Saturday, February 28, 2009
I Do Not Exist!
I hung out with Hilda, Jackie, Jay, and Vlad and we read cards and danced and talked and it was great. Then Van came over and Hilda, Jackie, Jay and Vlad went to a party.
Hilda teaches me spanish sometimes! its really fun, I hope to learn more. She will teach me spanish, I will teacher her tarot. She has very strong energies.
I had my practical yesterday. I got on A on the written and an A on the baking part. I made a spongecake and remember to put the oil and vanilla in it this time (forgot the day before!) got an 8/8 on it and my chef said "wow, this is perfect. I couldn't make one better" then I got a 7.5/8 on my pastry cream, and then 6.5/8 on my pate a choux. So I got an A. I took my spongecakes and just made a 4 layer cake with the pastry cream and Van is going to bring chocolate icing so I can frost it and make a 4 layer boston cream cake. Haha. Yay cake!
I was just thinking about live TV. What happens if someone on live tv does something that needs to be censored? How do they do that?
And I just discovered perhaps the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. http://www.faeriecon.com/
Its in philadelphia. Or, philadelphia has one. The photographs are amazing.
I think I shall go sometime, only if Michelle will go with me!!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Soup&Pants&FriedRice&Cake&Icecream&Bubbles&CDs&Strippers
Sometimes during the week, my buddy Vlad and I will sit around and watch movies and just have a great time. Yesterday we just sat in my room and blew bubbles and listened to music and ate cereal. it was really an awesome time. We wrote a wall of funny things that have happened and that we have said. Then we took a whole bunch of pictures. Today he gave me a sheet of paper with all of them printed on it. It was really great.
Girls night was on Friday. That was really fun. My roommates and I just watched Knocked Up and sat around and ate icecream and talked and had a great time. Some kid gave me shrimp fried rice and it was fantastic.
And then, last night, I went to Zac's birthday party. It was pretty awesome. I got in a borderline fist-fight with Zac and am covered in bruises and rug burn, Van some how ended up naked in the kitchen as my friend/brother walked in, Chux's mom tried to get with me, I ended up covered in green icing, and I have a new-found love for baked ziti. It was a really great time. I made a mix CD for Zac and it is freaking awesome. it goes something like this:
- Vampire Breath - Dr. Acula
- Safety Song -Tsunami Bomb
- Open Book - The Rakes
- Time Bomb - Rancid
- Love Demon - Los Gatos Locos
- Brown Eyed Girl -Reel Big Fish
- Julia - The Horrorpops
- Gentlemen - mewithoutYou
- Pretty Rave Girl - I Am X-Ray
- The Beer - Kimya Dawson
- Lean on Sheena - Bouncing Souls
- I Can Walk On Water, I Can Fly - Basshunter
- Hypnotized - Notorious B.I.G
- Your Retro Career Melted - The Faint
- Bruises - Chairlift
- Darkwave Surfer -Aural Vampire
- Days Go By - Dirty Vegas
- Gunpowder: A Ballet -Dr. Manhattan
- (this one was a secret song, I didn't write what it was on the list. its Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley)
Each song gets longer and longer as the CD goes on. its pretty awesome.
Then, this morning, I left from the party with Van and we went out to get breakfast. As I ate my sandwich, this old lady kept staring at me and wouldn't leave me alone. It was so incredibly frustrating and awkward. She kept looking at me as if I were the Antichrist or something similar. I nearly got up and started strip-dancing on her table, just to be obnoxious, but I didn't. Someday I will do something like that. but until then I shall sleep and it will be wonderful. Goodnight, blog.
OH! Today was Soup and Pants day, too and Vlad and I watched Stranger Than Fiction. Gotta love Maggie Gyllenhaal. She is delicious. A delicious ginger baker with tattoos. That will be me someday!
Friday, February 20, 2009
"A magician makes the visible invisible. A mime maks the invisble visible.”
OH!
Those Pies Sure Do Put Up A Fight, Chef...
"Those pie sure do put up a fight, chef..."
"Yes. They do."
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Experience The Bittersweet, Taste Defeat, Then Brush My Teeth.
Today was damp and gloomy and I do not understand this weather.
See, usually, it snows, the snow falls, it goes on the ground, it stays there, and then turns to slush. Today its more like snowSLUSH! Before it even hits the ground. Its ground slurry. Just add to boiling milk, you'll have pastry cream. Ew. You know you're at culinary school when you say things like that. Haha.
