but seven. Two of which were still a alive and stuck in the little gooey trays.
As previously mentioned, it was a horrifying experience to see the small creature staring up at me with its shining, beaded eyes, with it's nose and feet stuck in a thick layer of gel. It immediately began squirming and tugging in fear as I approached. Feeling there was no kind of polite way to dispose of it, I placed a paper towel over the entire tray, covering both the living mouse and the couple dead ones that lay stuck next to it. At this point I was unsure of what to do. Do I put it in the plastic bag and let it suffocate slowly? Do I quickly end it's life by stepping on it? I felt that the second would have been the nicer thing to do, but on the other hand who am I to play God and take a life? it is not my choice when something should die. So instead I tied it into the plastic bag and tossed it into the dumpster. Perhaps the poor creature will free itself from the trap and make its way into a safe dumpster haven. As unlikely as this is, I can hope. The only thing worse than the one still wriggling, was the small mouse that had to have only been a few days old. No larger than my thumb he stood stuck in the glue, ribs fluctuating with each panicked breath as my hand drew closer to pick up the tray. The saddest part of the whole experience was the fact that this small one began squeaking in terror, trying to escape. This was not something I would like to have to do again, although I do know that there is another glue trap in the back room.
Scary that this all happened by 7:00 am.
As the day progressed we had several, and by several I mean anywhere between 5 and 8 people woth arms bigger around than my head, come in to install our new proof box. How exciting. Lucky for me, my space was taken over and I had to relocate to a different table right in the way of every person that walked by with a huge piece of the metal box. Please note my sarcasm. We usually have seven or so people working at the same time in our bake shop, occasionally a dishwasher or another employee from a different part of the building will come in. Today we ended up with a total of 15 people in the room at once. Mind you, this bakeshop is not very large.
One of my co-workers then said "In a perfect world, we would be working at different times." Meaning the bakers and the men that were installing the proof box.
This then got me thinking "What is a perfect world?"
I pondered this thought for quite a while as I put danishes and cinnamon rolls on a tray.
I then finally come to the conclusion that we already live in a perfect world, everything is perfect as it is. This theory is still in the works, considering that I haven't had anyone to discuss this yet, but so far I can not think of a reason why this world is not perfect. Yes, I understand that each individual person is not perfect, but people as a whole are. But then you must break that down. Are only half of the people perfect? No, because no one is perfect. And if no one is perfect, then there is nothing above imperfect. We know nothing greater than imperfection. And if there is nothing greater than imperfection, then imperfection is indeed perfection. If there were anything that was indeed 100% perfect, that would then make something else obsolete. And obsoletion is imperfection. Imperfection is necessary for perfection. Again, I am still testing this theory and I welcome any criticisms and will answer or reply to them in later posts.

Teen Internet Suicide Volume 2

As many of you may already know, a few months ago a 13 year old girl committed suicide because of a fake myspace that one of her ex friends had made. This old friend had created a fake page, pretending to be a boy that was interested in her. This "boy" then told her that he didn't want to be friends with her because she wasn't nice to her friends, then started calling her things like a slut and fat. The girl took this to heart and ended her life.
The girl that made this fake myspace was assisted by her mother. So, basically, this woman helped her daughter bully another girl so badly she killed herself.
The news just said today that this mother has had her charges dropped and conviction removed.

I cannot explain how infuriating this is.

A full grown woman succumbed to middle school drama, created a fake myspace, and got another girl, her neighbor, killed.
If you look at their terms of service (which very few people do) it even talks about things like this.
"This Terms of Use Agreement...constitutes legally binding terms and applies to your use of the MySpace Services."


"The following are examples of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited to post on, through or in connection with the MySpace Services. MySpace reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in MySpace's sole discretion, violates this provision, including, without limitation, removing the offending Content from the MySpace Services, terminating the Membership of such violators and/or reporting such Content or activities to law enforcement authorities. Prohibited Content includes, but is not limited to, Content that, in the sole discretion of MySpace:

8.1 is patently offensive or promotes or otherwise incites racism, bigotry, hatred or physical harm of any kind against any group or individual;

8.2 harasses or advocates harassment of another person;...

