"Wasn't That A Stardust Fantasy?"

Again, with the Little Miss Sunshin-ery.

I forgot about the actual beauty pageant part of the movie, and how they have actual pageant girls.

Can I just mention how absolutely horrifying pageant girls are?

The ones that are six or seven years old and they have more makeup on than a drag queen.

The fact that these parents dress up their little kids like rodeo-princess Barbie and make them sing and dance and brainwash them into thinking that what they're doing is truly what they want to do is sickening. Being told from that young of an age that they need to wear make-up, they need to be skinny, they need to look perfect and beautiful and that they need to win. What miserable life are they going to have to live because of their mothers what want their daughters to be something they could never be. What kind of irresponsible parent would try to live vicariously through their child? They couldn't achieve their own goals, so they push their children to live an unhealthy lifestyle. It makes me truly and honestly ill. People wonder why anorexia, bulimia, intentional self mutilation syndrome, depression and anxiety and suicide are so common. It is because of things like this:

"To be a total package child, you must make sure ever part of your look is prefect."

-http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/282237/tips_for_childrens_beauty_pageants.html

They are expected to be a "total package child" and live up to impossible standards. Each one trying to "out-pretty" the other, because that is what their parents want them to do. It is so unnatural for a child to act the way they have to act and dress the way they have to dress. Turns out that aliens really do exist.

"Everbody just...pretened to be normal, okay? Like everything is normal here."

The suicidal gay uncle, the heroin addict grandfather, the over-achieving father, the mute son, the daughter that just wants to please, and the mother that tries to cope with it all.

These are all extremes, but really every family is like the main characters of Little Miss Sunshine.

I continue to think about this as I watch the movie. Every one's family is so crazy, but so normal at the same time. Every family has problems, every family has a slightly unhinged member, every family goes on some kind of whirlwind adventure at one pointt or another. Its really very interesting to think about it. Not every family has a gay suicidal uncle that is depressed yet scholarly, but they still have the family member that will desperately need some kind of help but is no longer trusted. Everyone may not directly have that mute son, but there is still the family member that wants nothing more than to get as far away from everyone as possible. Every family has someone that has an addiction, or a problem, but they still want the best for everyone else. But everyone does not have heroin addict grandpa. As I watch this movie, I think about how despite the dramatization, the Hoover family is just like every other family. Just as crazy, just as disheveled,just as problematic.

The only difference is that every family doesn't have a yellow Volkswagen bus.

LOOK! GRANDMA'S UP TO BAT!

My dad got my mom a Wii for Christmas. And I'm happy about that. I couldn't really afford to get anyone anything good this year, and I feel bad. I would have bought that Wii if I had the money to , but I just don't. I was going to do it anyway, but Mom probably would have returned it. So I got her a Carrie Underwood CD and I got my dad a book and some candy. They seemed to like that... so that's good. The games are pretty cool, even though it is a Nintendo... (Here is where you're supposed to imagine a menacing glare.)
My mom seemed to really like it. She played for a few hours, actually. Then made dinner. Then played more. Haha. The best part is that you can make little characters to look like you, or however you want, So we made them look like my mom, my dad, my grandma and grandpa, our neighbor friends, and then I made them look like the guys from My Chemical Romance, and the band members from Mindless Self Indulgence. I must say that it is pretty hilarious seeing my grandmother step up to bat, hit a double, and then see Gerard Way dive for the ball. It seems like its going to be a fun system to have.


They got me a lot of nice things, too. Lots of winter clothes, which is good because I don't have any at all. I only have short sleeve clothes and all of my jeans are three years old, at least. So that was really nice. And they got me books. I love books. It doesn't seem like it really, because I don't seem like a very smart person, but I actually really like reading. I got The Great Gatsby, The Old Man and the Sea, The Chocolate War, and Nick And Norah's Infinite Play List. My friend Julie told me that Nick and Norah's... is a good book, so I guess I'll see. I'm just happy that I got The Great Gatsby. I also got a handful of Cd's, which is always perfect, Got Famous Monsters by The Misfits! It has all the songs that they sung at the concert, so it's wonderful. I got a few others things too, but I don't really find it necessary to talk about all of it, because honestly I feel guilty that I couldn't get everyone nicer things. I had almost 15 people to shop for and I really just don't have the money to buy all of that. Hopefully I'll get a good job and makes good money and be able to buy people cool things. I don't know. Or maybe I'll just have to make people presents for the rest of my life? We'll see...

Why yes, that is Earthworm Jim on my bicep...

After searching and searching for pictures of tattoos (oh I just saw everyone that reads this cringe because they know where this is going...) I decided that there are FAR too many Nintendo tattoos. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with Nintendo, but I've always been a SEGA girl. Always. We have a Genesis that's probably older than me. And I still play it. And its definitely in my dorm room, ready to rock its pixels out. Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Sonic the Hedgehog, Earthworm Jim and Battle Toads definitely dominated my childhood. I don't think there is anything that I've like for this long other than maybe food and cats. So a decided a while ago that I am getting a sleeve of SEGA Genesis games. What more could I gamer girl ask for?!

So, I've been looking at tattoo sleeves and all I see is Nintendo! This disappoints me. The one remotely SEGA one (no pun intended...well...actually...yeah. Pun intended) was this:

Just this one same guy. (He might be my soul mate...?) And then another with just the SEGA logo, and two Sonic related tattoos.

NOT. GOOD. ENOUGH.

I am getting a sleeve of a TON of games. I don't know how much room I'll have on my skinny arm, but I do have a few necessities: 1. Zombies Ate My Neighbors; 2. Sonic the Hedgehog; 3.Battletoads; 4. Echo the Dolphin; and 5. Earthworm Jim. I'm sure I'll get the controller too, or perhaps just the ABC start buttons and D-pad. Perhaps I will get the logo too. SEGA in great, blue letters. Perhaps also the little birds from Flicky.

My only problem is this: Do I want to get the characters that look like the game covers, or do I want them to be like the characters on the TV?

