SOOO-EEEY!

Its official. We are all going to die.
It's over. Its over. Its the end.
The apocolypes is here.
Z-day is en rout
we have met
the end.


SWINEFLU



The virus strain is mutating into something more dangerous.

Zombie aporkalypse, here we come.

I refuse to wear pants

I refuse to wear pants today.
The end.

Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

Awesome luck yesterday. I think not.
Within the first 30 minutes of class I managed to hit the floor. Campus safety took me to the hospital, which was, as usual, a miserable experience.
The doctors, after forgetting about me again, told me that I had passed out for absolutely no reason what so ever. Then sent me back to school after being in a hospital bed for 3+ hours. Quite a large amount of SUCK that was. So much for making carrot cake.
I don't even know what happened. I remember mumbling that I didn't feel too good, getting tunnel vision, then having some really weird dream that I think actually was about carrots. Next thing I know, I wake up and there are people standing around me, the school nurse was already there. First thing she says: "You're really pale."
First thing I say: "Can I have that bucket?" then "Mom's gonna say I have swine flu..."
But lets rewind real quick.
"You're really pale."


...

...naaaaaaaaaah.


"Your heart rate is very low..."



...really?


Random people from the class: "Your eyes stayed open when you went down..."


Maybe I'm a fish.


Anyway.
Took me to the doctor, they covered me in wires and stickers, kept asking me if I wanted a blanket (because there was no POSSIBLE way I could have passed out from heat?) and 2 hours later asked if I was dehydrated and needed to be hooked up to fluids.
Awesome. Way to go St. Francis.

So then I went back to school and ate some chicken tenders.

On the walk back from my dorm there was this HUGE hawk eating baby birds out of a nest. I wish I had a better camera to take a picture with, but all I had was my phone. Oh well.

Not bad for a camera phone.

But I swear, that bird was STARING ME DOWN.
I was going to be his next snack.

So This Is What Kids Do For Fun These Days...

While reading the news today, an article showed up that really suggests that scientists have too much spare time and they are getting awfully bored with their jobs.
Apparently some scientists in Korea have created a glow in the dark puppy. A virus that implants these glowing anemone cells was used in infect the fibroblast cells of a dog. They then transplanted the nucleus of the fibroblast cells into the nucleus of dogs cells. That was then put into a surrogate mother.
The scientists have claimed that creating this animal will help them research and discover different diseases that infect the human body.


Because humans and glowing dogs are so similar.


This is what happens when intelligent people have too much money and too much spare time.
What will they say next? "Oh, well, if we can get it to glow in the dark, what else can we do?"
Soon we'll have puppies with lobster claws and the ability to shoot webs. Because that will help us learn about the human body, most certainly.

Oh, glowing puppy

in the night-time you will thrive

guide me to the loo?

Yeah, Jigsaw

So I just played a game:
'flashlight or taser'
lucky for me, i won this round.

OH NO! GOD DAMMIT!

I CAN'T USE TONGUE-TATTOO FRUIT ROLL-UPS
BECAUSE OF MY TONGUE RING!
What am I going to do?!
Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!
Anyone have a spare tongue?

My Words Like Silent Raindrops Fell

Music can really do the silliest of things. It is said that smell is the strongest memory trigger, but I would have to say that music is. Yes, smell does trigger memories, but music triggers emotions that are attached to the memories.
I know that every time I smell fruit punch and popcorn I think of the movie theater that I worked at, but every time I hear "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" I think of the people at the movie theater and when this kid there was singing it. I don't know, perhaps it works in two totally different ways.
But, I know that I can no problem smell certain soaps, horse barns, or shampoos without a problem, but I can't listen to My Chemical Romance without gagging, even though they were a favorite band of mine.
I can also smell lunch meat, but can't listen to Less Than Jake.
Its really unusual how things work, I guess. Maybe I don't quite understand it yet. I just think that music holds far more memories and emotions than smells do. But then again, it must work in a different way.
I am rambling and not thinking clearly at the moment. Lets pretend I didn't write any of that.

I have marzipan roses to make! Boooo.
After being out of class for two days I do have bit of catching up to do.

