"Hey Remeber That Time When I Was Broke? I Didn't Care I Just Bummed From A Friend."

I realize that I like cigarettes

Because they remind me of people

that I love.

Until about 8 minutes ago, I hated the taste that cigarettes left in my mouth. And then I realized that this taste is what so many people that I love smell like. It just reminded me of tons of my friends, the things they do, the things they say, and the times we've spent together.

Wow.

That was kind of mindblowing.

Quick! Get The Necronomicon!

While playing with my webcam today I realized that I haven't really changed a bit over the passed five years. Sure I actually wear colors now instead of all black, but I do my makeup the same (meaning "absolutely ridiculously"), I wear pretty much he same clothing (stupid band shirts and crappy jeans) have the same old beat up shoes (chuck taylors) and wear the same belts that fall apart in a matter of months (studded ones, of course). And I still look just like every other lame-ass kid out there. Awesome. And when I don't look like every other kid, I look like a hobo. Mostly because all of my clothes are stolen, found, or bought at a thrift store. I wreak of win.

Anyway. I definitely didn't have class today, which always makes me happy. The less class, the better. I haven't been sleeping very much and I definitely woke up with morning feeling like I had a spear thrown through me. Then spent most of the day sitting around and playing video games. Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Always spectacular.

I must also add that every time I find someone with a similar belief system to me, I kind of feel the need to laugh and go "YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THIS SHIT!?"
But that's a good thing. I think that when you live your life half-way expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and go "You've been Punk'd!", you're doing it right.

So I can't help but laugh when people think the same way I do. (Probably because I'm totally out of my mind).


And I definitely looked down at the clock and saw that it's only 8:00 pm. SERIOUSLY?!I don't even know what to do. The roads are so iced over it's impossible to travel. Total. Suckage.

That is all I have to say.
Oh. And that I learned new songs on guitar!

Saturday Night - The Misfits
Lean On Sheena - Bouncing Souls
She Had The World - Panic! At The Disco (and I refuse to drop the exclamation point.)
Open Book - The Rakes



scooters, vacation, fall

Black Coat, White Shoes, Black Hat, Cadillac. The Boy's A Time Bomb.

Four years later I've finally gotten over something. I dated an abusive Satanist once. (Im not saying that the two go hand in hand, but that's just what he was.) This guy seriously messed me up more than anything anyone could ever imagine. I was at the point where I couldn't listen to certain bands or certain songs because of it, I couldn't read certain comic books and I couldn't watch certain movies. Honestly, I still don't think I will ever be able to drink Fresca again. I was the most depressed person you would ever ever meet. Within the passed two years, I finally got myself to watch Donnie Darko. Within the passed few weeks, I final was able to listen to Operation Ivy and Rancid. I'll still never read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, simply because I don't have an interest. After all that misery, fear and pain, I finally got over all of that and I'm happy that I can see a song as just a song and a movie as just a movie. It was a great feeling when I found out that I really don't have as much of a problem with the song Time Bomb as I thought I would. I'm sorry that it took four years for that to happen, though. Hopefully I'll know for the future now. We'll see how it goes.

Magically Delicious

Sometime last week I had a bowl of Lucky Charms with milk. Which is awesome, because milk is pretty hard to come by in a dorm. I finished my Lucky Charms and set the bowl on my infrequently visited desk. Now, my desk is so infrequently visited that I ended up forgetting about this bowl of milk that had turned and interesting greenish blue color from the cereal. honestly, I can't figure out what the color its. Its like..a like minty/seafood green, but its also kind of blue...but..its also kind of yellow..and..also kind of pink...so I really can't tell. Anyhow, I had forgotten about this mystical cereal milk that reflected the entire spectrum, and I eventually found it later. Well...two days ago. A few days before I had added more milk from other cereal so I could wash it all at once, but I of course forget. Now, I find it yesterday and to my surprise there was no mold growing on it, but the sugars from the cereal had caused it to now have the texture of brie cheese. Or really thick pudding with a skin over it. I used a plastic spoon to scrape it out and to clean the bowl in the bathroom. I assumed that the "milk" would have smelled really awful, but strangely enough it gave off the aroma of provolone cheese. Anyway. It was pretty gross but also fascinating. My bowl is clean, but I'm still afraid to eat out of it. Perhaps I will use a plastic cup today.

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

I've come to realize that the people I admire most are complete assholes. For my writing class we have to write two papers on a person. One with good things about them, another with bad things. We had to pick three different people then narrow it down to the one that would be the best. My choices were:



Jimmy Urine
Marilyn Manson
Andy Warhol




Now, if those people aren't a couple of the biggest assholes you've ever heard of, then I am sorry that you have had to deal with more. Let us observe.



Jimmy Urine, who is known for kissing his fans for money, asking them for cash, and also for them to buy him things. Jimmy knows, and uses to his advantage, the fact that his fans will do just about anything. While I was at an MSI show, he took his microphone and claimed it to be magical because he could use it to make people do anything. And he proved his point by getting the entire audience to bark like several different sized dogs, meow like cats, and make buffalo noises, later says "Ah! So that's what those fuckers sound like!" He has admitted that his blatant disrespect for the crowd is simply for his own entertainment. Firing strings of insults into his screaming audience seems to get them more fired up. Perhaps "Mindless" really is a great word to used. He truly is an asshole and an amazing con artist. Though he seems to be lacking in intelligence, that is quite the misconception, considering that he has successfully gotten millions of people to practically bow at his feet, despite the distasteful things he does. And THAT is why I find him fantastic.

"Buy lots of our stuff. Give me some money, stop making more bands. Make an animated series I like to watch instead."