Example:

or

or

I think I would want the covers more than he game-play version. The only problem is when it gets to Zombies Ate My Neighbors.

Observe:

or

Game play version, obviously. So maybe I'll have to do a combo of both.

Either way, you Nintendo nerds don't stand a CHANCE!

To Feel Cozy, Surrounded By Cats

Let me just make a big huge fat musical recommendation and tell every person that ever takes a glance at this blog to listen to Dr. Manhattan.

I wore their shirt yesterday and was listening to them, and the more I listen to them, the more I like them. They really are the coolest band.

I saw them live over the summer and had the pleasure of meeting them all. And then I bought their album and a T-Shirt and they were kind enough to sign my shirt. So its pretty much my favorite shirt ever. AND its neon orange. Totally freakin sweet.

In their pit, their fans dance. Just dance. Like normal people. Okay, some of them wear backpacks and stuff. But that's okay. It's fantastic.

So everyone go listen to Dr. Manhattan. They're grand.

http://www.myspace.com/drmanhattan

Though I did love "Who Wants To Be A Superhero..."

The television these days is really going down hill. Last night it had me in tears.
Reality TV is by far one of the worst inventions of all time. Not only is it addictive, it is completely useless. See, at least there used to be some good reality TV, back in the day. We had Survivor, Big Brother, The Mole, things like that. Nowadays we have A Double Shot At Love (as if A Shot At Love 1&2 weren't bad enough) Charm School, From G's to Gents, and I don't even remember the one I saw yesterday. It was something horrible. This girl had the most atrocious black, blond and blue hair and she was making a fool of herself. It had something to do with singing. Now, on top of all of those, you have Celebreality. Rock of Love with Brett Michael's, Surreal World (Or is it Surreal Life?), Celebrity Fit Club, then the ever loved Let's Snoop in Celebrity's Houses So We Know That Their Lives Are Just as Fucked Up as Ours As We Invade Their Families Privacy And Watch Their Rather Staged Family Crisis. All While Being Envious of Their Large Sums Of Money. Such as Run's House and Hogan Knows Best. And I'm pretty sure that Salt n Peppa had something like that. But really all they're doing is taking D list celebrities and sticking them on suffering networks to try to make the ratings go up. Sounds like a great plan to me. The reason these shows are so horrible is because they're just desperate for desperate, scummy people. They can have a television show with Tila Tequila (whoever that is...) because someone like Bono is: 1. Worth too much; 2. Smarter than that; 3, Actually cared about.
Please, lets up Oprah on a celebrity dating show.
Talk Show Of Love with Oprah Winfrey!
FANTASTIC!

Then on top of that, you start with something like..oh... I don't know... America's Next Top Model. Good idea, yes? Then you have America's Next Top Model 1-35. How many Top Models do we need?
But wait! All of these Top Models need clothing to wear. So hurry! Make up a new show! This is when all of the producer scramble and come up with Project Runway. Brilliant.
Wait...it needs a host...hurry...who is desperate for drug money so they'll do anything now, even though no one cares about them anymore? Oh! How about a slightly-too-old underwear model? Fantastic!
Hold on! We need someone to do all their hair...lets get some no names to compete in Shear Genius, while all the frantic culinarians on Top Chef make food for their lunch break. It's okay, we only need one winner for that. The models will just throw-up the food anyway. And of course they all compete on the latest reality show about interior decorators. Ten points if anyone can name what it is! Because I sure as hell can't remember.
There is nothing to fear though, because if you're mean, loud, and obnoxious enough, MTV will contact you with a contract to find your true love on one of their many shows. As long as you're somewhat attractive or bisexual.
So, by the look of it, as long as you are:

Skinny
Mean
Loud
Bitchy
A back stabber
Hopeless
A chef
A designer
A model
An interior decorator
A hair stylist
Not straight
Black
White
Remotely attractive
Single
Kind of single
Almost single
Willing to pretend to be single
Cheating
On drugs
Fat
Or have appeared on American Idol at least twice;
You have a chance to be on reality TV!

Congratulations, you have succeeded in life.



Next time on Skellyton's Top Blog

Made, Parental Control and Celebrity Rehab spiral out of control. Will our Blogger, with the help of "The Pick-up Artist's" Mystery, be able to successfully handle them? Will True Life: My Life Sucks be able to compete with the ratings of Laguna Beach 12? And finally, will there ever truly be Shalom in the Home?
Find out next time, on Skellyton's Top Blog!

On The Road Again

Long ride home today. Lots of snow. Ian was nice enough to drive me home. We were doing great for about an hour then all of a sudden we got enveloped in a whirling cyclone of frost.

Alright, that was a little bit dramatic.

But I think you get my point. It was a really dangerous drive. Lots of snow. New York to Philly. Quite the adventure. It took HOURS. But we did eat at the Eveready Diner today. yum. Aaaaand... get Starbucks. shhhhh... But honestly, it makes me feel like a spoiled, pretty Cali girl or something when I drink starbucks. Especially when I wear my white coat, sunglasses, or if I'm texting on a phone. I just feel like a shitty person.

But I got home and we went to eat at a grody Texmex place. It was kind of sick. And I went to the bookstore. The bookstore really is an enjoyable place. I enjoy hanging out there.

We then came home and watched Hellboy 2. Abe is such a great character. He's my favorite. See? Isn't he cute??

Anyway.

I'm sleepy. Goodnight.

Ps- Totally saw the 30 Days Of Night graphic novel in the book store today.

MUST. HAVE.

"You can always take the cats off the stove..."

Hahaha.
Thankyou, Cap'n Longhair.

:)

"Thoughts Are Funny Little Things, They Can Make Paupers or Make Kings"

The more I'm here, the more I want to go home.
Today really just sucked. I'm not even going to lie.
I just had to walk home in the ice from McDonalds down a highway, Jenny hasn't had her mother call mine about her visiting, my friend might be pregnant and I've been horribly ill.
This is just a lot right now and the people that I thought I could trust really just don't seem to be there for me anymore. This makes me rather sad, to be honest. I'm not going to lie and pretend that its okay. There is so much stuff going on with my life that I can't even write down on here because I can't afford to have it on the Internet where other people can find it. There are things that I just can't risk. There is an overwhelming feeling of sadness right now and I'm really not all that sure what to do about it.
I also had a dream last night.
I had a dream that I was looking down at two or three large pots of boiling water. In the water were several very very young, dead, kittens. It was very disgusting. And interesting.