So I had this long coversation with Vlad the other night. We sat and talked about death for a while, about being afraid to die because we don't know what its like to not exist. I decided that it can't be so bad. Everyone has to do it. Dying can be no worse than living. I don't know. It was just a conversation we had. I'm really not afraid to die anymore. Woot.
more animals
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Beer by Kimya Dawson
The Best Thing That Could Be Happening
- 1. I'm actually doing well in school for the first time in a long time
- I'm actually enjoying the time I have at school
- I have some of the most supportive friends I have ever had. We can just sit around and bullshit, talk about important things, or go out. Anything.
- My family and I are getting along really well, despite the stupid shit I sometimes do.
- I have an awesome boyfriend that treats me well
- I'm starting to realize that I deserve to be treated well. This is new for me
- I get along with all my roommates and we have so much fun together
- I'm starting to get my life straightened out
- I don't hate myself as much as I used to
- I make awesome angel food cake
- I wake up with a smile almost every day
- I;m learning to work around the big problems in my life
- I'm teaching myself guitar and I love it. I can actually play songs now!
- My health is in check. I'm not really ill or anything
- I've learned to ask for help when I need it, I've stopped trying to do so much on my own
- I've removed a lot of drama from my life, so it things are a lot less stressful
- I've learned to start taking more chances and live life a little bit more.
- I don't feel ugly all the time anymore.
- I haven't smiled this much in a long, long time.
- I quit smoking for the most part
The Bads
- I don't really eat as much as I should.
- I drink too much, but I'm trying to stop.
- Michelle lives far away.
- I'm running low on cash.
- I wish I had better relationships with my siblings.
- I've lost quite a few friends recently due to arguments and dramatic situations.
Over all I would say that things are going very well. I'm happy with where I am in my life right now. Things really look like they're turning around for me. And, when it comes to the bad things, I can fix most of them with time. I can't control when Michelle comes back, but she will, I can't do a whole lot about the not having money, but I can try, and if those friends don't want to be friends with me anymore, there isn't anything I can do about that either so I just let it go. But, I can stop drinking, with a little help, I can talk to my siblings more, and I can start eating more, which I have already done. I get up and eat lunch with my roommates almost every day now. So it's all going to be okay.
Woohoo!
Monday, February 16, 2009
What's In Your Head, Zombie?
P.S. My guitar string broke and I don't know what to do! So sad.
Every Saint Has Past, Every Sinner Has A Future
IN A STATION OF THE METRO
Petals on a wet black bough.
Yesterday I decided to listen to Tsunami Bomb for the first time in a while. I really enjoy Tsunami Bomb and was really really sad when they broke up. Well it turns out that they got back together for one last benefit show in January. I wish I had known about it then, I would have tried to go! But, for my birthday I asked for their benefit show t-shit. All the money goes to help this woman pay for medical expenses. There are only 3 things I really want for my birthday this year, and they would be 1. that tshirt; 2. an acoustic guitar; 3. Money for my tattoos. I wouldn't complain about getting a pasta roller either, but that's a bit of a stretch.
Watched SLC Punk again yesterday with Shannerpuss and Vlad. got some Chinese food and totally snarfed it. It was awesome. A nice chill day.
The day before was Valentine's Day and honestly, it was awesome. I've never had a real Valentine's Day but this year I did and it was great. We went rollerskating, which I had never done before, so that was an adventure! And I didn't case it and fall on my ass at all! Woohoo! And then we went out to dinner. Which turned out to be my friend Chux's house. Van had set up the living room like a restaurant and Zac was the waiter and Leafy and Chux cooked grilled cheese. Its really hard to explain through writing how nice it really was. I've honestly never had anyone do anything so nice for me before. It was really great.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Its Just One Of Those Days, You Know?
A few months ago I almost dropped out and tried to make a living cooking and cleaning for rent. But I didn't. I decided to stick it out and I started classes again and I'm doing okay.
Today I made a cake from scratch for the first time and it turned out wonderfully.
Actually, when Iwas whipping the eggs and sugar together, it exploded everywhere. I was mixing it in the mixer and it was increasing in volume. Its supposed to increase to 8-10 times, then start settling. Well...mine seems to have increased about...oh, I don't know.... 30 times and began overflowing.
So I went to my super German chef and go "Chef! My eggs! I think theyre getting ready to blast off into outerspace!"
He replies "No...I don't think so..."
"No, Chef! Its gonna blow!"
and sure enough, we have egg-foam overflow.
But, my cakes did turn out AMAZING after all that.
Mm. yummy.
And the inside of my poundcake was the best out of everyone's. The outside looked a little funny, but the inside was phenominal, as were my corn muffins.
And I'm making angelfood cake and ladyfingers tomorrow. So that will be exciting.
It was generally a good day, I guess. I was kind of in a funk after I messed up the eggfoam. I messed up a lot of things after that. But it was okay, for the most part I guess.