...8.7 constitutes or promotes information that you know is false or misleading or promotes illegal activities or conduct that is abusive, threatening, obscene, defamatory or libelous;... "




Telling someone that they are worthless and that people hate them until they kill themselves should definitely be considered harassment.

You can read both of the articles, the one discribing her death, and the most recent one, by clicking on the links above.

It Has Returned

engrish.com one of the funniest websites of all time.

I just spent a few hours sitting here and coding all of this stuff for the new layout. It really isnt all that different, when it comes to the actual style, but all the colors and what not have changed. I haven;t dug into HTML and CSS in quite a while. (This is CSS, in case anyone was wondering.) I definitely get into this mode where nothing else really exists and there is nothing but numbers and letters and symbols. I can honestly sit here and stare at a screen for hours, just tweaking things around. It is a horrid addiction. I probably should have gone to school to be a web designer or something. I'm not horrible at it, really, and I certainly miss all the coding and what not. It is good stuff.
This is my 105th post.
I really did not think I would be using this site so much, but I am glad that I do. It gives me a way to vent or just say little things that may or may not matter to anyone else. Anyone could stumble upon this at any time and they may really enjoy reading these odd little quips that show up here and there.
I do apologize for the lack of interesting things. It really seemed to have gone better in the beginning, and now it just seems to be a day to day of my life, which no one is all that interested in hearing about. Such silly little things. A good one shows up every now any then.


anyhow.

Found a fun website

http://graphjam.com/

Have fun with that one.

And take note of the new little clickies at the bottom of this blog.
I believe they say "cool" "funny" and "interesting"
feel free to clicky.

So This Is What Kids Do For Fun These Days...

While reading the news today, an article showed up that really suggests that scientists have too much spare time and they are getting awfully bored with their jobs.
Apparently some scientists in Korea have created a glow in the dark puppy. A virus that implants these glowing anemone cells was used in infect the fibroblast cells of a dog. They then transplanted the nucleus of the fibroblast cells into the nucleus of dogs cells. That was then put into a surrogate mother.
The scientists have claimed that creating this animal will help them research and discover different diseases that infect the human body.


Because humans and glowing dogs are so similar.


This is what happens when intelligent people have too much money and too much spare time.
What will they say next? "Oh, well, if we can get it to glow in the dark, what else can we do?"
Soon we'll have puppies with lobster claws and the ability to shoot webs. Because that will help us learn about the human body, most certainly.

Oh, glowing puppy

in the night-time you will thrive

guide me to the loo?

Experience The Bittersweet, Taste Defeat, Then Brush My Teeth.

Made awesome scones today. Ten points for Gryffendor!
Today was damp and gloomy and I do not understand this weather.
See, usually, it snows, the snow falls, it goes on the ground, it stays there, and then turns to slush. Today its more like snowSLUSH! Before it even hits the ground. Its ground slurry. Just add to boiling milk, you'll have pastry cream. Ew. You know you're at culinary school when you say things like that. Haha.


So I had this long coversation with Vlad the other night. We sat and talked about death for a while, about being afraid to die because we don't know what its like to not exist. I decided that it can't be so bad. Everyone has to do it. Dying can be no worse than living. I don't know. It was just a conversation we had. I'm really not afraid to die anymore. Woot.



more animals

The Best Thing That Could Be Happening

Here is my 50th post. Just to give myself a bit of a boost, I'm going to go through the goods and bads in my life. Lets check it out.

The Goods

1. 
   
   1. I'm actually doing well in school for the first time in a long time


2. I'm actually enjoying the time I have at school
3. 
   
   I have some of the most supportive friends I have ever had. We can just sit around and bullshit, talk about important things, or go out. Anything.


4. 
   
