VXS

Yesterday I really needed someone to talk to.

For the passed week or so, I've been having trouble sleeping. Going to bed at 4 or 5 in the morning because I just couldn't fall asleep, no matter how hard I tried.

Last night, I thought for sure that I would be able to sleep. We went to bed at 11 or so. An hour later, I was still tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking about Victoria.

To those of you who don't know about Victoria, she's a good friend of mine. We were best friends in 4th-5th grade. Then we started going to different schools, etc.

We were really tight.

She died about 6 months ago, back in May. I don't know who all reads, this, so I really don't want to get into details about what happened.

Lets just say it was extremely sudden, extremely unexpected, and extremely unintentional.

We were out of the country, when it happened, so I wasn't able to attend her funeral. I did, though, get to go to her 40 Day Memorial, which gave some closure, but not nearly enough.

For a while, I had been doing alright, more or less coming to terms with things.

Just every once in a while it hits really hard. Yesterday was just one of those nights.

Over and over again, I kept seeing my mom walk into my room and tell me that she had died.

It was unbelievable.

A few other things about the event kept circulating through my mind, I wish I could type them out, but again, I don't know who all reads this, so it's not appropriate.

Luckily a good friend of mine, Chris, is always just a phone call away. He was best friends with Victoria, too, so we talked about it a little bit.

That made me feel better.

It'll never get easier, though, I don't think.

You can face the realization, of course, but it just never gets easier.