Surprisingly Uncool

Today I would like to bring a sense of enlightenment to the seemingly very confused world. Perhaps its just Poughkeepsie that suffers from these horrible phenomenons, but just in case it is the rest of the world too, I will continue on.
Here I would like to remind people that just because you think something is cool, doesn't mean that it actually is.
Now, I by no means claim to be a cool person. I mean, honestly, I write a blog for Christ's sake. But still, there are some people out there that need to get a grasp on what is or is not socially acceptable. So, today I bring you:

THINGS PEOPLE THINK ARE COOL

1. Car-balls

I don't understand what makes these cool or funny. They're stupid and disgusting, plane and simple. Do you not have any of your own, so you feel the need to tack a set of fake junk onto your bumper? Come on, guys. Give it up. Neuter your pets. The last thing we need is a bunch of stray Hummers running around.

2. Tacky-ass Ghetto nails.

No matter what your occupation, if you have nails that are more than an inch long, you instantly look like you run the cash register at the local 7-11. And I am instantly going to assume that you're going to sell me a Slurpee. Wild Cherry, bitch.

3. Douche-Beard

Although it sounds like you might be a bad-ass pirate, actually HAVING a douche-beard simply makes you an ass. If you spent half as much time learning proper English as you did carving hieroglyphics into your head, you would be a much more respectable human being. Instead you look like you just allowed a lawn-mower to take creative freedom of your face.

4. Tribal Tattoos

Unless you're a Maori or fucking Tony the Tiger, you need to stay away from the tribal ink. You either look like a wrestler, or look like a frat boy. Neither of which are respectable personas for the day-to-day civilian. There is nothing else like having solid splotches of meaningless black ink over your body to say "I think I'm a bad-ass, so does my orange-tan girlfriend!" They're gggggggrrreat!

5. Plymouth Prowlers

A wedge of cheese on wheels. Enough said.



6. Keytars
Perfect for the kid whose mom made them practice hours of piano everyday before they could watch t.v. We all know that all you wanted to do was join a rock band. Just like we all know you will always be a total dweeb for the rest of your life. Keytar = significantly uncool.


7. 3-wheeled motorcycles

Too bad-ass for a 4-wheeler, too chicken for a chopper. Looking for the perfect balance? You didn't find it. Move along. You're a tool. Tack a side-car onto it and you'll be the whole hardware store.

Come In To My Parlor

Arachnophobia: the fear of arachnids, more commonly; spiders.

This, thankfully, is one thing I do not suffer from. My boyfriend, on the other hand....

So here today I have written a list to make the little 8 legged creepy-crawlies a little more bearable.

10 Things You Should Be Glad Spiders Can't Do

1. Fly. Yes, some can sail on threads, others can jump, but let us be thankful that they can't hover, float, fly, or propel themselves through the air. Because that really is the last thing that we need.
2. Shoot lasers. I don't think I need to touch on this any further
3. Speak. Luckily enough for us, they can't crawl under our beds and taunt us in our sleep.
4. Swim. Yes, there are water-striders, but none of them are diving through the depths as a dolphin would, jump through the oceans and rivers.
5. Communicate with other species. Last thing we need is an army of rats being lead by a spider armada.
6. Breed with other species. Spider-cat hybrids. That's all I have to say.
7. Mind control.
8. Create civilizations
9. Shoot barbs.
10. Implant their eggs into your flesh.

Just Your Typical Thundercats Ho

Today I had planned on writing a blog about how every woman has "Jaguar mode". No, this has nothing to do with "cougars" or anything of the sort. Jaguar mode is when a woman gets so incredibly irrate that when she yells or screams she no longer sounds like a human being, but like a wildcat singing a thrashmetal song. This tends to be a very rare experience and only happens when a women is as angry as she can possibly be.

To better describe this, I had clips from two movies in mind, but I couldn't find the second one that I needed. First bit from was Forgetting Sarah Marshall. There is a scene about two-thirds of the way though the movie where Rachel encounters her ex-boy friend and more or less flips shit on him. I found that clip and will post it below.
The second bit was from Knocked Up. In that scene, the character Allison screams mercilessly at a rather confused Seth Rogen in a gynecology office. Unfortunately I could not find the clip from that.
But, those were my two best examples of women going into jaguar mode.
It really is a terrifying experience.

Here is the clip from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It is relatively short, but the part that I speak of is only within the last 10 seconds or so, and she only does it for about 3 seconds, as jaguar mode rarely lasts longer than that.

Well, I suppose after all of that I did make the post I had originally planned on. So now you may carry on with your lives.

Good day.

Oh, and if you are curious as to what sound I am refering to, is would be this, which is technically a bobcat:

I am pretty lost right now
in a way no GPS could help me
Kind of strolling about
with no reception
in a country where I don't speak the language.
I don't really know what to do with myself for the time being.
In between being very, very sad, I am also bored, confused and frustrated.
Help?

I think I came back to New York too early.
Should have waited another day.
But I had been gone so long that I wanted to see Van again.
And now I have to go to work, which I shouldn't, but I've been away for quite some time and have no money at the time being.
So I need to keep going.
and I need more jobs.
Looking at perhaps a bookstore?
That might be nice.
Since I like to alphabetize.

PANEER PAKORA!