"To see a kitten in your dream signifies deceit and trouble ahead. If you dream about a litter of kittens, you may be drawn into a social conflict."

"Hot water foretells a season of social setbacks."

Huh. Makes too much sense.

Anyhow. I have to sit here and wait because my room is locked and I don't have my keys to get back in. They're in Michelle's car. So, I guess I'll just sit around until she gets back or something. I don't know.
Goodnight, computer.




http://www.smartgirl.org/dreamdictionary.html

Title quote by Sidney Madwed

And The Mome Raths Outgrabe

It snowed today and I rolled down a hill over some rocks. Despite the mild pain, it was really fun. I got back from eating breakfast about two hours ago. I've started drinking coffee again; black. Second diner trip in two days. We have found ourselves a new haunt. It is quite an adventure, I must say. My life gets weirder and weirder as the time goes by. I hope I never get used to it.

Yet again I have found something that caught my interest: Tank Girl.

The term Anti-Hero just really catches my eye for some reason.

I feel the need to look into this tank girl. I have heard about her since 11th grade, but never did any investigating. I need to hop on that.

I'm really excited because Jenny is supposed to come on the 28th. I haven't seen her in a while. I really hope she can come. It with be the first time she and my family meet. Hopefully all will go well. Heading home on Thursday or Friday. Hopefully the roads won't be too bad.

This is the kind of post that no one cares about. It's a bummer, really, especially if this is the first post that someone reads of mine. All the other ones are far more interesting. Just for some reason I feel the need to just write about my day or something. So, if you just so happen to be a new reader, there is no need to base your opinions on this. Go read my zombie holocaust blog or my Marilyn Manson VS Jeffree Star blog. They are far more interesting.

Sometimes I feel like Alice from Alice in Wonderland. But not as interesting and not as colorful. I would like to have my own wonderland, really, but mine would not turn out nicely. But then again, neither did Alice's. Hers did not turn out too well in the end. But, I would learn from her mistakes and figure it out a bit more quickly. Since, in all honesty, Alice was not the brightest bulb in the EasyBake Oven.

My wonderland would have a lot more crayons and a lot less things that spoke in cryptic ways. That would be wonderful.

Anyhow, I am going to bed now. Perhaps I will visit my wonderland while I sleep.

Cats and rabbits

Would reside in fancy little houses

And be dressed in shoes

And hats and trousers

In a world of my own

All the flowers

Would have very

Extra special powers

They would sit

And talk to me for hours

When I'm lonely

In a world of my own

There'd be new birds

Lots of nice and friendly

How-do'ya do birds

Everyone would have

A dozen blue birds

Within that world of my own

I could listen to a babbling brook

And hear a song that I could understand

I keep wishing it could be that way

Because my world would be a wonderland

Ps- I love how when I looked up Vorpal Sword on Wikipedia, it gave little tidbits about where it is referenced, then said "see 'Runcible Spoon.'"

Die, Die, Die, My Darling

I would like to quickly write about my moshing experiences.

I've been in quite a few pits. I've had my share of injuries, and I've inflicted quite a few also.

Now, this Misfits show was the first honest-to-blog punk show I've ever been to, with the exception of Warped Tour and Mindless Self Indulgence. (But MSI is a genre within itself, so they don't count.)

I must say that I really really hate punk shows.

Don't get me wrong. It was freaking amazing. It was the most fun I've had in a long time, and it was a spectacular show, but really, I hate those god damned dancers.

I can't stand those assholes that swing their arms around like baboons, charge around like rhinoceros, and act like animals. I can;t stand it. It seems like they go into a pit to hurt each other, not to have a good time. Hell, I'd rather be in a hardcore pit, because at least they just windmill and circle. They don't charge around like raging retards. In the metal pits, there is just a bunch of jumping and throwing and shoving. You generally don't have to worry about getting punched in the throat unless you're doing something stupid. These punk assholes just like to throw their fists around, I think.

Thankfully there wasn't too much of that for the Misfits, just a lot of crowd surfing and bouncing about. But my god. There was a band called You And What Army and my god, I just wanted to nuke the whole damn crowd because they were just being asses. Some dumb ass decided to wear a leather vest and the entire back of it was covered in metal spikes. He looked like a meat tenderizer. And he just charged around like he was after a matador and he looked like an ignorant douchbag.

Now, they were more on the hardcore side than on the punk side.

But holy shit. I doubt I will ever go into a punk pit. They're just pointless.

Though I will always love punk music more than anything else, I'm going to have to go toward the metal side when it comes to pits.

Jerry Be Praised

I will state that the Misfits concert was a success.

One of the best days of my life.

That is usually how it is when I go to concerts. I always have the best days of my life when I go to concerts. This was no exception. This, although not the best concert I've ever seen, may have been my best concert experience.

There were about nine different bands there. I saw...8 of them...7 of them, I think. Two stages. Not much running back and forth, which was good.

The Misfits went on at 11 PM. Last band to go. And oh was it worth it!

They played a ton of songs, I knew most of them. Unfortunately they did not play Saturday Night like I had hoped, but they did play Helena and Last Caress. Along with Astro Zombies and Forbidden Zone. So it was definitely exciting.

While they were on, I ended up literally throwing at least 7 different people. Some kids just don't know how to act. So I feel the need to teach them. They get a hands on learning experience. Which also means getting their face thrown into the ground. Then they learn.

Yay!

I understand that everyone goes just to see the band and everyone pays to go see them, but that does NOT mean that its okay for them to act like an asshole to other people, that paid the same amount of money to see them same band. That is a problem, to me.

I'm good at fixing problems.

BUT!
The plethora of assholes was well worth the end results.

