You Don't Even Want To Know

I will start by apologizing for the negativity that is seeping from every crooked letter and every punctuation in this post.

These past few days may have been some of the worst days of my life.

What makes it even worse is the fact that I can't even write about it here due to potential legal issues.

The other day I was flown to Texas to testify in court.

First I had to drive to Philadelphia, which is no big deal, as this happens about once a month.

From Philadelphia I flew to Houston, Texas. No big deal, right? Wrong.

The flight was connecting, of course, so I could get to my actual destination. Unfortunately, though, that flight left 20 minutes after my first flight touched ground. God knows it could take 20 minutes just to get off of a plane. Naturally, my first flight was ten minutes late. Fantastic.

Finally I made it in and went to the gate, which turned out to be changed. The new terminal was "all the way across the airport", according to one of the not-so-accommodating staff members. So, off I ran, taking the train for the second time to get to the proper terminal. Did I get there? Yes. Did the employee tell me the right terminal? No. Of course, I had to hope back on the plane and finally made it to the proper gate.

Just in time for the plane to be leaving.

I missed my freaking flight.

So, after more frustration, my flight was switched and I had to fly to Dallas. Then from Dallas, to my destination.

It was a nightmare.

My feet hurt, my stomach was sick, I hadn't slept in 36 hours and I had to face what felt like a reoccurring nightmare.

We will shorten this whole, lengthy story by saying I was driven to the court house, testified then spent the night and the next day in a large hotel. The court case did not go at all as planned. If anything, it was the complete opposite of what we were hoping for.

In the hotel, the food was mediocre and I found fleas in my room. Luckily I got my room switched and got to watch cable for a while, so that was good.

The next day I was driven back to the airport, hoped on a tiny jet, flew back into Houston, then went back onto another plane to Philly. That flight was filled with screaming, shrieking, whining children and a lady that chomped on her gum as if she were a goat.

The whole situation was a horrible, horrible nightmare that still has my eyes watering when I think about it too hard.

Another few days in Philly to recover, then back to New York.

Honestly, I'm not even writing this post so people can read it, but more for my own well-being. it just sucks that I can't even write what I want to.

Recently I haven't been able to talk to Van much, not just because of not being home, but because of work schedules and just issues.

He has so many of his own problems that I can't help but feel like I am a complete and total burden to him more than anything else.

Not too long ago we got new that we were going to have to move out of our apartment. Van will be moving into his family's house, I will be moving into my friends' house.

Thanksgiving is going to be crappy, and Christmas is going to be even worse. I'm dreading every upcoming moment for the next 6 months.

There is just too much going on right now for me to handle and I don't know what to do.

I can't get a hold of my best friend, either, so I really feel like I have no one right now.

Sure, I have my parents, as I'm staying in their house, but as soon as I leave here and go back to New York, I'm going to be completely alone again.

I don't feel like writing anymore.

What A D-Bag

First off, I have no idea what to write about. It seems like the topics for me to cover are dwindling.
So, if anyone has anything that they want to read about, feel free to let me know and I'll get to it.
Lets make this blog more "reader happy", if that makes sense.


Secondly, I just watched the movie Funny People, and I seriously think that it made me depressed. 2 hours of a sick comedian's life spiraling out of control? Great.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about depressing shit. I rather enjoy watching fucked up movies about drugs and gangs and crap like that. Not if I expect it to be funny though.


Thirdly, I'm about to slaughter my neighbors. Not only were they pounding on the wall with a hammer today, but now they're stomping around like a herd of cattle upstairs. Its really not difficult to walk lightly.


And lastly:

FUCK FOUR LOKO

*No, that is not me. My puke was blue and full of Funyuns.

The Sound of Settling

Apparently my last post was the big 170.


So here is the even bigger 171! There is no area code in the United States that is 171.





I've been on this kick lately, where I feel like my life is very meaningless. This is something I have been struggling with a lot recently. I feel like my failures greatly out-weigh my accomplishments, and frankly, this is not the way I want to live. So for the past few weeks I have been trying to compile a few different ideas as to what I want to do.


Long story short, I feel the need to do something life changing. The likely hood of this happening is little to none.


The best option seems to be joining the military. After doing quite a bit of research I decided on the Army. The Marines were my first choice, but since I have so many tattoos I cannot join. But that is okay, I have no regrets.


I have been looking into the Army, trying to decided when I would go, find what jobs I would do and so on. I was 75% sure I would be joining. The only thing that was holding me back was the fact that I would have to leave Van, and I really don't like the idea of that. I still sit and wait for a sign though, to show me what I should or shouldn't do.