Marilyn Manson is an asshole on an entirely different level. Manson has an intimidating intelligence that give him the ability to put almost anyone in their place. His sense of humor is one that is undetectably sardonic. He tends to take the anti society route other than the anti-musician route. His way of going about things is incredibly offensive in a way that somehow manages to make the ones who are offended look bad. His words and actions reflect his dislike of society, the American way of thinking, and the general monotony of the public. He is an asshole, but for the right reasons.

"Anybody intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit
around and do nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am.
They're going to be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed."

Andy Warhol could almost be called an anti-artist. Though not part of Dada, Warhol had a way of showing people that everything could be bought, that money could fuel anything, and that to him, art was unnecessary while being completely necessary. No only could his painting be considered ridiculous and boring, but also his films. Warhol's film Eat is a 45 minute film that consists of nothing more than a man eating a mushroom.
Warhol took polar opposite things and made them equal. Two of his most famous paintings are a picture of Marilyn Monroe and a picture of a Campbell's soup can. Both vastly different, but both made equal. Andy Warhol considered money to be incredibly important. To him, making money was art and having a good business was the best kind of art. He admitted to being a 'deeply superficial person" and wanting to be "plastic". His vain love of money, his infatuation with the boring, and his ability to con people into eventually thinking that something as simple as a soup can could be art is really what made him an artist. And an asshole.

"I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked
the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting
money. "

Now, these people are not the typical kind of asshole that just cut people off while driving or don't tip (though I wouldn't put it past some of them...), they're the kind of people that others see as assholes because of how they blatantly surface controversial and dist respectful viewpoints simply to stir other up. Each did it for his own separate reason, and each reason has a lot of truth behind it. Whether a pop artist, musical artist, or performance artist, each is a con artist and in the end, a brilliant, brilliant asshole.

We Only Come Out At Night

If you haven't noticed yet, I have a slight problem with the media and the way it portrays things. The media has a habit of either warping things to seem really bad, or making really bad things seem like they're okay. Either that or they publicize something to the point of where it is dangerous. [See "Wasn't That A Stardust Fantasy", "Teen Commits Suicide Live On Webcam" or "Though I Did Love Who Wants To Be A Superhero" ]
More and more recently the media has been publicizing certain kinds of people that have been glamorized into being seen as "cool". My first example is pirates.

Since Disney's Pirates Of The Caribbean, pirates have been views as cool, funny and even sexy. People want to be pirates, people want to dress like pirates, people think that pirates are these wonderful, glamorous things. In reality, pirates are just thieves, murderers, rapists and generally criminals. They were outlaws that killed people and stole their things, raped women, burned down buildings and many other acts of violence. If someone were doing that today, they would not be viewed as a hero, they would not be viewed as funny, and they would not be viewed as glamorous. Granted we really don't see people sailing around and acting like pirates anymore, but the fact that they are viewed as something cool is really just damaging.

The next, and probably more extreme example, is vampires.
Vampires, as according to myth, are the spirits of people that either: 1. Committed suicide; 2. Were murdered and want revenge. Granted that there are several other myths, I'm going to generally stick to the "evil spirits wanting revenge" one for now. There are so far no real "positive" reasons why vampires would exist. Aside from that, vampires are scary things. They're meant to be scary. They go and kill people, drain them of their life and energy, and are generally very dark. Vampires have been given the image of sexy and seductive, which is more or less true based on the 'forbidden' factor, also their hypnotism, but the fact that they are now seen as "good" things, is really a horrible misconception. Vampires are not teen heartthrobs, nor are they happy and friendly creatures that want to be "bffz" with everyone.
To make matters worse, we have vampire people coming out in the open. Not only are they coming out in the open, they're killing other people. The publicity of vampires and vampirism is making it seem like being a 'vampire' is cool. I'm not going to get into full detail about the subject, but the idea of it is frightening. People are coming out and acting like vampires, and killing other people.

I really must pin a lot of this on the media of today. Between the news and entertainment, we're fueling people's minds with violent ideas and letting them think its okay. So, if you just so happen to be reading this, I challenge you to go look at the news and find something positive that has happened recently. And I don't mean "Man Saves Dog With Broken Leg" or "Kid Sells 5000 Boxes Of Cookies". Just try it.

As a trained espionage agent I could tell that she was attracted to me.

No better way to spend a day than watching crappy old horror movies and eating cereal. If only every day could be like this. The choices of the day were Carnival Of Souls and Creature From The Haunted Sea.

Both were pretty freakin epic. Mostly CFTHS though. And cereal of the day was Lucky Charms.

And Im so being the creature for halloween.

That is all.

Half Cheese, Half Hawaiian

Being a pizza delivery person must be terrible.
Not because of the driving, not because of the late hours, not because of the bad pay, but because off all the people you see.
It must be such a mental trip.
One minute you're delivering five pizzas to a seven-year old's birthday party. There are bright balloons and streamers, children running through the family's yard laughing and yelling, parents gathered around talking, and the birthday child grinning from ear to ear. You walk in the door to meet a mom or dad who, though flustered, smiles and thanks you, handing you a tip. The next minute you're back in your car again, driving to the next house with two pizzas. Someone answers the door, their eyes are puffy from old tears, they're still in pajamas, they're alone. You know they're going to eat both by themselves, they tip twice as much as anyone else would because they think that don't have anything better to use the money on.
Next stop: a family of four, the table is set, they're getting ready to sit down together, unlike the next house where a teenage kid answers the door, shoves a twenty at you, and closes the door as muffled screaming, crashing, and yelling escapes.
And that is only a few situations. this isn't even mentioning the football games, the college parties, the sleepovers, the bulimic, the lonely person that would love to have someone to share it with.
So many different people.