As I stood in the crowd, not too far from the stage, I grinned like a fool and danced. No moshing for me. I go to see the band, not to get beat up. I only do that if I don't know the bands well, so its usually in the opening. There will be more on moshing later.

But I stood and I grinned and as I did, Mr. Jerry Only kept looking over at me. Throughout the entire show he pointed at me, gestured to me, tried to get me to sing (which I did), threw his water on me, and at one point even smiled when I did. this was good. Eye contact was held throughout most of the show.

After they played their last song, Jerry stayed on stage and walked around, shaking hands and signing things. I looked around to see that everything I had was black. Nothing to sign. This was a problem. After deciding it would be too trashy to have him sign my bra, I realized that my shirt was two layered. A white under layer. Of course I ripped off part of it with my teeth and scurried up to the front of the pit. I stood and smiled up at him. He noticed. I've gotten good at this. He then walked over to me and asked how I was doing. I said "fantastic". He then took my scrap of fabric and signed it. As I was getting ready to walk away, he said "wait!" I stopped and looked up again. He then reached up to his face and rubbed some of his black eye makeup off onto his finger. Without skipping a beat he then leaned forward and smeared it on my forehead.

I have been blessed by Jerry Only.

EEEEP! EEP! EEP! EEP!

Now I can die in peace.

Crying On A Saturday Night

Not really! More like "jumping up and down with excitement".


Misfits concert tonight. And I'm really very excited about this.


I am Misfits pre-gaming right now, as I do sometimes before going to a show.


It shall be epic.








UNLIKE THE TURKEY CLUB SANDWICH I HAD TODAY!
That was pretty gross.


I went to Courtside to get something to eat. It took 20 minutes to get my food, and when I got it, it was disgusting. The tomatoes were grainy, the lettuce was browning, the bread was soggy, and the turkey had an odd flavor. So I just pulled out the bacon and ate that. Good enough, I suppose. I need to find something else to eat before I go tonight.








And I'm going to bitch real quick.


For some reason there are these huge blinking blue snow-flake lights hanging between my side and her side of the room. And they were on at 4 in the morning when I got back. And they're screaming blue in my face at night.


Sure, they're pretty, but not when I'm trying to sleep.





I need to get out of here.





MISFITS CONCERT TONIGHT!

two more hours....Misfits...

This Town Deserves a Better Class of Criminal.

A bunch of people are watching The Dark Knight in the lounge right now, and I just so happen to be sitting in there watching it too. I've seen it a good three times or so now.
I never was much of a Batman fan, to be honest.
I know a lot of people like Batman because he's just a person that doesn't need superpowers to do great things. And I agree, that is cool, but that just makes him a hero. Not a superhero. Because he doesn't have any super powers.

[okay, so the Joker just blew up the fat guy with his cell phone. We're in a really really really dark room with only the TV on, and the man just blew up and I couldnt help but laugh manically when he exploded.]

But yes. I don't really like Batman. I really just like the villians. They're my favorite. I love the villians. That's about it. When I comes to superheroes, I really like X-Men. I like the fact that they were born that way and that they are frowned upon in society, but they still keep going to do good. For the most part. I would have to say that Nightcrawler is my favorite. But then again, Nightcrawler seems to be everyone's favorite.

Anyway. Off to go watch more Batman and find more things to write about.




PS- Just got news that Maggie Gyllenhaal might be playing Cat Woman.


P.s.s - I like this movie because they dont kill her.

Coffeeblog

I hate to say it, but I freaking LOVE the Starbucks Peppermint Mocha frappuchinno. Starbucks is one of those things that I would gladly give up if I could find a cheap, healthy, local alternative. But unfortunately I am stull searching I usually don't like coffee because it makes me turn kind of mean. I think because it's a hot beverage, and I don't do well with warm, its bitter, which hurts my stomach, and its got caffiene. i'm usually really good with caffeine though, I can drink redbull and soda. I just think coffee messes with me. But I love it so. usually I drink it black. Mmm. I havent had a cup of black coffee in a raelly long time. I think I'll do that after class tomorrow.

BLOGZILLA!!

I'm in a really bloggy mood today so expect lots to read. I don't eve know. I'm on a total energy high right now to the point of where I can't even eat. Though I'm doing it anyway. OH WELL!

II've had Hong Kong Garden by Souixsie and the Banshees and Little China Girl By David Bowie stuck in my head on and off all day. I'm not complaining. I just seem to be in a pretty Asian mood or something. Usually I'm singing Dancing Queen all day long. This is a pleasant change. Always happy with a little Siouxsie-Sioux. Same with Bowie. And now I have a really strong urge to watch Labyrinth. I'm not sure how I feel about that, really. Slightly too much grey spandex for me liking, thank you.

I'm currently sitting in the bar restaurant of my school and listening to the jukebox.
Its playing Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. Nothing to complain about there. I really enjoy sitting in there and just looking at all the different people that come in. Quite a broad group really.

Anyway. I feel as though I'm getting distracted and writing anything that pops into my head, which could be very dangerous for any readers. So I'm going to sign out for now, probably write something else later.



Off I go!





Ps. Audioslave reminds me of Nirvana, I think.
They are now on my list of bands to not listen to.


P.s.s- Now the the jukebox is playing Icky Thump by The White Stripes. It must be White Stripes day. When I die, I want my soul to possess a jukebox.

I Am Willing To Let The Jetset Life Kill Me

Its been a few days. I've been sick. It blows. Ah well.

I have two goals. Two major goals. One being bigger than the other.