   My family and I are getting along really well, despite the stupid shit I sometimes do.


5. 
   
   I have an awesome boyfriend that treats me well


6. 
   
   I'm starting to realize that I deserve to be treated well. This is new for me


7. 
   
   I get along with all my roommates and we have so much fun together


8. 
   
   I'm starting to get my life straightened out


9. 
   
   I don't hate myself as much as I used to


10. 
    
    I make awesome angel food cake


11. 
    
    I wake up with a smile almost every day


12. 
    
    I;m learning to work around the big problems in my life


13. 
    
    I'm teaching myself guitar and I love it. I can actually play songs now!


14. 
    
    My health is in check. I'm not really ill or anything


15. 
    
    I've learned to ask for help when I need it, I've stopped trying to do so much on my own


16. 
    
    I've removed a lot of drama from my life, so it things are a lot less stressful


17. 
    
    I've learned to start taking more chances and live life a little bit more.


18. 
    
    I don't feel ugly all the time anymore.


19. 
    
    I haven't smiled this much in a long, long time.


20. 
    
    I quit smoking for the most part

The Bads

1. 
   
   I don't really eat as much as I should.


2. 
   
   I drink too much, but I'm trying to stop.


3. 
   
   Michelle lives far away.


4. 
   
   I'm running low on cash.


5. 
   
   I wish I had better relationships with my siblings.


6. 
   
   I've lost quite a few friends recently due to arguments and dramatic situations.

Over all I would say that things are going very well. I'm happy with where I am in my life right now. Things really look like they're turning around for me. And, when it comes to the bad things, I can fix most of them with time. I can't control when Michelle comes back, but she will, I can't do a whole lot about the not having money, but I can try, and if those friends don't want to be friends with me anymore, there isn't anything I can do about that either so I just let it go. But, I can stop drinking, with a little help, I can talk to my siblings more, and I can start eating more, which I have already done. I get up and eat lunch with my roommates almost every day now. So it's all going to be okay.

Woohoo!

What's In Your Head, Zombie?

Van came over to visit today and we got onto the topic of zombie holocausts. (Does this seem to be a reoccurring theme here?) We were talking about what to do if zombies came and attacked everyone and I said that if I got bit by a zombie I would want to be killed because I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. He said I would be shot because I would be a really crappy zombie. But then we decided that if there was a zombie holocaust, there would have to be a zombie safe-word, so we would know if they were a zombie or not. You know, they would have to say it so you wouldn't blow their head off. We didn't pick one, but we did decide that the worst words would be "uuugh" or "brains". So, if there is a zombie holocaust and you need a zombie safe-word. Don't pick those words.




P.S. My guitar string broke and I don't know what to do! So sad.

Black Coat, White Shoes, Black Hat, Cadillac. The Boy's A Time Bomb.

Four years later I've finally gotten over something. I dated an abusive Satanist once. (Im not saying that the two go hand in hand, but that's just what he was.) This guy seriously messed me up more than anything anyone could ever imagine. I was at the point where I couldn't listen to certain bands or certain songs because of it, I couldn't read certain comic books and I couldn't watch certain movies. Honestly, I still don't think I will ever be able to drink Fresca again. I was the most depressed person you would ever ever meet. Within the passed two years, I finally got myself to watch Donnie Darko. Within the passed few weeks, I final was able to listen to Operation Ivy and Rancid. I'll still never read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, simply because I don't have an interest. After all that misery, fear and pain, I finally got over all of that and I'm happy that I can see a song as just a song and a movie as just a movie. It was a great feeling when I found out that I really don't have as much of a problem with the song Time Bomb as I thought I would. I'm sorry that it took four years for that to happen, though. Hopefully I'll know for the future now. We'll see how it goes.

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

I've come to realize that the people I admire most are complete assholes. For my writing class we have to write two papers on a person. One with good things about them, another with bad things. We had to pick three different people then narrow it down to the one that would be the best. My choices were:



Jimmy Urine
Marilyn Manson
Andy Warhol




Now, if those people aren't a couple of the biggest assholes you've ever heard of, then I am sorry that you have had to deal with more. Let us observe.