My buddy gave me a plastic toy sea-otter because he knows I'm afraid of them. I named him Fredrick.
Anyway. I'm going to sleep now because I'm planning on actually waking up at a normal time in the morning.
goodnight, blog.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
kimya
wrestle the pestle for the sake of the mortar
i love as i breathe and leave as i live
my cast iron shield's a titanium sieve
and a castle that's built on confusion and doubt
is a nickel within and a dollar without
just when the shoes seem so big i can't win
i fill my own sneakers and take off again
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
take all my pain and i mix it with water
it's sunny it's sweet and i don't purple stuff it
one day by the way i met little miss muffet
i blew my mind with the stuff that i taught her
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
i said if a spider should sit down beside you
tell him your name and then tell him the truth
a great hairy spider appeared there and then
and the holes in my soul started letting in wind
i felt like a lamb being led to the slaughter
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
she said i'm miss muffet i'm very afraid
but something inside me is making me stay
i know deep down that if i run away
i'll just meet more spiders and still feel the same
the spider he smiled and said how is this true
when i am so terribly smaller than you?
my web it just went in the way the wind blew
what i was in for i hadn't a clue
he touched her face gently with six of his legs
and licked from her chin a speck of curds and whey
when i was certain they'd both be okay
i tightened my laces and i walked away
as i walked away i was feeling excluded
wishing my impulses weren't diluted
the muscle i hustle is real for my friends
but the muscle i keep for myself is pretend
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
travel the land and i live like a martyr
the things that i do aren't the things that i teach
if i spend my time practicing when will i preach?
i do what i must as you do what you oughta
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
take all my pain and mix it with water
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
i'm lost and alone and i'm fair and i'm free
you am what you is and i are who i be
what i'm lacking in strength i make up for in smarts
you keep your stability i'll keep my heart
fear finds october emotions are juices
beat around bushes and make up excuses
go out for ceruleans come home with chartreuses
snip and cut bonsais and turn them to spruces
miss muffet called me and she said don't cry
real friends are friends until after they die
still i romanticize all this disorder
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
hop the next bus and run for the border
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
give you my life if you give me a quarter
i am the wanderer's wandering daughter
so long it's been good to know ya
so long it's been good to know ya
so long it's been good to know ya
i've got to be moving along
Monday, February 9, 2009
I'M OLD GREG!
I really dont know what to do. I don't know where to put my toothbrushes, I don't have anyone to run to, yelling about my visions, or a room to burst into and go "IM SO HAPPY CUZ IM A GUMMY BEAR, GUMMY BEAR!!!". im reckless!
And sad.
So hopefully she'll come home soon.
Anyhow.
Today was a great day. I woke up and felt fantastic, [then was momentarily shocked as I remembered some events from last night (oops!)] then my friend Slappy came and picked me up and we went to taco bell and drove on old roads in his big green old man detective car and we looked at psych wards. After I got back on campus I did grocery shopping at the cafe here and got some drinks, then went to class. Class was pretty good for the most part. New class, new chef, made corn muffins. AWESOME. I don't have class until 3:30 every day, and that's exciting to me. So it was a good day and I'm feelin happy.
Thats about it.
End.
Friday, February 6, 2009
I'M SO EXCITED!
You're going to have to type in a password to get in because it's private.
Password is Glitter
Album here.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
They're GGGRREEAT!
"I'm working on a puzzle!" She said, exasperated, "and I can't get it...see? It's supposed to be a tiger..."
The husband kneels down to look a little bit closer at the pieces and replies "Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box...."
I just remembered that joke because Im eating Frosted Flakes now. Today was the horrid Grand Buffet, which is more or less the most horrible day of all time. Every 3 weeks we have Grand Buffet in honor of graduation. All of the classes put together dishes and serve them to other students and it is pretty horrible. its just a lot of forced meats. The desserts are good though, the first two times you go. After that it just gets kind of repetitive.
So, I'm going for cereal.
But I would love a bagle.
with cream cheese.
The cheeseycheeseycreamcreamycheese. Thecreamcheese.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
"I Just Drank Like, Ten TONS Of SunnyD And I Gotta Go, Pronto!"
Anyway. Enough of this vomit-blog. I have 3 gallons of SunnyD here and I've barely made a dent.
2.5 gallons to go!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
You Can Call Me The Nanerpus
But see, I get really paranoid around people like that. I seem to have a problem with people approaching me and trying to sell me things in public, I get a little bit scared. So I really don't like things like career fairs. I think it may be because I was chased by a clown when i was a kid and they were trying to give me free hamburger tickets. Who knows. Anyway. Here is some shit about me,
1. I live in Hyde Park New York and I feel more at home here than I ever did in Philly. I love this place and the people I have met.