I wonder what ever happened to Brittany Spencer?

The Future Is A Mesh Stallion

Okay, I'm putting there here just for the hell of it. They always make me laugh.




IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. When you're finished tag some other people to do it!

Opening Credits:
Dope SIck Girl - Rancid

Waking Up:
Broken Wings - Darkest Hour

First Day At School:
Why Walk On Water When We've Got Boats? - A Day To Remember

Falling In Love:
The Sweater Song - Weezer

Fight Song:
Roots Radicals - Rancid

Breaking Up:
In My Darkesst Hour - Megadeth

Prom:
Sailor Moon Violin Medley
(BAHAHAHAHHA Omg. I just have to laugh at that one. Definitely imagined the whole scene were she turns into Sailor Moon and theres that cheesey music and all the epilepsy inducing lights, but instead of turning into a superhero, warping into a prom dress. oh god.)

Life:
Tide Is High - Blondie

Mental Breakdown:
A Lonely Chord - Tsunami Bomb

Driving:
Bitches - Hollywood Undead

Flashback:
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

Getting back together:
The Fortunate- Cartel


Wedding:
Thrash unreal - Against Me!

Birth of Child:
Down With The Sickness - Disturbed
(You're shitting me...)

Final Battle:
Hey Brittany! - Forever The Sickest Kids

Death Scene:
Screenwriting An Apology - Hawthorne Heights

Family:
The Way She Moves - Forever The Sickest Kids
(Thats..a strange one...)

Future love:
When You're Around - Relient K

Past love:
Wretch - Protest The Hero

present love:
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

I Love Her/Him:
Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance

End Credits:
All At Once - The Fray


Not Too bad, yeah?

I'm On A Boat

I find nothing lucky about Lucky bamboo. Ive never seen it bring luck, never considered someone to be especially lucky for owning some, nor seen it dispense any form of cereal. Last I checked, it actually dies pretty easily.
Are you lucky if you can manage to keep it alive? Who knows. Not so lucky bamboo.

The lucky bamboo
dehydrated in the sun
is not so lucky

I just wasted an hour of my time filling out stupid things on facebook because I feel sick and can hardly move. I hate that I have to miss class again. At least Ill have more time to get my project out of the way.

But

One of the catagories of 'top five favorite whatevers' was top five favorite books.

After thinking for a moment or two, I decided on

Speak, Lord Of The Flies, The Giving Tree, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and Hard Love. All are very good books. Speak is my all time favorite though.

My mom got that book when I was in...5th or 6th grade, I think. And I don't think I read it until I was in 6th or 7th. My poor copy of it is falling apart, it has been read countless times and shared with everyone. The main character is so relatable, really. Anyone who ever felt so alone they didnt know what to do or anyone who held a secret to themselves for so long it hurt. Its one book that just stuck with me for my whole life. perhaps I will read it again. A few years ago they made a Lifetime movie of it. Definitely wasn't as good as the book.

I just got the author's newset book for Easter. Its called Wintergirls. Can't wait to read it.

4 days left until April 25th.
WOOHOO.



Wow, 1:30 already.

So many people on here have really interesting blogs with all kinds of good things to say. There are also a lot that are in Spanish, so they're hard to read. But other than that, so many people have really really good blogs. It is fortunate that they can find really cool things to write about.
Attack With Decay always has really good stuff, but doesn't seem to have a subscribe button, which is a bummer.
How do they not run out of inspiring things? Maybe they go outside more.
Maybe I'll go outside.
Wait. No.
Bad idea.
Goodbye.

Yeah, well today I was going to eh.ermmeh.mermer...*flicks leg*

How I managed to get sunburn while sitting in the shade for about an hour is beyond me. Awesome luck? I think so.

It might be time to find sunscreen that won't destroy my skin and start coating myself in it from head to toe. Ugh.

Thankfully it doesn't hurt, even though it will take weeks for it to heal up.

Many (if any) of you may be asking "Well what were YOU, blogger girl, doing out in the sun anyway? By the sound of it, it doesn't seem like you're going to be trying out of Survivor any time soon."