1. Go see the Misfits this weekend. I really need to go get tickets and find someone to go with, but at this point, I'd walk to the venue and go by myself. Its important. Sure it is fun to go to shows with friends and cheer and have a great time, but I really go to see the band, not make conversation. Maybe that sounds really horrible, but if I wanted to just hang out with my friends, a concert would not be the best place...I'd say pick somewhere like the Starbucks in Barns And Noble or something. Or maybe a pool-hall? I don't know. When I go to a concert, I got for the music and the music ONLY.
But anyway. The Misfits are the last band I need to see before I die. Yeah, sure, there are other ones that I wouldn't mind seeing, such as Wu-Tang,The Weakerthans, Leathermouth, Dr. Acula, Marilyn Manson and Protest The Hero, but they really aren't 100% necessary. I've already seen all the other ones I needed to (My Chemical Romance, Queen, Mindless Self Indulgence, Spice Girls [hell yes.], Horrorpops [Hell Yeah!], Taking Back Sunday and mewithoutYou.) some more than once. There have been bands that I was supposed to see up to five times (cough, My Chemical Romance) but things went horribly wrong. (Such as mothers thinking they were a bad influence [funny now she likes them and we listen to them in the car], food poisoning, fear that they were going to drop dead at the show AFTER the food poisoning, outrageous snow and the inability to get there. Thankfully I FINALLY made it to two of their shows. And now that I live in two different places, I'll get to see them a few more times when they start touring again. Oh shit. Tangent.)
Damn. Where was I?
OH! Bands.
I really do love the Misfits. There is something slightly 'b-movie" about them and it's fantastic. Who would think? They really are the last band I need to see before I die. With my luck, I'll get struck by lightning as soon as I stepped out of the venue. But I think I'd be okay with that.


Next on the list:


2. Get a role in The Umbrella Academy movie. I would go to ridiculous lengths just to get a walk-on. RIDICULOUS. Though I would LOVE to play The Rumor. But, I can deal with walk on or extra. Or even just scooting around the set with a tray of little sandwiches and redbull for the cast. I don't care.

I honestly think that I am supposed to be acting. I really do. I miss it so much and its something that is continuously changing. When you act, you're never just doing the same thing. Its always something different. And that's perfect for someone like me who can't sit still. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy cooking and baking. This is the profession that will keep me going and stable and guarantee a career for me in the future. Though, I would love more than anything to act.
I think I'm going to finish my associates in baking, then go on to do acting instead, because that it what I really want to do. I just feel like if I stop with culinary now, I'll never really get the job. I'll be stuck doing something I hate. I feel like this is what will help me get by in life. Unless I somehow become a famous actress. And we all know how likely that is. I don't know. I wish it weren't so out of reach. Being a train-ride away from Manhattan is fantastic, only problem is that it makes me that much farther from LA. Maybe someone with great connections will stumble upon this or something. If someone ever contacted me about acting in a feature film, I would drop everything but my pants and hop on the next plane to whatever location.

Hell, I would even miss the Misfits show.

Drive-by Gun-slinging

Often I find myself wishing that I carried a gun with me at all times. Not really to hurt anyone or anything, but just to have. For example:
I was walking from the main building of my college today down to my dorm. To get there I have to walk down a wide walkway then across a small street. There is a marked path to cross the street and on either side of it is a stop sign, so cars coming from either direction have to stop to let the students pass.
Today I'm walking along, down the walkway and I get to the street, and some ignorant woman "stops" at the stop sign (and by stop, I mean "barely slowdown and then go blowing through it". She was supposed to stop so I could walk across the street safely. But the dirty bitch just blew by. At that moment I wish that I had a small handgun so I could shoot out her tires and send her barreling into bushes.
Moments like that are when I wish I had a gun. Also like today when people were throwing large pears at my door. I wish I could have just thrown the door open and gone "BANGBANGBANG!" and shot all the fruit out of their hands. That would have been fantastic.

FRUIT SHOOTER!

Z-Day

Z-Day draws nearer

a time of crisis awaits

ready the chainsaws

These fuckers are quick.

Sometimes I wish that there were some device that could be used to pump food directly into the stomach. Maybe a small portable one, like a syringe, that was just injected into the stomach area. Instead of having to go and sit and eat a full meal when you dont have to. Sometimes I eat because I'm actually hungry, not because I like food and during those times, full meals are sometimes unavailible. So, I wish there were some kind of injector that could put a very heavy food substance into my stomach to make me not hungry. These things would be good for on airplanes, trains, during meetings and classes. Or maybe I'm just a Fatty McFatterson.

Silly Rabbit, My Ass.

As I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms, I remember that the shape of Trix cereal had been changed. Can I just mention how much this bothers me? Trix used to be so cool, with all of its bright colors and amazing fruit shapes. Now they're just little balls, like a big bowl of rainbow Cap'n Crunch. This is disappointing. And look at them, saying "NEW SHAPE!" as if its some grand accomplishment. What is that? What is this nonsense! I rid my hands of you, Trix cereal. I rid my hands of you.

Grab bags

My family often likes to go to Dairy Queen. We usually all get the same thing. Some odd mixed hot-fudgy concoction, a heath bar blizzard, and another blizzard.
Its all generally the same, except for when my dad gets a grab-bag.

Grab-bag, n.

A bag of mixed, randomly selected frozen treats from Dairy Queen

Syn: bag of mistakes

We've come to realize that all a grab-bag is, is a bunch of mess-ups that are put in a bag in the freezer that you get for cheap.
GROSS!

I blame 4chan for all the problems of this world.

Canada, it looks like you're off the hook for now.

"Antichrist Superstar" vs. "Queen Of The Internet"

"Just as the industrial goths followed NIN, the scene kids follow Jeffree Star,
who really is just a pink-powdered, ultra-femme, sparkles and frosting covered
version of Marilyn Manson."

A quote from my last post.


In this post we will observe the few similarities and vast differences between the two teen idols that both have been noted as "before their time".


Let us observe the physical.
*insert slide-show click here*

VS.

See what I mean when I say "pink-powdered, ultra-femme, sparkles and frosting covered version of Marylin Manson." ? The similarities between Mr. Manson and Mr(s?). Star are striking. Though, it seems as though Jeffree is simply a silicone-sealed generic Manson knock off.
Fascinating. I feel as though nothing more needs to be said about the physical appearance.