Strangely enough, though, I think I kind of found it.


This morning, at about 6 AM, I had a dream.





Van and I were in a plane, waiting for it to take off. Everyone was seated, thick fog clouded the surrounding area. The pilot spoke over the loudspeaker, telling us that we were ready for take off. The engines started, the plane began to move forward, steadily gaining speed. It began to lift, as if slowly peeling gravity off of it in thick layers. Though, just as it started to leave the ground, it would slam back down, unable to break free from the runway. The captain came over the loudspeaker again, apologizing. He tried to lift the plane off again, but the same thing happened. We were nearing the end of the run-way. Finally, on the third try, the plane lifted. It accelerated upward, passing through the fog. It increased in altitude, then finally leveled out as it reached it's peak in the sky. Only then did it start to waver side to side. The plane shook violently as it began it's downward spiral. I then got a view of the front of the plane, as if a camera were stuck on the nose of it, pointing downward at the on-coming ocean.


All I really remember at this point, was the plane's rapid decent to the ground and the impact as it hit the ocean. I do not know how I got out of the plane, I do not know how I got my seat belt off. The next thing I remember is being swept away underwater, disoriented and hazy, my vision tunneling and my limbs weighing me down. Suddenly, I felt a hand on the back of my shirt-collar and heard Van's voice in my head saying "I gotcha...", then suddenly being pulled quickly upward. It was at this point that I woke up.








I feel like this dream means something, but I'm really not sure what. Its kind of making me lean more toward not joining the Army for some reason. We will see.





Now that I have gotten that out of my system, I would like to share something with you.

Archer Farms S'mores trail mix. It is strangely delicious and most likely very unhealthy.

BUT it tastes JUST like Dairy Queen's Pecan Mudslide (minus the caramel, plus graham cracker bits). I am strongly considering throwing some on top of ice cream. Delicious delicious...
I got it at Target, perhaps it can be purchased other places too. I then snacked on that and a bag of free popcorn while watching Kick Ass.

And as for you who are curious about Kick Ass, I give it a 6.8/10. Think a more comedic version of Watchmen, but with kids in it instead of adults. Also an hour shorter and no blue penis.

We Travel Like Gypsies but With Worse Luck and Far Less Gold

For some reason yesterday, I felt the overwhelming desire to move to Montana.
There doesn't seem to be much out there, it is definitely less expensive, and its a ten hour drive to get to Seattle, making it an even shorter flight. All in all it seems like a great idea. More peaceful than New York, and also the first place I'll live that doesn't have a ridiculous crime-rate.





Can't be all that bad, right?

My Power Level Is Over 9000!

So it has been a long week with no internet. Little did we realize that someone in our building must have wireless, because, well, so do we now.
We have lived in our apartment for about one week now and have successfully gotten groceries, furniture, and all of our things.
I have made deviled eggs twice. I have also lost count of how much tea I have drank. Many cups. At least 4 just today.
I have watched quite a few movies too and rented four today.
We also just wrapped up RP night. Soon I will purchase my own D20's. and they will be devine.
I did just find a grat t-shirt at thinkgeek.com

Anyhow, off to watch a movie!

Snail.

Moving out today, for real. Just emptied my ENTIRE room and when Vanny gets back from work with take it all to our apartment. Woohoo!
Its been a long, tiring year and wow is it nice to know that I won't have to go to class every day for a little while. I find it exciting. Over the next few weeks I'll be moving all of my things into the apartment and setting it up so it's actually livable. Hooray!
Going back to Philly today, my Aunt and Uncle are there too, havent seen them in a year or so.
Anyhow, I havent really slept in a few days so Im going to go do that now.

ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

I have 68 hours to have everything packed and be OUT of my dorm room. This isn't even funny.
We just got the news that there needs to be a deposit for electric. awesome.
I have 15 minutes before class. So much to do. Not nearly enough time for any of this. Thankfully we're finishing desserts today, tomorrow we get them all ready for grand buffet, which isn't too bad. Then on Friday we have graduation where we will be helping serve the food for the graduates.
And on top of this, I am getting an AWESOME ear infection.
Hooray.
Hopefully I'll actually have something positive to write about soon.
But. I will have pictures of the apartment to put up soon.
Maybe some pics of me and Van?
I don't know if I want all you creeps to know exactly what I look like.

(See, right here I would normally put a winking smiley face, but I hate using those in blogs.)
Anyway, gotta run.
Time to put the mirror glaze on some lemon lime curd & cream cheese mousse.