IIIII was outside. In the daylight (gasp!), watching my friends play baseball. Yep, I was watching people play baseball, sitting under trees, and still managed a to get a little bit of a burn. This isn't all that surprising coming from the girl that gets sunburns from sitting in a car with tinted windows, but anyway. Yes, baseball. And it was very fun. Perhaps I will watch them play baseball more often and bring a good camera to take better pictures. I only got crappy ones on my cell phone.

And I am currently listening to Madonna.

Hell yes.

And eating very stale peeps. But I feel like shit, so when I puke, I'll puke up a huge orange brick. AWESOME. Hopefully I'll finish with this costing soon enough. Its really very overwhelming, but when you break it down, it's really not so bad. It should go well.

Off I go. perhaps more to write later.

Tersen edriin bayar hurgeye!

Happy Birthday Genghis Khan.
We do not know Genghis Khan's actual birthday. It was said that he was born in either early summer or late winter. This makes me sad. no one even remembered his birthday.
I will make him a birthday cake and I will give him a birthday. Every Mongol needs some love.
I have decided that today is his birthday. I think today is the 17th of April.
So, the 17th of April is officially Genghis Khan's birthday.
Happy Birthday Genghis.
I iwill make him a cake.
The end. Time for lunch.

Pokemon "Kangaskhan" (like a kangaroo?). Perhaps to commemorate Mr. Genghis. Perhaps not. Goodbye.

I'm sorry Genghis

your birthday was forgotten

a pokemon, though?

Do You Remember How It Was When You Bled?

And I'm still a cigarette softly smoking on the edge of a metal ashtray
I begged this place to let me burn, and it whispered,
"burn away."

I've been in cakes class for two days now and I have yet to see a cake.
I have been coated in chocolate and grease cream, but I haven't made a cake. apparently I'm making 8 today though. I guess we'll see.

I hope today is a better day. yesterday was rough.
Ill just make some cakes and frangipan, and everything will be okay.


Oh, and a silly facebook thing
"pick 5 people you have been told you look like"
bahahaa.
My one friend picks
"Teddy bears, werewolf, chewbacca, Shaggy from scooby doo and Brad Pitt."

Mine was
Kirsten Dundst, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Lindsay Lohan, Ginger Foutly and Brody Dalle.
Go figure.haha.


Just finished all my homework. im coated in grease cream. Ewwwww.
And I am hungry. Again.
I swear, it really does take 3 bloodpoints for me to wake up. I be it takes bloodpoints for me to walk.
I need to get an IV or food, pumping continuously into my stomach. it's ridiculous.


Also, 3 of my friends have gotten engaged?! And 3 have gotten married?! I don't understand. Its really exciting for them, but I wonder if it is from the culture they grew up in. Going to Christian school and being raised as a Christian they have something to 'solidify' their relationship by saying that its what God wants, or God told them that they're supposed to be together. I don't know. Maybe not. its just amazing that 6 people I know, that are my age, are engaged or married already. Wow.

Anyway off to class.

Like a little girl on a bed that was years ago deceased

Facebook:
4 friends have become a fan of God.
Become a fan!

Even God has a fanpage on facebook?
This confuses me a little bit. I wonder how often he updates...

Clicked 'next':
4 friends have become a fan of Jesus.
Become a fan!

Er...
Clicked 'next'

4 friends have become a fan of sleeping.
Become a fan!

So, my friends are fans of God, Jesus, and sleeping...this...seems odd...
"next"

...

C.S Lewis...4 friends are a fan of C.S. Lewis


Then, out of no where

4 friends are a fan of Seth Rogan.

So, Seth Rogan is right up there with God, Jesus, Sleeping and C.S Lewis.

And those were all the friend suggestions Facebook had for me. I think Facebook should mind it's own business and not make such drastic suggestions.
Way to be subtle, Facebook, then way to try and back pedal by throwing Seth Rogan in there.
You aren't fooling me.


Moving right along.
I have quite a bit of homework. It makes me laugh.

"Pipe 4 different designs, write Happy Birthday and put a border, make a marzipan rose"
That's my homework. Awesome.