Let us observe the musical
*slide change*


Marilyn Manson

Manson is well know for his anti religious, anti society lyrics, attitude and behavior. Songs such as This Is The New Shit, Antichrist Superstar, Disposable Teens, Heart Shaped Glasses, and The Beautiful People have clearly communicated a dislike for the standstills in society and conformity.
Here is a sample of lyrics from Marilyn Manson's song Are You The Rabbit?:

So ask your self before you get in,
I know the insurance won't cover this.
Are you the rabbit or the headlight,
And is there room in your life
For one more breakdown?

You can't escape,
Can't escape
All your demons.
All you demons,
"Watch out, watch out, for your lovers."



This song is from Manson's latest album, which was release in 2007. It relates to strong human emotion, life situations, and relies on mental visualization. These common themes in Manson's songs are part of what has kept his music popular over the years.

Jeffree Star

With songs like Heart Surgery (Isn't That Bad...), Miss Boombox, Cupcakes Taste Like Violence, Plastic Surgery Slumber Party and We Want Cunts, Jeffree Star has made it clear that his focus will be on things such as glamor, "scene", trends, fashion, and elitism.

Here is a sample of lyrics from Jeffree Star's song Eyelash Curlers and Butcher Knives (What's The Difference:

Spit on the dance floor to know where you are
Slip to the beat drivin' in my pink car
Know you love
And I love that I'm Jeffree Star

Cameras are flashin',
everyone's askin' what I'm gonna do tonight..
Who I'm gonna do tonight..

We have our haircut, eyes shut we're already there
Don't know their names an I dont really care
Cuz I only suck dick and just to be fair,
You're not on the menu, you'll never compare

Songs such as this appeal to the newest trend wave of the 2000's. Glamore, sex, and vanity. This path has been taken by artists before, but never to such an embarrassing extent. Jeffree Star's music focuses entirely on trends and his attempt to be something new and 'scary' to the public.

Here are two photographs of each artist's live performances:

Let us observe the artistic
*slide change*

Marilyn Manson is not only known for his musical career, but also his artistic abilities. He has a vast gallery of watercolor paintings that he has done. His recent art show "The Golden Age Of Grotesque" sold over 30 pieces. Here are a few examples of his artwork.

Jeffree Star shows his artistic ability through fashion and makeup. He is a well known MAC makeup artist in California. He was discovered at nightclubs.

"Star was able to mollify his obsessive compulsive disorder with his mother's makeup and fineries and eventually this quiet desire for beauty got louder and louder; from this grew his unnatural and many say unholy desire to take over the underground. On weekends, Jeffree hit the Hollywood clubs, where he would dress in outlandish mini dresses and 9 inch high heels. This is where he met Celebrities that loved his makeup work and tapped his number into their cell phones. While other kids where studying and doing homework, Jeffree was in mansions and music videos, doing makeup and making tons of money.
Eventually, his club going discipline worked to his advantage; suddenly everyone knew his name. Everyone was everywhere, claustrophobic, smothering, and strangely and perpetually, comforting. Everyone wanted a picture taken with him and everyone wanted to know where he was going next. He now attends shows and kids maul him. He gives out more autographs than bands, and he spits more profound makeup advice than MAC or Revlon."

Example of his makeup work here.

and finally

Let us observe the intellect
*slide change*

Here we will observe the intellect of our two musical artists simply be the things that they say. I will show each of their quotes one after the other.

Marilyn Manson

“When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?”

Jeffree Star

"My life is just another reminder that I'm the reason
teenage girls shove their fingers down their throats and little boys question
their sexuality."

Marilyn Manson

“I never said to be like me, I say to be like you and make a
difference.”

Jeffree Star

"sorry if we can't all be unoriginal, but I have a
mold to break."

Marilyn Manson

“A lot of people don't want to make their own decisions. They're too scared.
It's much easier to be told what to do. Americans talk so much about being
individualistic, but they don't want you to be an individual because if you
think for yourself then you're not going to be a part of any trend that they
want you to be a part of. They don't want you to think for yourself. They tell
you they do so that you're happy and you're stupid and you're sheep. Anybody
intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit around and do
nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am. They're going to
be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed. These people are
artists. These people are musicians. They're taking it out and trying to express
it that way. The rest of the world, who are just willing to accept it, are gonna
be doing their everyday jobs, and they're going to be trapped in a rut, and
they're never gonna see it until the day they die, and they're gonna be
disappointed when they don't go to heaven anyway 'cause they were too stupid to
realize that it's not going to happen.”

Jeffree Star

"I'm everything we fear today among society."

Marilyn Manson

“I view my job as being someone who is supposed to piss people off.
I don't want to be just one-of-the-guys. I don't want to be just a smiling face you see on television presenting some vapid kind of easily-digestible
garbage."

Jeffree Star

"I’m a billboard, advertising your aging confidence,
self-destruction and sagging self-esteem."

Marilyn Manson

“The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to
accept. They'd rather sit in front of the TV and let that tell them what they're supposed to like, what they're supposed to buy, and what they're supposed to laugh at.”

Jeffree Star

"Hi, my name's Jeffree Star and one time God told me
it was unhealthy to be so popular, that's probably why I'm sick all the
time."

Marilyn Manson

“You should have to pass an IQ test before you breed. You have to
take a driving test to operate vehicles and an SAT test to get into college. So
why don't you have to take some sort of test before you give birth to children?
When I am President, that's the first rule I will institute.”

Jeffree Star

"The vanity sanctuary will keep me safe and you can
try to break me down but you’re only hurting yourself, just like you’re supposed to be doing. "

Marilyn Manson

“In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just
haven't been on the show.”

Jeffree Star

"People need to hate me because they hate
themselves. They want to believe the rumors about me because they don't have their own rumors. I'm here to stay, with my diamond rims and pink lipstick, so get used to it and worry about yourself before you try and be negative towards me."

Marilyn Manson

"I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing
control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I
always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society.”

Jeffree Star

"Sure, everybody wants to play God, but for me it's a
full-time job."

Marilyn Manson

“[According to an official statement,] the complaints are from religious
preachers who simply want publicity. Marilyn Manson isn't against God, but against organized religion, ... are just like any other heavy metal show, with
kids dressed in black with painted faces. They're not dangerous.”