Jimmy Urine, who is known for kissing his fans for money, asking them for cash, and also for them to buy him things. Jimmy knows, and uses to his advantage, the fact that his fans will do just about anything. While I was at an MSI show, he took his microphone and claimed it to be magical because he could use it to make people do anything. And he proved his point by getting the entire audience to bark like several different sized dogs, meow like cats, and make buffalo noises, later says "Ah! So that's what those fuckers sound like!" He has admitted that his blatant disrespect for the crowd is simply for his own entertainment. Firing strings of insults into his screaming audience seems to get them more fired up. Perhaps "Mindless" really is a great word to used. He truly is an asshole and an amazing con artist. Though he seems to be lacking in intelligence, that is quite the misconception, considering that he has successfully gotten millions of people to practically bow at his feet, despite the distasteful things he does. And THAT is why I find him fantastic.

"Buy lots of our stuff. Give me some money, stop making more bands. Make an animated series I like to watch instead."

Marilyn Manson is an asshole on an entirely different level. Manson has an intimidating intelligence that give him the ability to put almost anyone in their place. His sense of humor is one that is undetectably sardonic. He tends to take the anti society route other than the anti-musician route. His way of going about things is incredibly offensive in a way that somehow manages to make the ones who are offended look bad. His words and actions reflect his dislike of society, the American way of thinking, and the general monotony of the public. He is an asshole, but for the right reasons.

"Anybody intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit
around and do nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am.
They're going to be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed."

Andy Warhol could almost be called an anti-artist. Though not part of Dada, Warhol had a way of showing people that everything could be bought, that money could fuel anything, and that to him, art was unnecessary while being completely necessary. No only could his painting be considered ridiculous and boring, but also his films. Warhol's film Eat is a 45 minute film that consists of nothing more than a man eating a mushroom.
Warhol took polar opposite things and made them equal. Two of his most famous paintings are a picture of Marilyn Monroe and a picture of a Campbell's soup can. Both vastly different, but both made equal. Andy Warhol considered money to be incredibly important. To him, making money was art and having a good business was the best kind of art. He admitted to being a 'deeply superficial person" and wanting to be "plastic". His vain love of money, his infatuation with the boring, and his ability to con people into eventually thinking that something as simple as a soup can could be art is really what made him an artist. And an asshole.

"I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked
the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting
money. "

Now, these people are not the typical kind of asshole that just cut people off while driving or don't tip (though I wouldn't put it past some of them...), they're the kind of people that others see as assholes because of how they blatantly surface controversial and dist respectful viewpoints simply to stir other up. Each did it for his own separate reason, and each reason has a lot of truth behind it. Whether a pop artist, musical artist, or performance artist, each is a con artist and in the end, a brilliant, brilliant asshole.

We Only Come Out At Night

If you haven't noticed yet, I have a slight problem with the media and the way it portrays things. The media has a habit of either warping things to seem really bad, or making really bad things seem like they're okay. Either that or they publicize something to the point of where it is dangerous. [See "Wasn't That A Stardust Fantasy", "Teen Commits Suicide Live On Webcam" or "Though I Did Love Who Wants To Be A Superhero" ]
More and more recently the media has been publicizing certain kinds of people that have been glamorized into being seen as "cool". My first example is pirates.

Since Disney's Pirates Of The Caribbean, pirates have been views as cool, funny and even sexy. People want to be pirates, people want to dress like pirates, people think that pirates are these wonderful, glamorous things. In reality, pirates are just thieves, murderers, rapists and generally criminals. They were outlaws that killed people and stole their things, raped women, burned down buildings and many other acts of violence. If someone were doing that today, they would not be viewed as a hero, they would not be viewed as funny, and they would not be viewed as glamorous. Granted we really don't see people sailing around and acting like pirates anymore, but the fact that they are viewed as something cool is really just damaging.