So I'm going to do that now.


Holy shit...

Song:The Divine Suicide Of K
Band:Protest The Hero
Album:Kezia

The Divine Suicide Of K

If I Had A Gun, I'd Pump Your Ethics Full Of Lead

Printers may very well be the spawn of Satan (...). Rarely do I ever come across one that works in a simple and efficient way. I somehow managed to just print out twice as many things as I needed in the worst format of all time, and still didn't get all of it done. One would think that after paying mumblemumblemumblesomeoddthousand dollars to go to school at this place, they would at least give us books or papers that had all the information we needed on them, instead of making us buy a printer, ink, paper, etc to print it out. The closest thing they offer is having a place where you pay to have them print all your crap out and half the time it isn't right.

New class today. Cakes.
Boooo.
I'm plenty happy sitting on my floor eating popcorn and mangoes and listening to Protest The Hero. I'd rather be doing that. Having a lazy day.
Ah well. I guess Ill go learn to make more cakes.

His life is an exciting adventure.

Bounding

Confusion strikes, oh deer
you are neither horse nor cat
but both sewn as one

Meowth, That's Right!

Scratch that.
I am so not sleeping tonight.

For some reason, I cannot sleep in my room anymore. I always had trouble sleeping when I lived in my house anyway and I never knew why. Still don't. There must be something in here that is keeping me awake, giving me these eerie things. There is always something dashing by out of the corner of my eye, or crawling up. I really don't know what any of it is, but I don't like it being here. A few minutes ago I tried to get rid of it, but nothing really worked, I tried what I could. The last few times I slept here I couldn't sleep and was up all night with the lights on. It's gotten to that point again. I can only sleep well in my dorm or at Van or Chux house, that's about it. It's not like my room is a scary place. Yeah, I do have a poster from the grudge and a porcelain doll that stares at me in my sleep, but those aren't really the scary things. I even have a Meowth stuffed animal; that could make anything not scary anymore, but for some reason, my room is just plain creepy. I need to get my tree friends over here to do something about it. This whole house is crawling with things. I don't even know what most of it is, I can just tell that it's there, keeping me from walking in the hallways at night. There is no way in hell I could walk around my house at night. I get freaked out walking from my room to the bathroom and it is literally 8 feet away. Two steps. Its just so creepy and gives off such bad vibes.

Sleep sounds absolutely wonderful right about now, but I keep waking up. It is horrid.
Someone come make everything better? My feet are cold.


Better think of my answers now because I know the questions will be asked. Like if I brought the joy I found in the confessions of a mask. The tip of my tongue's already touching the top of my mouth. It's meaning manifest in mercy burning down the house. It's true that tactless teem totem-poles turn tolerance to tired taboos. It's true that a bullet never knocks on the door, it's about to come crashing through. Walking one last mile in big steps as your alter-wine; doing it in tattered shoes that aren't even mine because my own are in a box locked up with possessions I can't have. Like the gunman with his future and the prison priest's golden calf. Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes and try to feel a trembling fetal life inside that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed. Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast. Like a little girl on a bed that was years ago deceased. Resurrected last night with a letter she can't trace, resurrected to be killed and maybe born again; I'll always be Kezia so long as any hope remains.

Very good song, but I do not like the way they pronounce Kezia. The way they do is probably the correct way, but who knows. There is Caroline (care-oh-lin) and Caroline (Care-oh-line), along with Madeline (Mad-uh-lin) and Madeline (Mad-uh-line). They pronounce is kuh-ZI-uh with a long "I" sound, while I pronounce is KEZ-ee-uh. Hm. They way they pronounce it does sound more biblical, which makes sense considering it is a biblical name.
I could seriously listen to Protest The Hero all night long. The more I listen, the more I like them. They really are one of the most amazing bands I have ever heard in my entire life. It would actually be worth buying their album instead of just downloading it. They are worth giving my money to. That will now be on my list of things to do. Until then I will sit here and listen to them happily and not think about the scary things in my room. Perhaps I will fall asleep at my laptop. At least my face will be warm.

YEAH TOAST!!