Jeffree Star

"Half super bitch and half mega cunt. He is a self admitted boyfriend thief and makeup addict, he is a photo junkie and designer clothes slut, he is brazenly sexual and openly subversive; he has become a role model for the new post 911 America. The world feels like a funeral and Jstar is the high heeled embalmer, filling the world with reality and plastic mixed with
disaster. "

Marilyn Manson

“Is adult entertainment killing our children? Or is killing our children entertaining our adults?”

*end slide show*

Here we have compared and contrasted two alternative music cult icons. We have seen the difference between then physically, artistically, musically and intellectually, we are now able to form valid opinions on the direction that the entertainment of today is going.

“This is the culture you're raising your kids in. Don't be surprised if it blows up in your face.”

-Marilyn Manson

Mall/Maul

I've been to the mall twice today, buying nothing either time. Wait, no. I actually bought food both times. Anyway.
While walking by HotTopic, I felt the need to stop and stare at the store from across the mall. That used to be the place to be. That was where it's at. At least amongst all the "alternative" kids. But that then go me to thinking.
It started with all the 80's Guns N Roses, Billy Idol, Poison, stuff. It didn't do too well at first, but it got there. The kids that originally went there were all the industrial goth kids that followed Marilyn Mason like he was some holy prophet, or Nine Inch Nails. Either, or.
And of course, anything the goth kids do, the punk kids have to do, but in their own way.
Or something. So you have the two of them doing whatever, then onto the grunge kids that didn't wash for weeks on end. And it was all good.
Then something happened.
Somewhere between the death of emotive-hardcore and the birth of post-hardcore, the mall goths began to rise in the early 2000's. Slipknot, Korn, etc. And there was nothing wrong with this, until the constant message of death and self hate was being taken from the music.
Im not saying that the message of death and self hate is what the music was trying to communicate, but that was the way it was taken. That then began to morph into what would now be called "emo". Taking the term out of context and using it as something entirely redundant, describing an incorrect genre of music along with a kind of person. Now, mid 2000's the "emo" kids began to show up, further glorifying the idea of death. Not the idea of killing or hurting others, but the idea of killing and hurting one's self. Suicide and self mutilation became a trend. It became cool. Agony, depression and self loathing was a common theme. Within four years, the trend then evolved into what is no known as "scene". Basically the same style as "emo" (though dwelling a bit more on being elitists) but instead of cutting themselves with razors, they cut themselves with credit cards.* Just as the industrial goths followed NIN, the scene kids follow Jeffree Star, who really is just a pink-powdered, ultra-femme, sparkles and frosting covered version of Marilyn Manson.
I suppose that it is simply natural for older generations to fear for the younger, but honestly I do a lot more than just fear for the generation after me. A low price has already been put on life by my generation and the one before, and it seems to be rapidly going downhill. I am terrified to know what the next "trend" is. The next "cool" "hip" thing. I really am afraid to know what is going to happen next and what horrific fashion will appear in the next two years among those "alternative" kids and among the "scene". We will all find out sooner to later. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. All we can do is hope for the best.

*thanks to Jenny's friend Ian

"OH! I REMEMBER! STAR WARS! FIGHTING WITH LIGHTSABERS!"

So my mom wants a Wii.
I think it's pretty funny.
The Starwars game is the one she thinks would be fun.
The thought of it is slightly scary.
Here is a short poem.

Fun or dangerous

Mom fighting with lightsabers

The Starwars Wii game

"I believe I could be a valuble asset to your team"

If ever there is a zombie holocaust, I would not survive.
I would die. Straight up. And I know it. I'm not going to deny the fact that I would be zombie chow. And I'm okay with that.
Well, no. Not really. I'm really not okay with that at all.
What am I talking about?!

BUT
I can tell you this:
If ever there is a zombie holocaust, though I would probably not survive, I could tell you how to.
If there is anyone that would know how to survive a zombie attack, it would be me.

See, I'm not such a fast runner and I've never held a gun in my life. So when the time came where I would have to whip out a shotgun and blast some zombie skulls, I probably wouldn't be able to stand up, due to the recoil. And the fact that I have horrible aim doesn't help in the least.
But, on the other hand, I could tell you what kind of guns you need and where to shoot.
I would be able to tell you that you probably dont want to light the zombies on fire, because then not only do you have flesh-eating, virus infected, mindless people running you down, they're also on FIRE. If for some reason you do catch them on fire, avoid running through a corn feild to get away. That might be a mistake.

I could tell you what you need to armor your bus with. (yes, you use a bus.) I could tell you what to do if you got bit. (Either amputate that shit or blast your head off.)
You have a zombie question, I've got the answer.
Just don't expect me to live through it.

When it comes to zombie movies, the people do everything the hardest way possible.
See, all they have to do is
1. go to the mall and ask the mall goths what to do
2. go to game stop. Everyone there will know
3. search basements for computer, movie, and comic book nerds.

They all know just what to do!

SALVATION!

I'm going to keep it simple

I want people to read my blog because of what I have to say. Not because of what it looks like.
A'iight?
Word.

A bit about me, I guess. Not as if anyone will be reading this. haha.

I really dont even think anyone knows that I have this.
Oh wait. Of course they don't. I havent told anyone. Oh well!
Maybe I will.
So, if any stranger just so happens to stumble upon this, you can now know who I am, slightly.