The next, and probably more extreme example, is vampires.
Vampires, as according to myth, are the spirits of people that either: 1. Committed suicide; 2. Were murdered and want revenge. Granted that there are several other myths, I'm going to generally stick to the "evil spirits wanting revenge" one for now. There are so far no real "positive" reasons why vampires would exist. Aside from that, vampires are scary things. They're meant to be scary. They go and kill people, drain them of their life and energy, and are generally very dark. Vampires have been given the image of sexy and seductive, which is more or less true based on the 'forbidden' factor, also their hypnotism, but the fact that they are now seen as "good" things, is really a horrible misconception. Vampires are not teen heartthrobs, nor are they happy and friendly creatures that want to be "bffz" with everyone.
To make matters worse, we have vampire people coming out in the open. Not only are they coming out in the open, they're killing other people. The publicity of vampires and vampirism is making it seem like being a 'vampire' is cool. I'm not going to get into full detail about the subject, but the idea of it is frightening. People are coming out and acting like vampires, and killing other people.

I really must pin a lot of this on the media of today. Between the news and entertainment, we're fueling people's minds with violent ideas and letting them think its okay. So, if you just so happen to be reading this, I challenge you to go look at the news and find something positive that has happened recently. And I don't mean "Man Saves Dog With Broken Leg" or "Kid Sells 5000 Boxes Of Cookies". Just try it.

Half Cheese, Half Hawaiian

Being a pizza delivery person must be terrible.
Not because of the driving, not because of the late hours, not because of the bad pay, but because off all the people you see.
It must be such a mental trip.
One minute you're delivering five pizzas to a seven-year old's birthday party. There are bright balloons and streamers, children running through the family's yard laughing and yelling, parents gathered around talking, and the birthday child grinning from ear to ear. You walk in the door to meet a mom or dad who, though flustered, smiles and thanks you, handing you a tip. The next minute you're back in your car again, driving to the next house with two pizzas. Someone answers the door, their eyes are puffy from old tears, they're still in pajamas, they're alone. You know they're going to eat both by themselves, they tip twice as much as anyone else would because they think that don't have anything better to use the money on.
Next stop: a family of four, the table is set, they're getting ready to sit down together, unlike the next house where a teenage kid answers the door, shoves a twenty at you, and closes the door as muffled screaming, crashing, and yelling escapes.
And that is only a few situations. this isn't even mentioning the football games, the college parties, the sleepovers, the bulimic, the lonely person that would love to have someone to share it with.
So many different people.

"Wasn't That A Stardust Fantasy?"

Again, with the Little Miss Sunshin-ery.

I forgot about the actual beauty pageant part of the movie, and how they have actual pageant girls.

Can I just mention how absolutely horrifying pageant girls are?

The ones that are six or seven years old and they have more makeup on than a drag queen.

The fact that these parents dress up their little kids like rodeo-princess Barbie and make them sing and dance and brainwash them into thinking that what they're doing is truly what they want to do is sickening. Being told from that young of an age that they need to wear make-up, they need to be skinny, they need to look perfect and beautiful and that they need to win. What miserable life are they going to have to live because of their mothers what want their daughters to be something they could never be. What kind of irresponsible parent would try to live vicariously through their child? They couldn't achieve their own goals, so they push their children to live an unhealthy lifestyle. It makes me truly and honestly ill. People wonder why anorexia, bulimia, intentional self mutilation syndrome, depression and anxiety and suicide are so common. It is because of things like this:

"To be a total package child, you must make sure ever part of your look is prefect."

-http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/282237/tips_for_childrens_beauty_pageants.html

They are expected to be a "total package child" and live up to impossible standards. Each one trying to "out-pretty" the other, because that is what their parents want them to do. It is so unnatural for a child to act the way they have to act and dress the way they have to dress. Turns out that aliens really do exist.