Total song count- 1473. Just on this computer. Not including the 4000 or so on my other one.

Go me.



just burned 9 mix cds.
Somehow ended up with a mysterious scratch on my arm.
Have been decorating Toaster Strudels like they're Petit Fours.
Eating preme peeps.
Been feeling charcoal wings brushing against my side.


Must be time for bed.
































http://digital---ink.blogspot.com

Awesome.

1202 songs with more in the file and more still downloading.
Way to go.




And I nearly pissed myself at this one.

Today, I caught one of my cats humping my huge dog while he was asleep... I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

Get Me A Muzzle...

We had the It's Super Effective reunion tour today. What a good time. Sitting around and bullshitting about my old high school, about our lives now, and about the injustices of life. And about Watchmen. I, of course, made the most epic of blunders, as usual.

"Have you seen The Watchmen yet?"
"No! I really want to. Though I heard there is a lot of blue wang."
"Oh. Ha, yeah, there is a lot of blue wang. Dr. Manhattan walks around naked a lot...
(A few seconds later)
It's really long...
...
...Wait! No! The movie! Not..the...wang...

...you know what I mean..."


Go me.

And again, with my blunders. I made yet another. In my attempt to speak French.
We all know I do not speaka Frencha.


Here is what I tried to say:

"I am trying to speak french I do not speak french But I am trying. I am speaking french to say I love you in french. The first time I translated this, It translated to Dutch. You do not speak Dutch. I am sorry if I wake you up. Have a good day, my wonderful and favorite hermit crab"



This is what it said to say:

"J'essaye de parler français Je ne parle pas français Mais j'essaye Je parle français pour dire je t'aime en français La première fois que j'ai traduit ceci, il a traduit au Néerlandais. Vous ne parlez pas néerlandais que je suis désolé si je vous réveille Ayez un beau jour, mon bernard l'ermite merveilleux et préféré"

I then sent that text message, not really thinking.
I then looked to check and see how correct it was.

This is what it really said:

"J' try to speak French I do not speak French But j' I test speak French to say I t' like in French the first time that j' translated this, it translated for the Netherlander. You do not speak Dutch that I am sorry if I awake you Have one beautiful day, my Bernard l' marvellous and preferred hermit"


A for effort, right?

Oh, Dairy Queen is open again, and they have grab bags. (see one of my previous posts: "Grab Bags" for more information.)
Definitely got some ice cream that's still in the freezer. It is not chicken flavored.

Oh. One more blunder.
I successfully managed to rip the tire open on the car. Along with scratch the rim and break part of the bumper. I really don't know how that could have possibly happened because I really didn't hit the curb that hard. I don't think my parents believe me, but that's up to them whether they do or not. I know how hard I hit something. It was no different than any other time you run over the curb. I honestly don't understand how it could have done so much damage. I did hit my head pretty hard though, but I didn't mention that to my parents, they probably would have just freaked out more and believed me less about how hard I hit the curb. Oh well. I'm just happy that I somehow forced myself to not Frisbee my dinner plate through the sliding glass door like I wanted to. its nice to be home for a while, until I sit down at the dinner table. For some reason, sitting at the dinner table just makes me want to leave. Maybe because 95% of bad conversations happened at the dinner table, even since I was a kid. The other 5% were either in the car or in some other place, probably in the doorway of my room or the computer room. For some reason all the fighting happens at the table. When I have my own house, I will not have a dinner table. Dinner tables just lead to bad things. I want to go back to school now.

I need to go work out again. Perhaps in the morning. My hair feels like spaghetti and I'm getting into one of those moods where I want to cut it all off. Hopefully I won't give in and do that again, I'm trying to grow it out because I think I might actually look pretty again if I do.
I got some new clothes today, but I really just felt like crap the whole time I was shopping. Something about clothing stores makes any shred of self esteem I had just disintegrate. I really can't wait until I am pretty again. I miss how I used to look.
More like this, less like I do now. Someday. Maybe after I get out of school and I start working more and having more of a life. Who knows.