I am nobody and I do not exist.
If you know me, you will beg to differ. But you don't know me as well as I do, which is interesting, considering that I hardly know myself. That is the way I intened to keep it. At least for you. If you truly care to find out about me and to see me as something more than a figment of your imagination, then it is entirely up to you and I will not aid you on your journey and you will be completely and entirely alone, just as I was as I tried to find myself as more than a figment. Recently I had everything I believed about myself turned upside down and shaken out of me. I am currently standing on a large stepping stone in a creek. The stone is cracked and very slippery. But if you care to know, I do have a few things about me that I am willing to share without you having to ask. Whether you find them useful or not is up to you. Though remember that nothing is not useful, its simply a matter of how you use it. For starters, I love questions. I aboslutely love them. I adore them. Questions. Questions of all sorts. All shapes and sizes and of any matter of importance. I love asking questions. I love answering questions. I love knowing why people ask them and why they answer them in the way that they do. I like to know why people do things, but I do not like when people ask me why I do or questions my actions. I like to think. I am a thinker. I like thinking and I like words. I'm good with words and letters. "I think therefore I am". Even though I like to think, I do not always like to talk about the different thoughts I have. I don't like surprises, but I like to surprise. I don't like being scared but I enjoy scaring. You can catch me jumping out of bushes at small children on halloween. Then I steal the candy they dropped. If I'm lucky enough I can get a whole bag.That leads to perhaps the second most important thing about me. Candy. There are very few things I wouldn't do for a piece of candy. Good candy. I like candy. I like sugar. I like maple syrup. I like honey. Anything sweet. I love sweets. This may be a downfall. I give a new meaning to the lyrics "You are my sweetest downfall" I have taken shots of maple syrup and eaten honey with a spoon. I run on sweet things. I also crave the most unusual food sometimes. Just today I was craving oreo cookies, raw broccoli, baked potatoes, and KFC gravy. At least half of the time the food I crave is actually food I do not like. I am known for eating food I don't like simply because its there. I once ate nearly a whole pan of brownies. I hate brownies. Even though I am a baker. I am currently going to school at the Culinary Institute of American for a degree in Baking and Pastry Arts Management. It is located in New York. My life is confusing right now when it comes to academics. I don't consider myself to be an academic or intelligent person. This is part of my stepping stone. My original intention was to go to The New School Of Art in New York City for some sort of art degree. Midway through the application process I had a mental breakdown and I haven't done art since, with the exception of one painting. I do not intend to ever do art again. That is all I wish to share with you up front. If you are interested in knowing more, I'm sure there is a rumor or two out there going on about me that you can believe. If you wish to find me, I will be where ever I shouldn't be, doing something I shouldn't do.

Teen Commits Suicide Live On Webcam

This was the first news update to catch my eye. A kid, a little bit older than myself, took a lethal dose of medication and killed himself on a website called Justintv.com. Apparently it's a bodybuilding site. He had been blogging about his thoughts of suicide for hours before. This particular article struck me, for some reason. Maybe because it mentioned the word "teen", meaning it could possibly relate to me in one way or another.I really find events like this to be quite astounding. Sudden, spur of the moment occurances that no one can do anything about. A kid ODing on a body building webcam, a british man hanging himself live online, another man shooting himself in the head. All of these were meant to be seen by whoever was watching at the time.Things like this scare me, to be honest. It shows how serious people really can be. It shows how desperate someone can be, looking for help.Some people say that its looking for attention. Maybe that iss the case with some. But I really don't know.The fact that someone actually went through with it is terrifying. And the fact that there could have been hundreds of people watching, unable to do anything. It is said that some of the people that were viewing contacted the admin of the site, who located where he was and then sent police, though it was too late by the time they got there.It is also said that some people encouraged him to kill himself.I am at a loss for words.I wonder. Are we desensitized? Do we not believe that people really wont do things like this? Is this the new way to slake our boredom?It is said that intelligent people become bored more easily then unintelligent people, simply because their minds require more things to keep them entertained.I would not call this intelligence.I believe that at this day and age, people have simply become cruel.There are no two ways about it.People have become cruel.For their own entertainment.Has this ever-present threat of suicide become so monotonous that every attempt or suggestion of it become farse?No.We all should know now more than ever that it is a very real thing that really can happen.Egging someone on could very well cause them to take that last pill, tie that knot, or pull that trigger.We should all know this by now.Now more than ever we have proof that it does happen.People become unstable, they get lost, they feel hopeless. It. does. happen.We have a detached sense of reality. We have less and less to live for.We have destroyed ourselves and everything around us.And it is not getting better.Wake up.

Gays Are Ruining The Sanctity of Marriage

This misconception that the world has fallen under seems to be growing more and more irration as time passes.The thought that homosexual couples are ruining the sanctity of marriage is absolutely absurd. It isn't the gays that are destroying the sanctity of marriage, its the Brittany Spears, the Anna Nicole Smiths, the FlavorFlaves and the millions of other people that marry just for the sake of getting married. For the sake of publicity, popularity, and money. THAT is what is destroying the sanctity of marriage. The people that marry someone just to be married, then find later that they were never really in love. The people that cheat on their spouses then get married to whoever they've been sleeping with.We use the excuse of marriage being a religious event. The word marriage is a religious thing. First off, marriage is brought about by a judge, by the state. In our Constitution, it clearly says that there will be seperation of church and state. Marriage is not just religious. Athiests get marries, scientologists get married. People of no declaired faith get married. Marriage is no longer religious.Secondly, if marriage is religious, no one should be able to get married at this point. Murderers, liars, theives, cheaters and adulterers should not be allowed to marry.Living on a country of "equal opportunity" ,living in "the land of the free" should mean that we truly do all have an equal opportunity, we all are free to do our will, as long as it hurts no one. Everyone should be free to have life, libery and the persuit of happiness. No exceptions.As humans, we fear what is different. We fear things that we do not understand. We have been this way for a long, long time.People find that a same-sex couple is "different" A same sex couple is the exact same as a heterosexual couple.They have both have a love for each other, they both fight, they both argue, they both make up. Sometimes they don't. They both want to be happy, they both want to be with the ones that they love more than anyone or anything in the word.They are the same. Often homosexual relationships are miscontsrued into seeming as if they're based purely on physical. This is just as true as saying that a straight couple is based purely on physical. It does happen. But it really isn't always the case. It is frustrating to know that there are people that think homosexuals are ruining the sanctity of marriages, when in reality, everyone is. Eveyr stereotype, every social group, every kind of person is ruining the sanctity of marriage, there is no specific person or group that can be targeted. It has nothing to do with the gender of the person, but the reason behind the marriage.