I'm currently in Philly, getting ready to go to sleep. Tomorrow we leave the house wicked early to go back up to New York.
Its cruise time!
Off to the Bahamas I will go.
Unfortunately there will be no way for me to update while I am gone, as it costs a WICKED crazy amount to use the Internet on cruise ships. So any updates will have to wait until I return.
Anyhow, the real reason I came on here was to rave about an Indian restaurant that just opened up around my parent's house. Its called Aman's and its in North Wales, PA.
It was wonderful.
I got a Boti Kabab, which was cooked lamb. Came with bosmati rice. Also tried one of their vegetable samosas.
But, what really impressed me was this;
My favorite Indian dish is paneer pakora. I love it. It is delicious. I could eat it all day long.
For those of you who don't know what it is, its basically fried cheese with a curry sauce on the inside. So, so good. Now, I;ve been to several Indian restaurants, and I have yet to find it anywhere. I'm not sure if its a regional thing, if its an Americanized dish, or if its just uncommon.
There was a place I used to go to called Greater India, and honestly, it was some of the best food I've ever had. But the owner was not very nice, so we stopped going there about three years ago. Since then, I have been on a quest to find delicious paneer pakora, and sadly, I have not found it.
Until today.
Whilst looking on the menu, I did not see it anywhere, and I was immediately saddened, but, considering that its a brand new restaurant, not even a week old, I asked the waiter if they by any chance made it, but it wasn't on the menu.
He said no, but he was then kind enough to go ask the chef, just in case.
And, the chef, was kind enough to make it for us anyway, even though they don't sever it there!
It was very surprising and very nice. I was incredibly impressed.
So, I figured I would write a nice little review, just in case anyone in the Buck's county area is looking for a great Indian restaurant. I highly recommend Aman's. And who knows, maybe you will see me there, because I will definitely be going back again!

The Busy!

Mostly out of boredom I have been doing some online RPing. Just because I can. And that is all I have to say about that.

The other day a buddy of mine and I went to go see Protest the Hero in Albany. It was a 2(ish) hour long drive in the blistering heat, but it was definitely worth it.

A great show, I must say. The first three bands were not bad. One instrumental, the other two were just your standard hardcore/metalcore band. Protest did really well. Sang all the good songs too. I am very happy that I got to see them. One more left, then my list is complete. The Weakerthans.

I will most likely have to go to Canada to see them, but that isn't a problem at all! It actually sounds like a lot of fun.

I think that is all I have to say for now.
So until later, have some art.

Some are just anthromorphic creatures. Im working on a set of zodiac based ones.

The Cthulhu is probably my favorite.

The Sound of Settling

Apparently my last post was the big 170.


So here is the even bigger 171! There is no area code in the United States that is 171.





I've been on this kick lately, where I feel like my life is very meaningless. This is something I have been struggling with a lot recently. I feel like my failures greatly out-weigh my accomplishments, and frankly, this is not the way I want to live. So for the past few weeks I have been trying to compile a few different ideas as to what I want to do.


Long story short, I feel the need to do something life changing. The likely hood of this happening is little to none.


The best option seems to be joining the military. After doing quite a bit of research I decided on the Army. The Marines were my first choice, but since I have so many tattoos I cannot join. But that is okay, I have no regrets.


I have been looking into the Army, trying to decided when I would go, find what jobs I would do and so on. I was 75% sure I would be joining. The only thing that was holding me back was the fact that I would have to leave Van, and I really don't like the idea of that. I still sit and wait for a sign though, to show me what I should or shouldn't do.


Strangely enough, though, I think I kind of found it.


This morning, at about 6 AM, I had a dream.





Van and I were in a plane, waiting for it to take off. Everyone was seated, thick fog clouded the surrounding area. The pilot spoke over the loudspeaker, telling us that we were ready for take off. The engines started, the plane began to move forward, steadily gaining speed. It began to lift, as if slowly peeling gravity off of it in thick layers. Though, just as it started to leave the ground, it would slam back down, unable to break free from the runway. The captain came over the loudspeaker again, apologizing. He tried to lift the plane off again, but the same thing happened. We were nearing the end of the run-way. Finally, on the third try, the plane lifted. It accelerated upward, passing through the fog. It increased in altitude, then finally leveled out as it reached it's peak in the sky. Only then did it start to waver side to side. The plane shook violently as it began it's downward spiral. I then got a view of the front of the plane, as if a camera were stuck on the nose of it, pointing downward at the on-coming ocean.


All I really remember at this point, was the plane's rapid decent to the ground and the impact as it hit the ocean. I do not know how I got out of the plane, I do not know how I got my seat belt off. The next thing I remember is being swept away underwater, disoriented and hazy, my vision tunneling and my limbs weighing me down. Suddenly, I felt a hand on the back of my shirt-collar and heard Van's voice in my head saying "I gotcha...", then suddenly being pulled quickly upward. It was at this point that I woke up.








I feel like this dream means something, but I'm really not sure what. Its kind of making me lean more toward not joining the Army for some reason. We will see.





Now that I have gotten that out of my system, I would like to share something with you.

Archer Farms S'mores trail mix. It is strangely delicious and most likely very unhealthy.

BUT it tastes JUST like Dairy Queen's Pecan Mudslide (minus the caramel, plus graham cracker bits). I am strongly considering throwing some on top of ice cream. Delicious delicious...
I got it at Target, perhaps it can be purchased other places too. I then snacked on that and a bag of free popcorn while watching Kick Ass.

And as for you who are curious about Kick Ass, I give it a 6.8/10. Think a more comedic version of Watchmen, but with kids in it instead of adults. Also an hour shorter and no blue penis.