Alright, I'm done being upset. Lets be happy.
I've gotten close to 400 new songs today on my itunes and I'm not even finished yet! Im going to have all kinds of great stuff to listen to at school now. And I'll go and buy some blank CDs and I'll make people mix cd's and they'll all be happy, and then I'll be happy because they're happy. And tomorrow I'm going to the grocery store!! I love t he grocery store! And Ill make my mom a tart for her birthday. She wont decide what she wants so I'm just going to have to make something up. I think Ill probably make some kind of cake and some pate a choux to decorate it with or something. I really don't know. I have an idea for it, but I'm not sure yet. Oh well, I guess we'll see tomorrow. I heard a funny song about Toast today...that's exciting, yes?

I think I am going to go make crepes...

The Pebbles Forgive Me, The Trees Forgive Me, So Why Can't You Forgive Me?

When things go wrong and I am not feeling so great about myself, or if I had a rough day, I sometimes go to fmylife.com and find things that kind of make me feel a little bit better.
I was just doing this and felt the need to share some interesting ones.

Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

That is disgusting. You would think that someone that works at an orthodontist would not be allowed to have long nails. It only makes sense. And was she not wearing gloves either? I don't know. that's kind of horrid.

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

Fantastic. I didn't know that was even possible.

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

Bahahhaa. We've all had those accidental text messages.

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

As absolutely horrible as that is, I couldn't help but laugh a little.
I feel bad for the kitten, but my god. If I've ever heard a 'f my life' story, that was it.

So, whoever may be reading this; if your day is sucking, if you're feeling miserable, if something is horribly wrong, or if you're just in a crappy mood, take this moment to laugh at someone else's expense, to know that someone else has fucked up considerably more today, and try to feel a little better.


fmylife.com

Thanks, Dad.

'she might be a tranny.'
'a what?'
'a tranny'
'i dont know what that means.'
'a transvestite.'
'oh. well,im not up to date with all this lingo'

Father Mckenzie

Socks are tricky creations. They tend to sneak off to places they don't belong. They are the spaghetti of the clothing world, slurped and munched by washers and driers. The Houdini's of all garments. So holey and mismatched.
The one thing that gets me about socks is not their ability to disappear, not the fact that holes are worn into them like Swiss cheese, and not how they tend to cause more static electricity than a cat with a balloon, but how exactly they're to be washed.
My mother claims that they are to be turned inside in and washed that way because then the outside of them gets washed. I beg to differ. I think that the inside of the sock should go on the outside, because the inside is what needs to be washed. The inside is what gets dirty because that is what is on people's sweaty feet. There is no need for the outside of the sock to be as washed as the inside. Unless the inside of your shoes are incredibly dirty, there really is no need.
The dirtiness of the outside of your sock is directly effected by the dirtiness of the inside of your shoe. The dirtiness of the inside of your sock is determined by several different things.

Dirtiness of inside of sock = cleanliness of foot + sweatiness of foot x time worn.

There are many different things to factor into the inner sock dirtiness, therefor making it more dangerous and detrimental than outer-sock dirtiness.
So, henceforth, I demand that socks be washed inside out.
Washing machine HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

gelée de chaux d'ananas

So I had another practical yesterday. Thankfully I actually passed this one. (Made 2 keylime tarts. They were okay) One more today. Its written. Its going to be lame. Then I have to make ham and cheese muffins.

Gross.

There is some lime jello.

Unfortunately there are 16 chunks of pineapple.

But I found a solution to that problem.

Moving along.

I will be going home this weekend. Not too sure what I'm doing. Making a cake for my moms birthday and perhaps also taking back a lot of things from here that I don't need in the dorm any more. I should do that, I think.

There are exactly 3 weeks left until my big practical. Hopefully it will go well. 6 weeks until I go on extern. I need to turn in my application, I just don't have enough references yet. I'm working on that.

I think I have a project to work on when I go home. The idea just crossed my mind.

But I don't think the trees are nice enough to do so yet. perhaps the next time I go home. Off to think.

Apologies for the lack of substance.

Maybe Someday...

Today sucked. I'm not even going to lie. It really really did. It was alright until I got to class. At that point, it all just started falling downhill.