2. I have really irrational fears such as lint, poop, lugies, and sea otters. Please don't ask, and please don't joke around about the first 3, I will vomit on you.
3. I am a gypsy. I tell fortunes, I can read tarot cards like they're the dollar menu, Ill pick up anything i find on the floor and if you leave your food out, Ill jack it. I will not shrink you.
4. I honestly have people looking for me trying to kill me. I keep low profile in public now or dress opposite of how I am expected to. This isn't a paranoia, it is a fact. I'm not going to get into why, but there are people all over the world looking for me, they just don't know where to find me yet.
5. I believe in quantum physics, chi, and magick. It has all proven to be true so far, for me at least. Yeah, I know its a little bit sketchy sounding, but to each his own, yeah?
6. Recently I learned that my eyes turn yellow. It's really very scary, to be honest. My pupils also pulse. We figured that it's because I really don't eat enough. or something
7. I want to be a SuicideGirl. SO BADLY. I actually got accepted to be one. Doesn't look like its actually going to happen though, as much as I would really, really like it to.
8. Many people think I am a fairy. I don't deny it. Must be all the glitter, dancing, bright colors, and sugar.
9. I have never been to White Castle and I don't really understand why it's such a huge deal?
10. I am very proud of myself for knowing all the words to Bring The Pain by Method Man. Makes me feel like I've got a little bit of cred.
11. I'm really really sad that Michelle is leaving so soon and I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself or who I'm going to go to, screaming like a lunatic because: the Misfits are going to be in town, I broke my arm, I found SunnyD on sale, I just beat a new level of Zombies Ate My Neighbors, etc.
12. I love video games. I could play Zombies Ate My Neighbors all day, and sometimes I do. I will always be more a fan of Sega Genesis and TurboGrafix 16. Don't get my wrong, I dig Soul Caliber 4, but still...Zombies At My Neighbors will always be my favorite.
13. This is my favorite number. It is my birthday, it is the death card. It is fear and it is change.
14. If we ever go shopping together, don't expect me to buy anything normal. Last trip included SunnyD, 2 cans of shaving cream, a huge bag of straws, and watercolor paints.
15. I can eat a lot of food and I have really unusual cravings. So, someday I'm going to get pregnant and smoke a ton of pot then enter a WingBowl and win. Not really, but it is an idea.
16. if we have hung out enough I probably know things about you that you don't even know. I also can identify the way you smell and how you walk. I've also memorized your facial expressions and can probably imitate you flawlessly. I can't imitate the sound of your voice, but I can imitate your ton and delivery.
17. If it involves zombies or vampires, I probably love it. Old school horror is pretty much my favorite thing ever.
18. A lot of people seem to be afraid of me. They have good reason, but not really. I may look like I;m kind of scary, but I'm really not. People tend to turn and look when I enter a room. I can understand why, its just strange.
19. I am teaching myself to play guitar, I'm not very good, but I can play most of my favorite songs, so I'm okay with that. My goal is to learn how to play Turn Soonest To The Sea.
20. This is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. My laundry is almost done. I hadn't done laundry since before Christmas break. Grody to the max. But I still can't believe its only 5:20. I really thought it was like... 8 PM or something.
21. I have had this looming feeling that I will be dying sometime this year. After I get back from extern. The fact that 2 other people have confirmed that they have had the same feeling about me makes me a little bit nervous. I am currently just focusing on now and I also know that I can survive anything between now and then. I also found my church where the funeral will be. Call me morbid, but at least I'm giving out mix CDs as party favors when I die.
22. When I check my laundry, I just look for the dryer with the brightest colors swirling in it. That's how I know it's mine. Well, either that or the most black. I almost stole a girl's laundry today by accident because it was brightly colored. Oops.
23. I haven't eaten a meal in over a week. Just little tidbits of whatever I find. Perhaps I will find something tasty tonight.
24. I wish I was better at glowstringing. I'm not very good with my left hand so I keep hitting myself in the face.
25. I really love ska music sometimes, its like....the band geeks and the drama kids got together in a garage and said "lets make a band!" And its awesome.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
"Chemicals, Man, They'll Fuck You Up."
Black, black, black, black, black, SHAZAM!, black, black, black...
Its freaking awesome.
Just thought I would mention that.
Clashing colors might be my favorite thing ever and I really do love to look like I jumped right out of Wonderland. Gotta love making everyone around you feel like they just dropped acid.
I have a poster for the band The Clash next to my bed.
Every day I roll over and see it
then obey what it says:
CLASH