I had to make biscotti for my practical. I fucking hate biscotti. No one likes biscotti. Fuck biscotti. With my awesome phonetic skills, I successfully managed to misread and totally destroy the recipe by attempting to make chocolate chip biscotti instead of chocolate. Sooo I had to figure out how to somehow change chocolate chip into chocolate. Little did I realize that one require baking soda while the other required baking powder. And on top of all of this, the oven I used broke without my knowledge. Needless to say I had some really shitty biscotti. Needless to say, I failed my exam. Awesome. Two more to go, though.

After class I went to the gym again.
It was later this time, it was pretty full. As soon as I walked in the room, I instantly felt as if I had transformed from human to meat. I walked in, and I just wasn't even a person anymore. I ignored this and just put in my headphones and listened to my music while I ran and lifted weights. But I could still see the people just staring at me and watching me lift weights and just look at me in ways I really prefer to not be looked at in. I really made me feel like shit. I was actually a bit self conscious as I was lifting; not because I can't lift much, but just because I could tell how a lot of the guys were staring. It really made me feel shitty. I don't even take it as a compliment anymore.
And then of course, I had Broski and Beaver stop by to hang out a bit. A few lines were crossed with some things that were said. Starting with something that had happened one night when I had been drinking and did some ridiculous and regrettable things that I honestly did not know happened. And of course I had a few of those empty blank spaces in my mind were filled in about what really did happen that time. Nothing that I am happy about nor proud of, nor really wanted to remember. Especially aloud in a room full of other people that honestly did not need to know about all of that. Continuing on, I also learned that I was the fulfiller of a couple 'guy fantasies', which truth be told made me feel absolutely sick and disgusted with myself. Strangely, at this point i can understand why I look like a half-rack of spare ribs to someone.
I'm going to bed.
fuck it.




Do you remember how it was when you bled? When you loved and burned in those flames that you've kept because Vesta's long been sleeping . And now you've come to accept that your anatomy defines more than a few of the gaping holes in our social fabric; more than a few one night stands, more than a few prison bars melted into wedding bands.
We've made you all the peasants and we've made ourselves the kings, our queens are still subordinate as an angel without wings .We make it easy to belong which means it's easy to be wrong "Put some plastic in your tits, and you'd look better as a blond." I remember when you were hopeful and you never thought your life would be lived inside a coffin with a moral sacrifice and a million social obligations, labels and expectations. You were young and modern seventeen in vogue and vague pursuit of a cosmopolitan dream. When you bled on the bed as you fed those expectations as a whore and not a human, you embraced with hesitation the very parameters of all you can be; not a mother, not an aunt, not a sister who's not subdued, because dignity's not physical and your flesh means more than you. I know we'll wake up one day with a gun to the back of our brains. You'll be asking for your rib and I'll smile and call you brave. Maybe someday when this bloody skull has dried I'll know our city is in ruins when our greatest source of pride is a monument of dicks and ribs and gender crowns we wore where underneath, a plaque will read, "No woman is a whore."

Band: Protest The Hero
Song: Turn Soonest To The Sea
Album: Kezia

turn soonest to the sea - Protest the Hero

*edit
And I just found out that Protest The Hero is playing with The Number 12 Looks Like You in the city on May 9th. Hooooolllyyyyy shit. Forget going to see GWAR. I am saving all my money and trecking my ass down there. Best. Line-up. Ever. (Misery Signals, Scales The Summit, Falls From Grace will also be there.) Ohgodohgodohgod.

I'm Fucking Amy Winehouse

Cookie practical today.
Who would have thought that there would be a school where your final exam was to make cookies.
I guess I really can't complain too much.
But then again, who would have thought that there would be a culinary school with students that are starving all the time.

I am very proud of myself for going to the gym again. Perhaps I will go again after class today. Soon I shall be able to lift small cars.
Ir at least bend coat-hangers without hurting myself.
I always feel really.... special when I go to the gym.
I'm so damn lanky that I just look ridiculous. And there are people that actually know how to use the equipment, unlike me. They're gracefully doing bent arm flies as I'm tripping and stumbling and getting tangled in the tension lines of the lifting machines and vaguely resembling on gimpy ostrich as I run on a treadmill. Oh yes.
But I digress.
At least I get somewhat into shape. (stringy is a shape, right?)

And of course I can't just go to the gym to work out, I have to do some kind of strange experiment. This one was me figuring what kind of music was the b est (and worst) to run to.
I generally stick to some form of metal or something electronic. I did not find a best kind of music, but the best song, by far, was My Sharona, covered by The Number 12 Looks Like You.
I then discovered that any kind of mathcore is impossible because the tempo changes so much that you start tripping. Protest The Hero"s Turn Soonest To The Sea work well for lifting weights(as well as amping like mad crazy), as does Marilyn Manson's This Is The New Shit.
It was a good time, I must say, and I think Ill have to go work out again soonly.
But, I do have an exam to need to be getting to, so I am going to sign out for now.
Good day.

Oh Wow, Fish.

There are so many strange fish that live in the ocean. I really do not understand them. For some reason my roommate and Paul were looking up pictures of all of these gigantic fish that people have found, and to be honest, its absolutely terrifying. Thousand pound giant squids, 700 pound mako sharks, white orca whales, and jellyfish that make horses look tiny. I just can't believe it. How can something so big live for so long without anyone knowing its there? All kinds of giant creatures are just chillin in the water, mindin their own business, and then out of nowhere someone finds them and its a huge, miraculous discovery. Its just really strange that something like that can just stay in hiding for years. It also confuses me that we keep finding new animals. You would think after the thousands of years that we've been here, we would have found everything by now. I guess not. it really just bugs me out that we're STILL finding new things. When will we find everything?


Also, one of the stories on AOL says "Man Speared In Head is Done Fishing."
No shit.
He's probably done walking and breathing too.

C is for...

like bamboo torture
chocolate chips under the nails
a sweet Vietnam

Every day I dread going to this class. Cookies. Cookies, cookies, cookies. Cookies.
Cookies.
I can not deal with them anymore. I am halfway through the block being over, which is a good thing, but never the less.
I cannot believe that I am spending all of this time and money to not get any better at baking...cookies.
Honestly, I like the ones I make at home better. I feel like I am learning absolutely nothing. It seems to be a waste of time. And I definitely almost dropped a knife through my leg yesterday. Somehow it flipped over and landed handle-down. Then I almost stabbed a guy that went running by me without warning. Bad call.
Perhaps the next class with be better.
My goal is to go to the store and get gum paste and practice more so I can get better at making flowers and things so I will do better if I get my extern. Hopefully that will all work out.
But enough about school. That subject grows wearisome after a while.


If I were a superhero, I would be Fever Cat.


"Who is Fever Cat?" You ask?
Fever Cat is the ultimate superhero!
Kind of.
Not really.
Here is a picture.
Oh the awesome that she is. Pouncing unsuccessfully from treebrance to treebranch, infecting small children with strep throat and the flu, drinking ungodly amounts of orange juice, just to throw it up on your favorite shoes in a few hours. My mom says that Stan Lee might buy it. Ill have to pitch it to him.


I am currently listening to the Misfits yet again. I have a playlist of songs that Im working on learning how to play on guitar, Saturday Night was one of them. I learned it though and now play it acoustic sometimes. Someday I might actually work up the guts to sing in front of people. That is highly, highly unlikely. I believe I will have to be mildly inebriated to do that.
Someday.


I really feel like Im just writing the same things over and over again on here. I really with I could think of something better to write about. I need to go back and reread the things that I used to write about so I can get a better feel of what is more interesting, because honestly, no one wants to hear about what I'm doing with my life or how my day went. I have a feeling people would rather read about zombie attacks or mall goths. I don't know when the next post about reality TV shows will be, considering I don't own a television that plays TV shows. it only plays video games and movies. But really, it just seems to be collecting dust, because I rarely use it. I really don't like televisions, they rot the mind. Though it would be nice to be more informed. Apparently there was a salmonella outbreak in pistachios. I wish I had known this before I ate them. So, if there are no posts for a while....

blame the pistachios.


Until then!